I’m once again sitting in an airport, blogging.

I do that a lot these days.

Chatting with some MOMocrats this week, I realized the Democratic National Convention starts August 25th. The Republican National Convention starts September 1st.

So what? Right?

Kindergarten starts August 13th.

That means just a few weeks after my baby boy starts the very daunting task of navigating elementary school- his Mom is skipping town for two weeks.

Sure, I’ll be home for a weekend in the middle there somewhere…but mostly I will be entrenched in politics.

This is weighing on me. Heavily.

How will it affect his adjustment to a new school and environment? Will having his grandparents stay with us help? Hurt?

Am I the worst mother EVER for going?

Then, like a choir of angels, the MOMocrat women chimed in:

“Take a deep breath. You’re a great mom, your kids are adorable, and you are doing a terrific job of keeping it all in balance (even if it doesn’t feel that way).”

“I hear you Erin. Hang in there.

It’s why I keep asking about the self interest versus greater good interest.

The first day of the DNCC is the first day of school here. And even though it’s not a first for my first grader, we might be switching preschools for my younger one (or back or not or holy crap wtf).

NOBODY has the ideal. The key is to do the best we can with the lives we have and from here it seems like you are def. doing that. hang in there.”

“Erin, I am totally serious about this– what you are doing, covering the elections for BlogHer and MOMocrats– this is making the world a better place for ALL children. You are doing this stuff for your children. And one day they will know it and thank you for it.”

I didn’t ask if I could publish these, so I’m leaving their names off. But…they know who they are.

And I’m going to print these words and tape them to my laptop.

As I get situated in San Francisco for BlogHer ’08, I’ll be very busy- calling home when I can to kids who may or may not feel like talking. As I talk with Liz Mair, Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz, and all the wonderful women I know…I’m going to remember these words.

Simply…thank you.

After a trip wrought with delay after delay I was very excited to see my children. As I walked in the door to pick them up after a very long day of travel, they greeted me with a million kisses and gifts.

Then they woke me up at 645am and have yet to move more than an inch from my side. Crawling on me, climbing on me, petting me, snuggling with me, whining at me, whining near me, moving only to grab a toy and then to run right back to re-glue themselves to a thigh or an arm.

I peed with a child on my lap and am typing right now one-handed, as my other hand is being held captive by a small person who can’t seem to pronounce her “L’s” very well.

My son used the back of my shirt as a leash as I walked to get the mail. My daughter won’t go get her stuffed dog from the other room unless I carry her there and back.

The house went from clean to a total disaster in the first half of the day and this afternoon we are all still in our pj’s. I’m trying to make it to the park before tonight’s debate and another “mom’s butt on couch for 3 hours” session but the phone keeps ringing.

While the airport was crowded and loud, much like my house, at least the other passengers weren’t climbing on me and I could get some work done.

I’m also totally annoyed because I have about 20 pages left in The Other Boleyn Girl as my flight landed 20 pages too soon and despite STILL being in my PJ’s today I can’t seem to find the time or arms to finish.

Maybe I can carry the girl to the bathroom with me, have her grab the book-let the boy hold my shirt on the way and sit on my feet as I pee and read out loud. Then everyone is happy.

Or I can just plan another business trip.

Hi, your friendly neighborhood Kaiser reporting on the Queen and her lack of body parts.  Not only can I hold over her head the fact that I’ve been published in GQ and she hasn’t, I can also boast that I, in fact, have more vital organs than she does.

Here’s what was learned today:

Don’t say “Put it in her butt!” when the nurse has to check your wife’s temperature for a second time because the first try didn’t work.

Don’t say “This happens every time we try heroin.” to the nurse when she’s trying to find one of your wife’s veins to take blood.Don’t say “Except for when I pass out.” to the nurse when she deadpans “It must be fun and laughs AALLLLLLLL the time at your house.” to your wife.

Saying these things will actually make your wife LESS comfortable.  Not more.  But Less.

Here is what was NOT learned:

Kaiser = Idiot.

But enough about me.

The Queen is doing as well as one could expect for a person who’s thyroid is currently residing in a jar. She was in rough shape afterwards, but there were no complications, nothing unexpected. Not sure when she’s coming home, but it’ll probably be tomorrow evening.  Nana said the kids were great all day.  I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to report, so I’ll shut up now. Twelve hours too late…

…seriously, that is soooooooooooooo last week.

For those of you who missed it, here’s what breastfeeding a 16-month old looks like.

So apparently a bunch of tightwads have their panties in a bunch because BabyTalk Magazine used this on their cover:

I hate to burst their bubbles, but…um…it’s a boob. We ALL have them. They are for FOOD. For kids. That whole sex part? Secondary. And stupid, I might add.

So to all you beyoootches that don’t like to see boob while it’s being used as it was intended: Turn your fucking heads and shut the fuck up.

Your puritanical, unnatural, suppressed sexually, self-conscience, repulsive, and oppressed opinions on the matter are unwarranted, unsolicited, and ignorant.

Would you also like me to wear an apron while I serve my husband dinner? Maybe get him his slippers when he gets home and walk ten paces behind him in public? Should I also not be allowed to drive? Vote? Control my own reproduction? Feed my child in PUBLIC???
If your 13-year-old wants to jerk off to a BabyTalk magazine cover, maybe you need to hide the National Geographic as well. And to those of you who find it “Gross” and “shocking”-maybe you need to get out of your “don’t make eye contact in elevators, shop at major mega stores, avoid the news” world a little more. Because I’ll be out there. Feeding my kids. With my tit.

And if you don’t like it, you can suck it.

***and I’m even more pissed because I had to see this story just an hour before leaving for BlogHer…you know, where they have daycare and a quiet room for breastfeeding and are PRO WOMAN. Not like the rest of the U.S. Where it’s ok to get all upset about breastfeeding in a public way.