***I also blogged this at the Huffington Post***

The Kaiser says I shouldn’t be a slave to false consumerism. Or a sucker.

But I have a big, fat “L” on my forehead today.

Despite my fancy, brilliant plan to pre-order TMX Elmo, I got this:

Hello from

We are sorry to report that we will not be able to obtain the following
item from your order:
“TMX Elmo”

Though we had expected to be able to send this item to you, we’ve
since found that it is not available from any of our sources at this
time. We realize this is disappointing news to hear, and we apologize
for the inconvenience we have caused you
Dear Amazon,

You suck. I hate you. Thanks for nothing, bastards. What the hell does pre-order mean, anyway? Nothing, apparently.

Fuck you,


I have no idea why I am so mad about a toy my daughter doesn’t even know exists. I’m just mad I got sucked into the whole thing, I think.

But I’m sure I’d be happy had I gotten one. I suck. I suck. I suck. Say it with me Mommybloggers:

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

“I will not buy a TMX Elmo.”

Keep repeating until you believe it.


  1. I can promise you I won’t buy one. What the hell is a TMX Elmo? Never mind…I don’t really want to know. I hate Elmo. LOL

  2. Having seen a demo of this Elmo I can understand how you got so excited about it. Sorry you couldn’t get it from Amazon.

  3. well they suck anyways!! Grr, why the hell did they tell you that you could pre-order if you couldn’t!! Bastards!!

  4. I think I will find the strength to resist.

    I am currently revolting against amazon as a whole. They do suck, you are correct about that.

  5. I don’t even know (yet) what this Elmo does that is so fascinating, but I will repeat the mantra with you because we just don’t need any more crap in this house!

  6. I wasn’t going to buy one (or two) anyway, so I’m with you.

    I think it’s scary.

    Well, except for the one that speaks Spanish. That one is funny as hell. I’d buy that.

    For you.

  7. Maybe it’s for the best.

  8. We don’t really like Elmo here, but if I see a TMX Elmo, you can bet I’m picking it up. That little meal ticket will be up on eBay right after Thanksgiving to afford all that I want to get Cordy for Christmas. 😉

  9. don’t be a slave to false consumerism. is that redundant? just don’t. the elmo was for you. admit it. don’t buy anything with batteries unless you’re going to use it for your hot monkey sex. wait a minute . . . definitely do NOT buy TMX elmo – that’s gross . . .

  10. I am SO not going to buy one of those things. We’ve got a Tickle Me Elmo Suprise second hand from somewhere or other, and that thing is crazy enough. We don’t need two Elmos in this crazy house!

  11. LOL i saw a YOUTUBE thing showing what he does and he looks ANNOYING!! my son will never have one. EVER!!

  12. I really think that Amazon is the bad guy here and not Elmo.
    Does Amazon REALLY expect you to believe that there is product out there that they CAN’T get their hands on?
    I would get one but I can’t be bothered for toys I actually have to fight other adults for.
    My kids can have one when they are like 10.

  13. Dawson loves “Memmmo” as he calls him. But I don’t think he’d know the difference if he had a TMX or a BMX. So, I guess I’m with you. No Elmos here!

  14. I NEVER would have anyway. That packaging looks like it’s transporting the Muppet version of Hannibal Lecter. Seriously, I’m scared. And I’m not sure I know who you are any more. (cue dramatic soap opera music.)

  15. What’s a TMX Elmo???

    I’m sure it would annoy the shit out of me.

  16. Elmo is the devil.

  17. Getting the TMX says:

    If there is a KB Toys near you, you can go in and pre-pay and they will call you within the next 1-2 weeks when the order arrives. They are only taking a limited number of preorders.

  18. RE Tickle me elmo
    Proof that the USA is Evil

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