September 10, 2007
Going Gray
I found my first gray hair.
On my va jay-jay.
Not on my HEAD like a normal person. No, Queen goes gray down there. Fantastic.
Just call me grandma crotch.
Admittedly I noticed this awhile ago, but i thought it was a fluke. I thought one, odd hair sprouted up in between waxing sessions and it would never be seen again.
I’m due for a wax and I now have THREE gray crotch hairs. THREE. 1.2.3.
What if my vag goes gray and my hair stays normal? I mean, totally dying my hair on my head anyway…but NOT the point.
I’m really unsure how I feel about this. Getting a gray hair is supposed to be a little unsettling, sure. I’m 32. Gray hairs will occur.
I just wasn’t expecting it to be on my vagina.
Does this mean I have an old crotch? What does this say about me?
All I know is all three of those puppies are coming out on Friday and with any luck, and many, many waxing sessions, they will be never seen again. Ever. Ever. Never. Ever.
If I didn’t wax, what would I do? Grow OLD IN THE CROTCH gracefully?
Just going to get waxed and try not to think about it.
Or going to melt down and have a midlife crisis. Can you have a midlife crisis at 32?? Over a graying crotch?
Guess we’ll find out.
Posted by Queen of Spain @ 12:51 pm • Royal Vagina, kill me now
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September 10th, 2007 at 12:56 pm, the kaiser Says:
It just means I’m going to have to get used to eating the early bird special. This may be my first ever moderated comment. Thanks. Thank you very much.
September 10th, 2007 at 1:14 pm, Mrs. Chicky Says:
I had a smart ass comment about how in the dark all pussies are gray, but then I read your husband’s comment and now I have to go clean splattered ice coffee off my laptop screen.
September 10th, 2007 at 1:34 pm, Shash Says:
Yet another reason I love your hubby - his sense of humor!!!!
32 and going gray? I’m 36. Maybe I’ll have the hubby check when he gets back from Alabama. Could be fun!
Shash
September 10th, 2007 at 2:54 pm, Suzanne Says:
I guess that’s as good a reason as any for subjecting yourself to a snatch wax.
Seriously, I don’t mind if my head or cooter hairs go gray, it’s my chin hairs that freak me out. Sigh.
September 10th, 2007 at 6:10 pm, tori Says:
Your husband rocks. His comment is perfect.
September 10th, 2007 at 6:21 pm, Lara Says:
rock on, kaiser.
September 10th, 2007 at 7:34 pm, Christina Says:
Can your va-jay-jay be older than you? Would that be based on use or something?
If it makes you feel any better, my husband found his first grey pube hairs when he was 26. I’m not sure what that means, and don’t think I want to speculate, either.
September 10th, 2007 at 7:51 pm, Misty Says:
There is truly a hair dye for your pubes!
http://www.bettybeauty.com/ You won’t need it if you wax, but hey, there is an alternative:) I suggest the pink. LOL!
September 10th, 2007 at 8:16 pm, Miz BoheMia Says:
Don’t depress me WOMAN! I started going gray, oh so slowly, on my head, at 20… after the first kid let me just say that if I don’t dye the damn roots I look like a godamn grandma… at 32!
As for down there, one but I ain’t looking NO MO between brazilians… ignorance is bliss as far as the vah-jay-jay goes… but after your post, I am having my doubt… before I was happy go lucky and feelin’ young but now…
*SOB*
September 11th, 2007 at 9:22 am, MsRebecca Says:
Holy crap! Thought it was just me, one stray, burly lookin’ thing, I thought maybe it was a cat hair, or maybe somethin’ from Santa’s beard? Well.. lemme see.. I don’t own a cat and it’s almost Halloween , no Santa in sight… So… plucked the s.o.b. and 1 month later, his brothers showed up! Arrggghhh!!!
September 11th, 2007 at 8:24 pm, Meg Says:
OMG Erin, you kill me. I just about spit Pepsi all over the keyboard when I was reading this!
September 12th, 2007 at 6:48 am, christine Says:
A granny crotch … a grotch?
I was watching a news thing a few weeks back, on how 35 (my age) is the “turning point” in fertility … how it is the “defining age” … blah, blah, blah.
What they were really saying is that your eggs have had their hay-day, and they will slowly just rot away within you until you die at this point. They kept flashing the number “35″ across the screen with very macabre music playing in the background.
Yup. They are grotches, now!
September 12th, 2007 at 8:22 am, Jenifer Says:
Well, men go gray in the facial hair first so I guess women go gray….elsewhere first?
With my red hair I am hoping to just go “blond” gracefully. I can wish I guess!
September 13th, 2007 at 12:18 pm, Go Read It Today, Thursday, September 13, 2007 Says:
[...] had me at Grandma Crotch. absolutelybananas, andthepursuitofhappiness, daringyoungmom, ellinetha, go read it today, grit, [...]
September 13th, 2007 at 4:28 pm, Wendy Piersall Says:
OMFG I needed to laugh this hard today! Hysterical!
September 13th, 2007 at 6:10 pm, MammaLoves Says:
And this is why I opt for the brazillian.
September 29th, 2007 at 1:46 am, R B Says:
Late response but whatever.
I think it’s very common for the pubes to start first.
Also, my friend used to bleach and dye her pubes hot pink, which is pretty cool. She got a horrible urinary tract infection from it once though.
October 7th, 2007 at 8:46 am, Chris Says:
Why does this remind me of that HORRIBLE Just For Men hair color commercial where the sports commentators say “Awwww No Play for Mr. Gray”?
btw, the Kaiser rocks!