An Ode to the Missing Ralph’s World Girl

We didn’t even know your name.

You came into our lives, awkwardly dancing next to that long haired guy. You didn’t seem to sing. Or play an instrument. Or do anything but bounce a little.

Who were you? And where did you go?

Maybe Disney realized you looked pretty retarded just standing next to Ralph. Maybe the rest of the world was just as distracted as I was, not paying attention to Ralph’s songs and simply watching you randomly bounce on stage.

But it no longer matters. You are gone. Either taken out of every video digitally or simply removed from the entire filming process.

Are you sad? Are you sitting in some bar with Melanie from PBS Sprout, drinking scotch and damning the mothers of the world to hell?

Do you have some seedy past Disney just discovered? Or were you stricken with some strange disease, rendering you unable to jump and shake next to Ralph?

Should we send get well letters? Or petition Disney for your return?

Not that you did anything. I mean, you just stood next to Ralph. But whatever.

Come back. Ralph is far too boring and you were the comic relief I needed to get me through yet another viewing of “Lemonade.”


  1. I have no clue what you are tlaking about, woman. Link me up, please!

  2. Queen of Spain says:

    I’m trying to link. Word press won’t let me. It hates me.

    Try that. But the girl is GONE. GONE I say!

  3. I noticed that, too. Maybe she realized how lame Ralph was and left him?

  4. Queen of Spain says:

    seriously. stick ralph next to choo choo soul and he looks like a real wuss

  5. Seriously – is she gone from a video she USED to be in or is she just not in new videos?

  6. Queen of Spain says:

    BOTH. Playhouse Disney has been showing the 1 minute Ralph’s World songs and, at first, she was right there next to him…singing and bouncing along.

    Then I saw the same song days later and she was gone. And in all the new ones she is gone.

    Seriously. Somewhere, Melanie and Random Ralph’s World Girl are having a drink.

  7. that’s hilarious. and mysterious. it’s mystarious.

    my kids can sing the whole “m-o-m-m-y loves c-o-f-f-e-e” song. i like ralph enough to be proud of that.

  8. Sheesh…I need cable. I don’t have a clue who the missing girl is. And honestly, I’ve never heard of Ralph’s World and I have a toddler. When the hell did I become oblivious to kid tv shows?

    There’s a “mommy loves coffee song?” Honestly?

  9. I have been out of the loop too long to know about her… Spain can do that to bohemians you know…

    As for stopping eating, auricular acupuncture helps… I constantly need something in my mouth (and for the pervs out there, nope, not being offered to me so often damn bastard yet hot Scorpio husband! Dios mio!) and am a total licorice, candy, gimme, gimme, anything NOW addict and it helps… A LOT. Maybe when I am back and you come over you can give it a try! Funkified!

    As for sex and laughing… you had me laughing my ass off with that mention… I have sometimes wondered if other couples laugh and giggle and get hysterical during, to the point that not much else can be done… you are not alone sistah! Kindred boho freaks are alive, kicking and laughing away FO SHO!

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