Getting Pantsed

I arrived home from Vegas a few hours ago and have been in a death grip by the 2.5 year old.

When Mom goes away, death grips are administered for a good week upon her return. They tend to pant me when their little hands grip my sweats…but other than that, they are usually harmless.

So basically I was pulled from the almost surreal whirlwind that was BlogWorld Expo and total concentration on Photrade.com and the social media community ( feeling like I can’t even say my “bloggy” friends anymore) and given no transition time to even unpack before I was laying my daughter down in her bed and pulling her hands from her pull-up because she fell asleep grabbing her crotch.

Some women have a hard time shutting off the Madonna and turning into the whore, not me. I have a hard time shutting off the Hillary and turning into Mrs. Cleaver. One minute I’m conquering the world, and the next I’m under a bunk bed frantically trying to retrieve a lost Elmo.

I wonder if my decision to stay at home with the kids wasn’t only for the benefits, but because I have a hard time focusing and concentrating on them and ANYTHING else…be it work or otherwise. They scatter my head. They scatter just about everything…but also my head…and I also wonder if I’m capable of doing anything SMALL. For those who know me…it’s balls out all the time, and I go big or go home. Queen goes big. I’m not content with a little gig here or there, I launch companies, found virtual conferences, host “firsts” and create waves. Waves that leave little ones grabbing for the side of the boat from the wake.

As they get older and I work more, I find myself throwing myself into projects and neglecting my Mom role and then throwing myself into MOM and neglecting my projects. It’s a constant battle that results in death grips on a crazy, laptop carrying lady, pants to her ankles, towing kids.

Balancing work and home sucks. Balancing with pants around your ankles sucks. Of course my mind automatically wanders to more family friendly companies, conferences (thanks for the babysitting BlogHer) and a good kick in the ass of the attitudes of some professionals and colleagues I know…god knows I love me a good Queen smack down…but all of that sounds like another project for another time.

Right now I’m tired. I really need to pull up my pants, release the death grip on these sweats, and get us all some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I’ll activate my world domination plan while I knit and read blogs.