I Feel Bad For Lynne Spears

Maybe I’m having a weak moment. I don’t know, but everyone is slamming this woman now that we all know her 16-year old (ala Zoey 101’s) Jamie Lynne Spears is knocked up.

They film that up here by me. The Spears contingent is in town a lot.

The Mom of Britney and Jamie Lynne is being torn to shreds because it would appear both her little darlings are total fuck-ups. Ouch. Ok, so Lynne was in the midst of writing a parenting book, and apparently the publisher is known for “inspirational books and Bibles”- so you know there won’t be any 16-year olds heading to Planned Parenthood in this family.

As I sit here today and watch everyone on daytime tv slam the Mom, and around the blogosphere, etc. I’m wondering at what point we get to be upset with Britney and Jamie Lynne. Sure, 16 is young…crazy young-but not unheard of in 2007. My Mom was pregnant with me at 18. Go on over and talk to Kelly (aka Mocha Momma) about teen pregnancy.

Let’s add in these are two celebrity kids. Drug use and criminal activity is one thing, but your daughters procreating like bunnies, while not exactly responsible, isn’t really the end of the world here.

I’m by no means absolving parents of responsibility here. I just wonder how much we really know about Lynne Spears and her parenting tactics. The bottom line is: we don’t know shit. She might be the total church-going, supportive, doing-the-best-she-can kinda mom.

I don’t know about you, but I was having sex by 16. Something CERTAINLY could have happened. I can’t say my parents didn’t teach me all the things I needed to know and I didn’t have a solid foundation when it came to sex and responsibility. No excuses there. They told me. I knew.

Birth control still could have failed. I could have had a ‘moment’ of passionate irresponsibility. We alllllllllllllll could have.

So while I’m not ready to pat Lynne on the back and tell her “hey, good job!” I’m certainly not going to bitch like some crows circling overhead. We’re all Moms here. We’ve all fucked up. We’ve also all had sex, and sometimes rather irresponsibility.

Yeah, I feel bad for Lynne Spears. I hope everything works out, because her daughter is going to need support and that family needs to be stronger than it appears splashed all over the rags at the grocery store.

Frankly I’m finding all the blog laughing and pointing fingers and being snarky about a 16-year old getting pregnant rather high school. It’s the holidays after all, and I don’t care WHO this family is or HOW much money they have, babies are never easy. They aren’t easy for me under the best of circumstances at 33-years-old and certainly can’t be easy for a teenage.

Keep shaking your heads and making your jokes if you want, personally I think you need to shut up and grow up.

Comments

  1. I haven’t been able to get up in arms yet about this. 16 used to be standard for pregnancy (and even marriage) – she was about to move in with the boyfriend (she didn’t get knocked up in the bathroom at a bar) – AND the family can afford a nanny. It’s not like she’s a single mother with no family and poor as a churchmouse. If this was a “normal” girl in high school she would just be shunned – I would love if JL Spears took this opportunity to become a spokeswoman for young mothers. (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

  2. Hear! Hear!

    My dad (the Baptist minister) and my mom (world’s most sacrificial person on the planet) have dealt with sooooooooo many issues with us kids (man of the Spears-family variety).

    It’s not because they didn’t parent well. It’s because we used our own brains (or lack thereof) to do something stupid. What makes them great parents is that we knew exactly where to turn when things went south.

  3. I love this post so much! I agree with everything you wrote. I feel badly that people feel the need to point fingers. I am sure if we examined the finger pointer’s lives so closely they would come out perfect, right?

  4. THANK YOU!

    Well said.

  5. I don’t know what to think about this. I hope that she handles herself better than big sister. I hope that she takes her baby back home where she can give it a “normal” family life like she wants to. I hope that she takes care of herself and her child. More than anything else, I hope she is the exception to what everyone thinks will happen. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, lets hope that she uses it for more than just her pretty face.

  6. And her pregnancy gives us an opportunity to speak to our children about the repercussions of their decisions.

    The one I’m most concerned about is that baby. What chance, if any, for a normal life does it have?

  7. Excellent, excellent post.

    A GREAT eye opening post Erin!!

  8. I read about it and thought, “so what?” I mean, yes, it is a big deal in her life, and she probably should have made different decisions considering everything, but she didn’t, and now she is growing up quickly and learning to deal with it. I don’t feel bad for her, nor do I think her mom did a horrible job of raising her (based on any incident that has been in the media). Bad decisions are just that…and their consequences are life lessons!

  9. I’m sorry, but I just can’t accept that Lynn doesn’t get the brunt of the bad-words on this one. Yes, Britney is a screw up of epic proportions (I know meth addicts that seemingly care about their offspring more then Britney does about her sons), and Jamie has made an error in birth-control judgment that any 16 year old can make. However, how many mothers would have let both of their daughters get so far out of control, so far into show business that they have quite possibly permanently screw up their lives?

    At the very least, after watching Britney tumble into the abyss I wouldn’t have let my FIFTEEN year old daughter move in with her boyfriend 3 years her senior. Lynn has a big problem – it’s called using your kids as a meal ticket. It’s better to be dirt poor raising your kids in a trailer in LA then have your children mess up not only their lives but those of their offspring.

  10. I have to respectfully disagree, and it has nothing to do with me either shutting up or growing up, either.

    I think we SHOULD talk about this. I think this is a good jumping off point for many families of boys and girls to discuss the consequences of sex early on and the ramifications of it. Many years ago this situation would be kept hidden. This is also a great discussion point about youth, celebrity, risks and how in an instant everything you may have worked your life for (celebrity, a steady job) can go up in smoke.

    I don’t feel sorry for Lynne Spears. I think she will be just fine, as will Jamie Lynn, ultimately. I’m just not surprised about this announcement, and I’d be lying if I wasn’t a little disappointed, but because we are a 24hour media world, we know more about the Spears family than all of us probably should.

    No, babies are never easy, whether you are 16 or 33. Jamie Lynn has a long road ahead of her. I hope she rises above all of this and I think she will. I pray she will.

    And I hope we’re still friends, even though I disagree with you, ever so slightly.

  11. Queen of Spain says:

    Let me clarify-I think we should be discussing this respectfully. What I have HUGE issues with are some Momblogs out there being nasty and snarky and making judgements against Lynne Spears and her parenting. I’m not linking to them here, but I think as mothers the nastiness I read today was uncalled for and frankly rather holier than though, if you get my drift. I don’t know about you guys but I’ve fucked up PLENTY with my kids.

  12. Queen of Spain says:

    Which reminds me Logan Levkoff will be on Good Morning American tomorrow (author of my favorite book Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be)on how we can use this as a discussion start off point with our kids.

    Important stuff.

  13. I have no issue with teen pregnancy and I do hope Jamie-Lynn gets all the support she needs. Britney is a train wreck because she is a drug addicted, mentally ill woman who also needs help. She clearly displays characteristics of a bi-polar or someone with borderline personality disorder. She’s an overgrown child who needs professionals to intervene.

    Lynne Spears was not the bane of negativity simply for allowing her daughters to travel down these paths. Sure, some people might be saying that and I think they are idiots for simplifying it to just that.

    My HUGE problem with Lynne Spears is 100% completely valid and it’s this: What kind of mother calls up OK Magazine to SELL A STORY of her 16 year old landing in a situation where the child is scared?

    The woman has exploited both daughters and I take serious issue with that. Not the acting, not the singing, not even the “Britney image,” it’s the blatant tell-all-to-whatever-publication-will-give her the highest payoff. Period. She’s disgusting and her priorities are way off.

    Kids fuck up. Parents fuck up. I totally get that. But selling their stories (and future stories – OK Magazine paid $1 million for the baby pictures exclusive) when they need to you to support them, love them and protect them from the sharks in the media? Totally wrong.

    I’m pissed at Moms who are whining about having to pull Zoey 101 from their living rooms. I’m pissed that these same Moms are putting so much stock in a frigging television starlet to be a role model to our kids. That saddens me. My role models were not stars — they were friend’s mothers, my grandmothers, aunts and cousins. Not Debbie Gibson or The Bangles.

    This should open up discussion (as it did in our house last night as I broke the story on Famecrawler when I told my 9 year old). We talked about how it happens, how to prevent it, how to deal with it if it happens and it was a very open and frank discussion — one of many that will happen in this house I’m sure.

    Don’t feel sorry for Lynne — think about Jamie, Britney and their babies — those children (and they all are still very much children in my eyes) are the ones who need more education, support, protection and love.

  14. Sorry for the novel – yeesh! 🙂

  15. I was just surpised that my 8 y/o knew about this last night before I did.

    Come to think of it….I hope he didn’t have anything to do with the conception 😉

  16. Oh yay! I’m glad someone said it! Lay off the celebs for once and go live your life.

    and wow…how cool that Brittany’s own personal psychologist came to your blog to tell us all of the mental disorders she is diagnosed with! Because only a qualified therapist who is actually counseling a person can tell us what Brittany’s true mental problems are. It’s great to have an inside scoop!

  17. I commend Jaimie for taking time to think things through. I read that she said she took 2 weeks to herself and thought about what she wanted to do before telling anyone. That is very mature, and I think she is going to be OK.

    I started having sex when I was 16 also, and my mother was a teen mother at 18 and had to drop out of high school.

    You just never know.

  18. Bravo.

    Good parents raise kids who do stupid things.

    Although if that whole “selling your kid’s story to the highest bidder” thing is true.. well… that is not good parenting. Period.

  19. Hey Queen of Shake Shake – lay off. One of my jobs is reporting celebrity news and I read WAY more crap about Britney than I care to, and have knowledge of things she has done that all point to those two disorders, both of which I am extremely familiar with. So keep your snotty comments to yourself.
    Christ.

  20. I do tend to think that Lynne exploited and pushed both of her daughters. One of my friends had a child at 16, doubled her courseload, graduated a year early and eventually went to college and last i heard, finished her master’s. A pregnancy at 16, especially in a situation with emotional and financial support which Jamie Spears likely has, is not the end of the world.

    I would not go as far to say that I feel sorry for Lynne Spears–I do find it a little ironic that she was writing a parenting book–but I also cannot understand why so many people are all in a lather over this story.

  21. wow – Karen’s got some nerve telling you to lay off on YOUR BLOG! geez.

    A little warped? A lot snarky.

  22. whoops – jumping to the defense of QoS and not reading thoroughly – I blame it on the 3 Canadian beers – this stuff is like moonshine.

    (sorries)

  23. It happens everywhere, teenage pregnancy.. no matter what your races or religions are.

    We can’t blame Jamie, Lynn … thats their destiny. Thats the path she (Jamie) takes. Just pray for her, hope she will go through all this with ease and patients (about the critics etc).
    Lynn her mom will be there for I’m sure of it. She will give Jamie moral supports.

  24. I’m just sick of the story already. The media has blown it up and it’s become tiresome. The thing I’m most upset about is that Britney and Jamie Lynn don’t take their public “role model” status very seriously. I know there’s nothing we can do about that, I know they’ve made mistakes, but why are we so quick to make excuses for their behavior?

    At sixteen years old, I was informed about sex. I was informed about birth control. I was informed about how difficult it would be to become a teen mother if I chose to have sex (protected or not). I was informed about the consequences of my actions if I decided to throw caution to the wind and jump into bed with a boyfriend. I don’t think there is a good excuse for any teen to get pregnant.

    I understand it happens. In my senior year of high school, 7 out of 15 of the friends I hung out with had a baby in high school, so I don’t think I have any right to be judgemental. However, I don’t think we should look away either. What kind of lesson do we want to teach other teens?

    Are there any other teen celebrities that have been teen moms? Is Jamie Lynn the first? I might have to google this.

  25. /applause Very well said, Honey. Thank you.

  26. Frank Wunder says:

    I know I’m a few years late in reading your blog but you are a stupid cow and instead of saying “well we all make mistakes and do stupid things” how about take a stand for mothers being mothers and not allowing their kids to do stupid things just because what you did or didn’t do when you were their age.

    I think if more parents acted like parents and not friends to their kids maybe, just maybe some of the problems that trouble our culture would begin to decline.

    No thanks to dumb cows like you. I’m glad my mom told me to me my face to wait until I was married to procreate as she didn’t want me to have to face regrets later in life. Thinking before acting and not doing something just because it “feels” good has saved me a lot pain.

    Boom shaka.

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