My Hippo Ass, part 3

Once again it’s come to my attention I am STILL carrying the baby weight from Princess Peanut. Once again I am determined to do something about it. And once again, I have no doubt, I will fail miserably.

The weight from Count Waffles came off so much easier. Sure, I actually worked at it…but it DID fall off once I got going.
This time…um…not so much. There seems to be some sort of unwritten rule that your ass and stomach are NOT allowed to shrink after more than one child. One..sure, you can get your body back…two…forget it.

I could blame my stupid thyroid medication. I could blame that horrible Paxil that seems to keep me sane yet sends one bite of cake directly to my thighs. But who are we kidding…

I’m going to the gym.(**edit by way of Kaiser calling me out: I go to the gym occasionally and NOT on a regular basis) I’m not eating horrible. It’s not all salads and fat free rice cakes around here, but I’m not eating ice cream at midnight either. The baby weight just is NOT coming off. Can I even call it baby weight after 2 years? Is there some sort of rule, that after the baby is a year old, it’s officially YOUR fat?

All I know is, I walked in Santa Monica yesterday and felt like the frumpiest, fattest, most unsexy mother in California…who had trouble finding anything that fit in those great stores.

I am normally NOT some one who has self confidence issues…but lately, WOW…I think I’m willing to discuss plastic surgery, drugs, whatever. If only I could come up with a way to finance it…hmm….

I’m so tired of this. So tired of trying to get the weight off. So tired of caring. So very freaking tired of wondering when, if ever, I will get my body back. So tired of wondering when I will be able to get that super cute dress over my hips. So. Very. TIRED.

I’m in such a crappy mood over this…and I would LOVE to hear how you got your baby weight off. Because I totally give up.


  1. And the silence echoed…

    I’m way behind you, darlin’, I never even tried to get the baby weight off the first time because I knew I wanted to have a second child – SUCH a bad attitude, I know. So now I’ve got about 20lbs. extra and my body is just so misshapen. I have hope that it will come off but still haven’t even tried. And I *do* eat ice cream at midnight. NOT good.

    Yesterday when I got out of the shower Sweet Pea played a drum solo on my belly and giggled because she loved the way it jiggled. She kept saying so. I can feel it jiggle when I run up the stairs. I am so grossed out by my own body right now!

  2. I haven’t. Two and a half years later, I’m still carrying baby weight, fat weight, married weight, and every other type of weight one can think of.

    I go to the gym 5 days a week. I’m on Weight Watchers. I lose a few pounds, gain a few pounds, lose, gain, lose gain. It’s a vicious freakin’ cycle. And I don’t eat that terribly either.

    I’ve been struggling with this for YEARS. It’s to the point that I’ve actually thought of stapling my mouth shut.

    I’ve lost inches, but not pounds. Figure that crap out. It can’t all be muscle.

    My trainer at the gym, who I pay big bucks to work out with, tells me to lift more weights than cardio. I don’t know if I believe him yet, but if I don’t lose some weight soon, I’m jumping off the Clark Street bridge.

  3. Wish I knew the secret. Probably requires work and all. I just don’t have the energy left at the end or the beginning of the day.

  4. I wish I knew. I think you might still be able to call it baby fat after two years. But eight years later, I’m still trying to blame it on my kids. In that time, the only thing that helped me lose any weight (and it happened fast) was training for a marathon. Then, as soon as I stopped running. WHOOOOSH! It all came back on. So I’m trying it again. The marathon running part. And if I have to keep running marathons for the rest of my life to keep the fat at bay, then so be it.

  5. I wish I knew as well for if I had the secret, it would be a secret no longer! But I fear, my ass is as large as yours, the hippo ass!lol

  6. I felt that way forever after my last baby. Then I trained for a triathlon, got thyroid cancer and lost all the weight. I don’t know which one did it, the triathlon thing or the cancer thing, but I would be willing to bet it was the cancer because now that I am healthy, I keep gaining weight back. Good luck, and if you discover some magic trick, please share!

  7. I haven’t had my second baby yet so maybe I will be in the same dilemma as you are in right now. Hopefully Mari Windsor’s Accelerated Body Workout DVD (Pilates) will work for me once again and now maybe for you? I used this DVD for one hour a week. Good luck!

  8. Eat only 800 calories a day and work out 2 hours a day.

    I didn’t do this.

    I chose to stay chubby, you’ve SEEN me right?

    But, it’ll work……

  9. sigh. its called the great metabolic shift.

    I had #1 at 35, and #2 at 39. I am now 44 and I have no metabolic rate. I think it has just stopped. So. five years later and not much change.

    The only time I reeeaaalllly lost weight was when i went on a stupid diet or got hideously ill.

    Now. Well, I stil weigh more than I would like to, and my jeans don’t fit exactly the way I would hope.

    But. i work out. Alought. Better than Paxil. Endorphins rock. Better than ice cream at midnight. Well almost better than ice cream at midnight.

    Try try your hardest not to look at numbers. Just get your booty to the gym and you will feel and look better. I promise.

  10. I am here to say that I think you are totally hot and a really beautiful size. So there.

  11. The first time? Walking at least an hour every morning – making myself go at 9 a.m. when it was still cool enough to enjoy it and the baby was in a good mood. Plus if you make it a certain time, you stick to it. Got any buddies who would walk with you?
    Secondly, a bowl of healthy cereal after chugging 12 ounces of water upon waking up, then every 2 hours have SOMETHING healthy – an apple, whatever.
    I dropped 40 pounds in 3 months doing this. Yes, I hated it, yes it was hard, but do it for 17 days and it will become habit. Unless of course you replace this with anorexia and caffeine – definitely not a good plan, but also works. heh.
    (That last part was tongue in cheek and you know it.)
    Good luck, you hot sexy bitch. xoxo

  12. Hey woman! I am not a mommy – as you know, but sitting on my ass for 13 years in front of a computer for 10-12 hours a day hasn’t helped. I recently started using this website

    It’s really helped me a lot, but you have to be dedicated to updating and keeping track, which is easy for me since my job requires I be handcuffed to the computer, anyways. I also, did an experiement. I placed 8 bottles of water on my desk. Do you know how difficult it is to drink that much water a day? But, once I got 4 down before lunch, I realized I wasn’t starving like I usually am…the trick actually works!

    I think you looked fabulous on my Bday anyways and I hope!!! you, me, the kaiser, peanut and waffles can hang out soon!

    p.s. I had a blast with waffles and peanut at the canals btw, soooo much fun!

  13. I don’t know. I haven’t had any kids and I always envy these women who have four and are somehow a size 2. I’ve never really been toned, but in the last year I really got flabby. And I’m starting to think that maybe it’s OK. So I’m not perfect. I’m healthy enough. Really, there are worse things in the world than bulging out of your pants, right? Right? I keep trying to convince myself of this. One day, it might work.

  14. I did great after my 1st but plummeted after the last two. **sigh** 4 years ago I weighed 235lbs and had no clue how! I finally managed to get to 190 within about 4 months. Now I’m stuck between 175-185. It sucks. I’ve decided to start a serious effort to work out and watch what I eat, but it’s so hard to do on my own. Especially when Prince Charming has a high metabolism and can eat whatever he wants and not gain anything 🙁

  15. I don’t think very much of my baby weight will ever go away (four kids,) but I started doing yoga five or six days a week and even though I’m not losing pounds, I’m in way better shape and I am learning to live with my body as it is. I think, realistically, that’s the best it’ll get for me.

  16. Hey, Erin, not to totally pimp myself, but I started a new blog that might have some info along these lines. I’ve lost 60 pounds – all of it baby weight, and my oldest is 15.

    Come on over – I promise the water is nice….

  17. diets don’t work, sweetie. you’ve got to make small changes in your life over time that you can stick to without feeling like you’re denying yourself or starving to death…

    and you’re not a hippo.

  18. You sad loser get a job to spend your free time in.



  20. ???

  21. YummyMummyUK says:

    I was a very muscular 157. My boy is now 11 months almost. And I am 215. I wish I was dead a lot of the time. I used to have such a lovely body. If only I’d allowed myself to appreciate it then. I am 26 and feel my life is over because without my looks the world will consider me worthless and laughable. I feel so alone. Thanks for letting me say all this! XX

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