I’m sitting at the kitchen table on my new laptop, as my children shriek on either side of me. I turn to “shush” them both, and I am mocked. Mocked.
“Shush!” I say, holding a finger to my lips. “Daddy is still sleeping!”
“Shush!” says the baby, holding a finger to her lips and laughing, hysterically.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!” she screams, in the way only baby girls can scream. The way that actually calls dogs from blocks away and shatters what is left of your right eardrum.
“Shush!” she says, once she stops the shriek. Putting a finger to her lip and again, laughing hysterically. Adding to the fun, her brother senses the pattern and joins in.
Great. A new game. Not the way I intended to start the morning.
On top of the entertaining and mind numbing scream and shush game, I’m cleaning up two plates of NOT eaten scrambled eggs. The ones the 3-year-old insisted he must have, over anything else, or he would simply die, right there on my wood floors. The ones I cleaned a pan to make. The ones I had to stir while I balanced a 16-month-old on my hip and quieted the dying 3-year-old on the wood floor with “just another minute…they are almost ready.”
Did I mention my coffee maker is broken? Big old crack in the glass bottom of the pot. So I’m trying to settle for tea. Tea. Motherfreaking tea. Where is Mocha when I need her?
But morning will eventually become afternoon. And there will be a nap, if I have to resort to cold medicine to get there.
Shut up. My kids actually have the sniffles AND I could make a case that they need Benadryl. And Mommy has important news to share later today, so I need the quiet blogging time.
All that bitching I do? Turns out I’ve got backup.
Stay tuned. The Queen fights for good and squashes evil, while she shaves her poon and blows her hubby. I’m a multitasker, what can I say.
My children are gamers like that too. The shush game is usually played when parents are on the phone.
Wow, tea? Seriously? Are you going to break out the crumpets next?
Tea. That is so sad. Truly. You have my coffee-stained sympathies.
NEWS? What news?
Wait. Suebob can bring me coffee!
Nevermind, I’ll just have to get off my ass to go get some.
Not tell news yet. Almost. But not yet. Very close. Very, very close.
LMAO mine died over PBJ and then threw it on the floor.
Needless to say it didn’t go over well with me…
News?
on the EDGE of my seat . . . c’mon!
I drugged Jack at 1AM this morning when I was crying I was so tired.
He was sniffly.
If you look, you can find some pretty strong tea that rivals coffee. I know – I’m a tea drinker.
Whenever I say “shhhhh!” to Cordy, she always screams louder. Every. single. time.
You still managed, despite all of the crazy morning antics, to hook me for your next post.
LOL… I know that scream very well. Little boys are good at it, too.
A little “Vitamin B” never hurt. 😉
Are you actually going to shave WHILE you blow him, because I think he’s being a bit TOO demanding if he insists you shave and blow him at the same time.
You run the risk of a nasty nick in a delicate area.
(and may I recommend the new five blade razor?)
Hmmmm….five blade, you say? I currently have the Quatro. And my vast (ha!) and engaging High School Spanish class taught me that is only 4 blades.
Someone really needs to be paying me to advertise their razor.
What kind of laptop did you purchase? I’ve been researching them for months. Can you give me some input?
And I think I know what this news is and I can tell you I’m excited for the announcement.
Oh…and be honest. How hard is two children vs. one? We had an oops moment on Wednesday (and you can read about it on my blog — I think YOU will get a kick out of it.) 🙂
The five blade is actually a four blade with an EXTRA blade on one side for, ahem, detail work…….
Brilliant. I need one.
Yeah it’s my snatch blade of choice when I’m not sporting the 70s porno bush.
I like to shake it up.