I talked to the kids every day on the phone while I was in the hospital. They missed me, or so they said.
When I arrived home last night, the Count’s preschool class had helped him make me a sign and it was decorated in hearts-the symbol of love,or so I thought.
The Kaiser and the kids also made me a sign that seems to be colored with care and thoughtfulness, or so I thought.
As it turns out, not only were the kids TOTALLY FINE without me, it seems they were BETTER behaved and happy as clams minus el Mommo.
But it gets better, now that I am home and wanting to hug and squeeze my little bundles…they want nothing to do with me. I look scary, or so I am told. They are freaked out by my bandage and they would be even more freaked out if they caught a glimpse of the frankenmom stitches that are under that wrap.
I look like a gangsta mom that got cut. I look like someone tried to slit my throat. And so help me if anyone asks, I’m saying I tried to kill myself from the stress of two young children and a husband that wanted to PICK UP CO-EDS on the UCLA campus while I was being operated on.
He had the nurse in love with him in 2 minutes. She gave him one of those cool scrub hats to aid in his co-ed hunt. And we all figured the pick up line “hey, my wife is undergoing surgery, got a few minutes?” was a winner.
The only silver lining going on here is I have mass amounts of pain killers and actual real money coming in from my Second Life real estate ventures…which I will tell you more about later.
Just to review: the kids won’t come near me, I look like frankenmom, the Kaiser is picking up Co-Eds, and I hurt.
Boy, my vicoden-laced blog posts are going to be f-u-n. I may even skip the spell checking, you know…to keep it real.
Am I allowed to giggle here? Because you always make me laugh, even after you’ve had surgery and you’re in pain and writing drugged blog posts. Sorry about the kids – but hey, now you know you can hire a full-time babysitter and do whatever you want and they’ll be fine! The Kaiser is very short-sighted if he thinks you won’t be on your feet and slapping him around again soon. Wait, what am I saying, he can’t WAIT for that! He’s just feeding the fires so he’ll get a REALLY good spanking when you’re up to the task. Am I right?
Welcome home homegirl. The peeps are gon’ be all up in your crib laterz so be ready with the juice and the snacks. Sorry the rats aren’t all up in yo’ grill, lovin’ on you and such, but they will come around. Fo shizzle, mah weeble.
Peace.
K-dawg
*fist to the chest*
Dear Kaiser,
Spoil her rotten.
Aww sweetie, I think you look amazing, and not at all like someone who just had surgery, except for the bandage, of course. Those posters are so sweet, and those kids had better be loving on you like you deserve!
Kaiser, you bum, spoil that wife of yours! Aren’t you old enough to be the much-older-brother of those coeds?
Take care. All the best.
Kids always act the best when mom isn’t around. It’s so unfair.
Enjoy the drugs.
Wait, you’re making real money from a virtual world? How does that work?
Dear QofS –
As your loyal subject I must insist that you refrain from flipping me off. All will be forgiven if you share.
Respectfully your’s,
D2T
Remember to try to keep some of the vicoden for non injury related emegencies later……you never know!!!
Dios mio what I have missed by being away from the blogosphere! I am all caught up and so, so, SO happy to hear you are doing well my dear friend… I cannot even begin to imagine what you have gone through and happy that the worst part of it all is over now!
Thinking of you and seding you all the positive thoughts I can muster!
IF you slip the Kaiser some vicodin his wang won’t work on those co-eds. And that’ll teach him.
About the scar, tell people that you got into an altercation with Sugg Knight. Totally believable in LA.
Just slip the kiddies some vicoden….they’ll be more compliant:)
Don’t kid yourself, co-eds got nuthin’ on you and the Kaiser knows it. Great pick up line though….think I’ll have to try it.
Get to feeling better, Queenie.
I am glad you are back and healing up. Don’t forget vicoden and vodka…. to ease up on the husbands co-ed seeking ways.
Tell people it was pirates that slashed your throat. I always wanted to say that to someone with mine, but never actually did. People never asked, just stared until I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to ignore them staring, or try to explain what happened, or what.
I hope you start feeling better very soon! Let me know if you need anything!
OOooh, Baby. Just stay on top of the pain meds. How can you feel so bad when your hair is so glorious? I would almost have surgery for that hair. Almost. I’m not crazy.
For ralz, yo! I agree wif K-dawg. We be missin’ our hustlin’ Queen. Here’s the dizzle: we bringin’ some dranks up in herr, you down?
Or will pain medication and al-cho-huh-shizzle be too much?
Pain meds. YEAH.
Isn’t there an old ghost story about a woman with a black ribbon around her neck? And her head eventually fell off and rolled away when someone was stupid enough to take off the ribbon? Seems like there might be something to play with there…
Glad your finger’s ok. Looks pretty perky, actually.
Happy healing.
I came by via Kelly’s site.
WOW! You must have been on vicoden when you said you wanted to F Prince! I had to stop by after that comment!
The scar will give you street cred with the homies, or you should make your husband cover it with “Diamonds and Pearls.”
🙂
That photo itself says “keep it real.”
Three years after having my thyroid removed and I still claim my husband did it to me.
The scar isn’t that noticeable now but boy did I get looks after the bandage came off and the bruises were all over my neck. It seriously looked like I had been strangled and then had my throat slit because that didn’t work.
I feel for you and your pain, your bad-ass co-ed hunting man and your scared of Franken-mom kids… but man! – this whole post and the comments have made me wet my pants laughing…
So happy you are on the road to recovery.
🙂
See you in SL soon.