Just Chute Me

This mom purchased Chutes and Ladders today. Chutes and Motherfucking Ladders.

I’m 0-5 against the 3-year-old. Which wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t spinning to give me a “pity chute” and send himself back several spaces. I’d accuse him of cheating, but every so often he mistakes six for nine and two for five, so I’m guessing pulling a fast one on me might be beyond him.

The game was brought home from the store today because we are once again blanketed by smoke and stuck inside. That big fire you see on CNN? Yeah, that’s near here. Not near here in “holy shit we need to get the hell out of here” but near here in the “the smoke has been coming and going for weeks this is getting really annoying, not to mention the buzzing planes and helicopters freaking out the kids” here.

We’ve made homemade playdoh, watched movies, cooked, read a million books, and now we’re forced to play Chutes and Motherfucking Ladders.

I can only count so much.

Someone save me.



  1. let me tell you… i have NEVER EVER FUCKING WON A GAME OF THIS AGAINST BLAKE! he thinks it’s so fucking funny too.. but seriously, between this shit and candyland, i’m like 0-59480509349854

  2. Queen of Spain says:

    That’s not saving me Ster. That’s just giving me noooooooooooo hope. At all.

    Hope sucker.

  3. Maybe switch to Candyland?

    Being stuck inside all day would suck, especially when you’re losing all day to a three year old.

  4. Should have bought Hi-Ho Cherry-Oh instead… though the last time we played that, The Peanut Butter decided to eat one of the ‘cherries’…

  5. We flip between Chutes and Hi-ho Cherry-oh. Both get pretty mindless at our house b/c we ‘make up our own rules’.

    Essentially the game doesn’t end unless the 4 year decides it does.

  6. God, I can’t stand Chutes and Ladders. Nathan gets pissed off if I get ahead of him, or if he has to go down a chute.

    The fire looks scary. I always worry about my brother in law this time of year, he’s an engineer for the Fountain Valley Fire Department. Stay safe, hon.

  7. The husband taught the oldest one to say “Baby Need a New Pair of Shoes” every time he rolls dice in a game.
    Makes little kid board games have a bit of a different edge.
    I always wonder when Ashy Larry is going to walk in to join us.
    We’re totally getting a call from the teacher when he goes to school.
    At least Chutes and Ladders doesn’t have dice!

  8. You can go murder some more crabs, or is it getting crabs is murder. I’m confused. What were we talking about again?

  9. The dreaded bored, ummm… board, game.

    When the kids pull one out, I cringe.

  10. Not a fan of chutes and ladders. For games your son’s age have you tried any of the cranium games? HullabaIoo and cariboo are both fun.

  11. Oh I used to suck at that game. And when I got sent sliding down the ladder, my girls had a song especially for me, “Bye bye mommy – see ya later!”

    Oh, now I see why it’s called Chutes and Motherfucking Ladders.

  12. It’s much better as a drinking game. When you go up a ladder, assign a drink for the number of levels you go up. When you go down a chute, drink the number of levels you go down. When you forget to put on your “rubbers” and get a cold, you stay on the same level, but you finish your beverage. The 69 square is a social.

    Come to think of it, I haven’t played Chutes *since* the little guy was born.

  13. How about playing “Sorry” or “Trouble”. If a 3 y/o is beating you, you aren’t cheating enough:)

  14. sorry about the smoke. . . maybe you should order a Cootie. I always felt like I’d done something genuinely wrong when I had to go down a chute. . .

    I just found out that like half my coworkers never heard of hungry hungry hippos.

  15. I feel your pain!!! During a recent drive from Georgia to Kentucky, my 6 year old neice managed to trap me into a 1 hour long (yes you read that correctly) game of Chutes and Ladders. Finally I quit for the sake of my sanity.

  16. Would you remove me from your blogroll if I told you that I actually like Chutes and Ladders?

    You would?!

    Well, I fucking hate it, then.

  17. Never played. And don’t want to. But then, I’ve never been smoked-in. Hoping you can escape soon!

  18. Why don’t they just print that name on the box? Chutes and Motherfucking Ladders. It has a nice ring to it.

    At least you’re trying to keep things fun for your kiddos. I can’t imagine being stuck inside all day with 2 kids! Good luck! If I think of any fun ideas, I’ll let you know!

  19. I’m sorry you’re stuck inside and I sure hope that the helicopters take a hiatus from scaring the kids! I hope all is well with my Royal Family! 🙂

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