Everybody See This?

A Queen PSA:

(CNN) — The makers of several leading over-the-counter cold medications are voluntarily withdrawing products sold for infants, the Consumer Healthcare Products Association said Thursday.

The over-the-counter cold medications for infants that are being voluntarily withdrawn are:

Dimetapp Decongestant Plus Cough Infant Drops

Dimetapp Decongestant Infant Drops

Little Colds Decongestant Plus Cough

Little Colds Multi-Symptom Cold Formula

Pediacare Infant Drops Decongestant (containing pseudoephedrine)

Pediacare Infant Drops Decongestant & Cough (containing pseudoephedrine)

Pediacare Infant Dropper Decongestant (containing phenylephrine)

Pediacare Infant Dropper Long-Acting Cough

Pediacare Infant Dropper Decongestant & Cough (containing phenylephrine)

Robitussin Infant Cough DM Drops

Triaminic Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant

Triaminic Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant Plus Cough

Tylenol Concentrated Infants’ Drops Plus Cold

Tylenol Concentrated Infants’ Drops Plus Cold & Cough

I think I probably overdose my kids. I have a friend who always UNDERdoses because she’s so paranoid. This scares me because I know sometimes you’re so desperate to stop that cough or that runny nose or that miserable baby/kid laying there thing that its really hard. This little “voluntary” recall combined with last months news that cough suppressants don’t even WORK…sigh.

The US Government Wants Your Kids to Be Sick

***Queen edit: Karen sent me the link to the ads, old and new, for you to see. What do you think-scare tactic or hard hitting?***

I’m absolutely through the ROOF on this one. The Washington Post is reporting today breastfeeding ads by federal health officials were CENSORED to blow smoke up the formula lobby’s ass. DESPITE THE FACT THIS DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF OUR CHILDREN.
The formula lobby HIRED the FORMER CHAIRMAN of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE to fight what was to be a really strong campaign to show women just what might happen to their kids if they chose NOT to breastfeed.

Heath and Human Services HIRED an ad agency who came up with the spots (showing inhalers and insulin syringes) and when FORCED to tone them down the ad agency warned the new ads would NOT be effective. And guess what???? “The milder campaign HHS eventually used had no discernible impact on the nation’s breast-feeding rate, which lags behind the rate in many European countries.”

As if that isn’t bad enough, some of the GOOD people at HHS tried to get the word out anyway when a new study appeared further confirming the dire need to raise US breastfeeding rates,

“A top HHS official said that at the time, Suzanne Haynes, an epidemiologist and senior science adviser for the department’s Office on Women’s Health, argued strongly in favor of promoting the new conclusions in the media and among medical professionals. But her office, which commissioned the report, was specifically instructed by political appointees not to disseminate a news release.”

The United States government PURPOSEFULLY and KNOWINGLY just tried to FUCK your kids.
I’m beyond full of rage. I am beyond upset. I am beyond writing a few letters. I’ll be contacting Rep. Henry Waxman of California, who is leading the committee looking into this, and I’m demanding -DEMANDING an apology from those in charge. I want assurances this never happens again and I want to know, from the f’ing President himself that they are actually trying to HELP my children, not harm them.

Politics just directly messed with my family. You can talk about education and politics and social services and politics-all very important. To me this really brings corruption in our government to a whole new level. This is HEALTH. THE HEALTH of the CHILDREN in this COUNTRY. The actual LIFE AND DEATH of millions of American kids.

I’m not being over dramatic. I’ve just HAD IT. I’m done sitting on the sidelines.

I won’t be painted as some crazy lactavist either. Now I’m a Mom who just watched Lobbiest SCREW families. ON PURPOSE. I’m not naive, I know this happens all the time up there in DC. But SWEET MOTHER OF GOD you just REPRESSED information that could SAVE children’s lives.

You’re going down. I’m going to make sure of it. The sick fucks in the formula industry and their Republican cronies are about to get a Queen style ass-whuppin.

This has nothing to do with “ability” to breastfeed or “what works for your family.” This is called PROPAGANDA from big business and I’m done tolerating it. Done.

queenofspainblog@yahoo.com is the email if you’d like to help plan.

I would like to see mothers of formula fed kids on here too. They snowed your asses as well and you should be pissed. This isn’t about breast vs. bottle. This is about the US government tricking you. Lying to you. And failing to serve you. Bowing to the almighty lobby and dollar at the COST OF YOUR CHILDRENS’ HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Don’t forget, they serve you. Make them do their fucking jobs.


Striking Fear in the Hearts of Men

Up until about 4-6 weeks ago, my daughter was nothing like me. She was sweet and quiet and shy. She picked flowers and sang to blue birds perched on her finger. Yes, the bluebirds harmonized with her.

I was confident she was going to be one of those sweet, nice, sunshine smile kind of girls. The kind and gentle voice of reason to her slutty, stupid girlfriends. Studious. Polite to a fault. Teachers pet. You’re getting the picture here, right?

Well, apparently at 2 1/2 years old she’s just NOW decided that halo-polishing baby I knew was just an act. We’ve entered classic terrible two territory with the “NO!” and “I DO IT MYSELF” but with a Princess Peanut Punk as Fuck TWIST-she’s got a hair flip, eyelash bat, head cock thing going on that scares the bejeeezus out of me.

She is going to CRUSH men. CRUSH them.

In the meantime, she’s crushing me. I tell her “no” and I get an “I want DADDY!” in response. I say “stop that right now” and I get a “NO Mommy” then she grabs my cheeks and kisses me on the lips. As if to say, “I’m not going to do what you say, but I’m cute and loving and I will at least give you a nice kiss before defying you, silly woman.”
I’m fucked.

Time outs are not working. Taking away toys seems to only fuel her evil. I took away a beloved baby and she said (and I’m not kidding here) “pffffffffffffft.” She pfffffft’d my punishment and walked away.

I keep reminding myself we went through this with Count Waffles, and he’s now a model citizen. I keep telling myself its just another phase and it will pass.

In all honesty, I’m not sure. The hair flip, head cock, eyelash bat thing-is beyond “phase.” Its possible I inadvertently taught her how to work a man. She’s using it against me. She’s using it against her father. She’s using it against the world.

I blame myself of course. I obviously showed her my wily ways. I didn’t realize she was soaking it in, but…there it is. OR, maybe its just in the DNA? She’s got some female Queen-gene that helps her pout her lips and lean her head on her father’s shoulder at JUST the right, somewhat evil, moment.

What I need to remember here is that I’M the Queen. I’m the ALPHA female in THIS house. I will not fear her. I will not give in to her. I’m not going to fold at a mere eyelash bat, sulk episode in my kitchen.

She can’t make me.

Missing: My Friend Erin

Hi guys,

This is Karen. Erin disappeared today into the world of Paxil Withdrawal. It’s has her by the balls. I wish I could be there to help with the kids, cook, clean, or simply put my arms around her and let her cry on my shoulder. I’ve been through Paxil withdrawal and it is ROYAL HELL.

Long time readers and friends know how amazing Erin is. She is the in-charge, in your face, into everything of substance kind of woman. A fighter. A passionate and caring person. A woman I am proud to call one of my very best friends.

The result of sleeplessness, resulting fatigue and too many tears:


Tell this beautiful Mama how much you love her. She needs to feel your internetty hugs and well wishes right now. I’m sure she will blog when she is ready.




My first playoff game EVER and we were late. LATE.

Not late like, “oh, we were just running a little late…” but late like “OH FUCK I CAN NOT HAVE ANOTHER BABY” late.

The shitty kind of late. The stuck in traffic for three hours kind of late that makes Queen and Kaiser lose all humor and nearly get divorced kind of late. The kind of late that can only be shown in photos:


Note the time on the clock-gametime was 6pm

1 block from the Pond and LOOK what stops us

Stuck in Traffic on the way to Game 3

Yes, I did nearly kill us twice as we made our way to Anaheim. At the time, it seemed worth it to get to my first Red Wing playoff game when the pucked dropped. Yes, we did get there in one piece and once we sat down enjoyed a fabulous game where my team beat the living SNOT out of those stupid ducks.

I heckled. I had decent beer. I made fun of all the goalies we pummeled. And I drove home without banging the steering wheel.

5-0 Wings. That helped.

Anyone want to buy me tickets for tomorrow nights game? I promise to get there on time. OR I can just be your date…whatever. I’ll totally put out.

Caption Contest

Let me get the ball rolling:

“Why Yes, Erin…I AM getting ass fucked by Satan RIGHT NOW!”


…sure, I wish his family my sympathies…but I hope if there is any justice in this world Jerry Falwell is rotting in hell. Right. This. Very. Second.

Fuck 4-year olds

I’m going to fucking kill my 4-year old. I say that as the woman who birthed him. I say that as his #1 fan. I say that as the woman on this earth who adores him more than any other.

I’m reading shit like, “Four-year olds: Wild and Wonderful” and “Try and Make Me! Simple Strategies that Turn Off the Tantrums and Create Cooperation” and “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12.”

Just the tiny fact that as his mother, I feel the need to read this shit pisses me off enough to just let him become a criminal. You’re acting in such a way I need to research how to deal with you? Oh hell no. Fuck that. I’m done.

Not really, but JESUS I want to ring his neck ala Homer and Bart. I bet choking him might actually make me feel better. But no. *of course I would never and I could never. So Instead I sit here with “A revolutionary new program for raising your DEFIANT child-without losing your cool.” Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Count Waffles the Terrible is hitting people. Everyone is a potential victim, not even small babies or his own Mommy can be shielded from the horror that is the closed-fisted WHAP he lays down like a hammer on anyone and anything. Take his truck kid at Gym Day Care? WHAP on your arm. Tell him he can’t have another cookie dear Mom? WHAP on the leg.

Today he hit two kids at the gym and yesterday he nailed some kid at school. So far taking away his most precious toys, time outs, tv time gone, etc has NOT worked. He sulks a bit and then LAUGHS (yes, it’s an evil laugh) at his punisher.

Thus the books, because if I don’t come up with something else soon, he’ll either really hurt someone or I will really hurt him. Or runaway. One of the two.

Suggestions are welcome. The books are already annoying me.

*rant over now.

My Hippo Ass, part 3

Once again it’s come to my attention I am STILL carrying the baby weight from Princess Peanut. Once again I am determined to do something about it. And once again, I have no doubt, I will fail miserably.

The weight from Count Waffles came off so much easier. Sure, I actually worked at it…but it DID fall off once I got going.
This time…um…not so much. There seems to be some sort of unwritten rule that your ass and stomach are NOT allowed to shrink after more than one child. One..sure, you can get your body back…two…forget it.

I could blame my stupid thyroid medication. I could blame that horrible Paxil that seems to keep me sane yet sends one bite of cake directly to my thighs. But who are we kidding…

I’m going to the gym.(**edit by way of Kaiser calling me out: I go to the gym occasionally and NOT on a regular basis) I’m not eating horrible. It’s not all salads and fat free rice cakes around here, but I’m not eating ice cream at midnight either. The baby weight just is NOT coming off. Can I even call it baby weight after 2 years? Is there some sort of rule, that after the baby is a year old, it’s officially YOUR fat?

All I know is, I walked in Santa Monica yesterday and felt like the frumpiest, fattest, most unsexy mother in California…who had trouble finding anything that fit in those great stores.

I am normally NOT some one who has self confidence issues…but lately, WOW…I think I’m willing to discuss plastic surgery, drugs, whatever. If only I could come up with a way to finance it…hmm….

I’m so tired of this. So tired of trying to get the weight off. So tired of caring. So very freaking tired of wondering when, if ever, I will get my body back. So tired of wondering when I will be able to get that super cute dress over my hips. So. Very. TIRED.

I’m in such a crappy mood over this…and I would LOVE to hear how you got your baby weight off. Because I totally give up.