Mom Gone Mad

So I’m having it out with Dad Gone Mad. I can do that, he’s my friend. So don’t be getting any ideas that we hate each other or something. We’re friends that can agree to disagree and go back and forth and get nasty but still respect each other.

He’s being a big girl and wants Nickelodeon to take Zoey 101 off the air. He’s also against them airing any sort of special on teen pregnancy. Why? I’ll let him tell you:

“There was a report by the Associate Press yesterday that announced Nickelodeon was considering a special program on its air about teen pregnancy. I nearly puked.

Fact: teen pregnancy is real.

Fact: kids need to know what this girl did was stupid, irresponsible, and ruinous.

Fiction: that message should be delivered on a television show.

I went to a state university. I’ve had a mental illness. But this is what I want.

I want Nickelodeon – a channel that markets itself toward children to take a fucking stand.

I want them to announce that they have canceled this show, and I want them to say they did so because their audience is children and Ms. Spears’ behavior does not reflect the image they want those children to see.

I want them to say that parents who wish to speak to their children about this issue can log onto a website where they can find resources and strategies written by professionals.

In my view, that would be the decent thing to do.

I do NOT want this girl to be lambasted, nor do I want to see her mother publicly humiliated. Her daughter is not the only pregnant teenager in America.”

Danny, Danny, Danny. This makes me want to kick you in the nads. Why? Let’s read Erin’s comment in Danny’s post:

“Alright I realize we’ve been around and around on this already..but here goes anyway:

You’re all fucking crazy. Stick your heads in the sand some more and shun 16 year olds for irresponsible sex. Oh, wait…it’s the 16 year old GIRL we’re shunning. Nice message asshats.

So you’re fine with Bratz commercials because HEY, that’s just subliminal. Yet when they offer to tackle the subject with discretion and age appropriateness you get all up in arms? What the hell? If the sex is there already, subliminal or otherwise, why are you letting them watch Nick NOW?

And what, exactly, is a 6-year old doing watching that anyway? I mean…last I checked her character wasn’t knocked up and talking about this. And if Nick addresses it, turn it the hell off if you don’t want them to see it.

I applaud Nick for at least trying here. Will they get it right? I have no idea. And as a parent it’s your duty to prescreen or shut it off if you don’t like it. Do I think they should air or not air a special? I’m not sure. Depends on how, when, etc. Again, at least they are *thinking* about how to deal with it. You just want it swept under the rug instead of having a *gasp* talk with your kids. Be a parent, teach them things in an age appropriate manner or don’t let them watch tv or go outside or see the world, period.

Your job is to guide and protect, and the last I checked sex wasn’t something anyone needed protection from, just education ON. It’s not evil and it’s not bad and it’s not WRONG.

BTW, you can’t fire a woman for being pregnant, it’s against the law.

My kids are 4.5 and 2.5 and there is no mystery about babies or sex and they are STILL KIDS.
You people need to get the stick out of your asses.”

Furthermore: Let your preschooler and or elementary schooler watch High School Musical or Zoey 101 or some other teen/tween show and you get what you ask for. You get Bratz commercials and innuendo. You get the possibility they will pick up on something YOU are not ready to address. This is YOUR fault. Not Jamie Lynn Spears OR Nickelodeon.

Treat sex like some ticking time bomb and it will be just that in your house. Some unspoken, totally mysterious, ticking time bomb. My preschoolers ask and get answers. “Yes, Mommy’s have babies in their bellies, yes, a man helped make the baby with his penis.” Not totally scientific but also not crazy inappropriate for their age.

…and ANOTHER thing. Zoey 101 is done. It’s over. It’s been filmed. JLS isn’t acting on it pregnant. She’s not pregnant in the story line. She’s not even talking about being pregnant. She’s pregnant in real life. She’s not filming pregnant. She’s not flaunting her teenage mistake in front of your 6-year old who shouldn’t be watching that freaking show anyway. On the show she’s the same character addressing the same issues as she always did. And what about re-runs? Or those now invalid because the star got in trouble OFF screen?

Just curious, did you pull HSM from the DVD bin when what’s her name’s naked pics came out?

I’m thinking of voices in animated cartoons I watch…man, some of those actors really fuck themselves up off camera. Alex the Lion? (Ben Stiller) Dori?(Ellen) Lightening McQueen? (Luke Owen Wilson) I mean just right there you’ll need to talk about dirty jokes, lesbianism, and suicide with your kids. And that’s just off the top of my head.

I think your anger is displaced and you need to get over sex issues and discuss things with your children if and when they ask. Don’t be afraid. It’s going to be oooookkkkkk.

Nickelodeon doesn’t need to send any messages. To anyone. They are not responsible for your kids. They make tv shows for children and tweens and teens. If you don’t like what they make, turn off your goddamn television.

But Danny knows I love him. And hot wife. And wonder sis. And I’m guessing he’s going to email me and yell at me in about 5…4….3…2…. but hopefully I made him think, just a little.


  1. A-fucking-men.

  2. Amen sister!

  3. Not to be repetitive, but AMEN. My parents always knew exactly which televisions shows my brother and I were watching at any given point in time, and we weren’t ever allowed to watch a new show unless they saw it first. I’m really glad they put the effort into filtering what my brother and I saw to make sure it was appropriate. If it wasn’t, the TV went off and we had a talk about the issue. I still don’t understand why my dad wouldn’t let me watch the SMURFS, but hey… all parents have their quirks.

  4. Queen of Spain says:

    My kids want to watch the Smurfs NOW and I won’t let them. No reason other than it’s ANNOYING as HELL.

  5. Dear Whore of Spain,

    I knew you’d pull some shit like this. The great thing about condescending assholes is their predictability. And I mean that in the most tender, loving way possible.

    Before I take your bait, I want to point out that you omitted some pretty important lines from my diatribe. Specifically:

    “One of the great and awful things about being a parent is that when you fuck up, you fuck up big-time. It’s not like, “Oops. I dropped your sippy cup on the floor and some apple juiced got on the rug. Have to clean that up.â€Â?

    It’s more like, “Oops. I gave you free reign to watch Nickelodeon because I thought it was safe for kids and now the 16-year-old girl on one of the shows you like got pregnant.�

    And this:

    “Besides, it’s my job to educate my kids. It’s their job to entertain them.”

    I intend neither to shirk my parental responsibility nor to shield my children from the facts of life. Bottom line: I decided what’s best for them, and that’s not subject to any television programming. What you call displaced anger and “sex issues” is the opposite of what I find to be a chickenshit throwing of your hands in the air, as if to say, “Well, teenagers are going to fuck so I might as well tell my three-year-old not to stick it in the chick’s ass until at least the third date.”

    I don’t see how you can compare what I’m doing with “treating sex like a ticking time bomb.” I call it responsible parenthood. I call it trying like hell to preserve their ignorance of all things sexual until such time as they are old enough to comprehend that the penis is used for something besides peeing in the tub.

    Is that wrong? Am I unnecessarily sheltering my kids from “the real world” and, as you suggest, blaming Nickelodeon for JLS’s pregnancy? Certainly not. Teenagers have been screwing each other and getting pregnant since way before my time. You know what else? They’ve also been doing drugs and shoplifting and leaving burning paper bags full of dogshit on their Spanish teachers’ front porch. Should I prepare them for that, too?

    If they ask, I’ll talk to them about it. Obviously. But I’m not going to pre-emptively tell a little kid to wear a condom when he bangs Mary Jane Rottencrotch under the bleachers at the Winter Formal.

    The issue here is not just sex; it’s personal responsibility. Including my own.

    Also, can we just get over this shit about soiling a heated debate with name-calling and insulting insinuations? There’s no doubt that we each have only the best of intentions. So keep your wise-cracks to yourself, you insatiable slut.

  6. P.S. — Touche!

  7. Queen of Spain says:

    So explain to me then, why exactly do you want Zoey 101 off the air? And why can’t they air a special on teen sex?

  8. Queen of Spain says:

    p.s. asshat

  9. Queen of Spain says:

    And that’s Ms. Whore of Spain to you

  10. Teen pregnancy always needs to be discussed. Teen sex can’t just be left up to the parents because many teens don’t have a strong advocate in the home. I’ve written about this on my blog and it makes me so mad when people wanna act like the information and education should be left up to the parents. Many young girls are being bullied and abused by boyfriends and have no one to talk to because their parents don’t know they are having sex.

  11. Now the 16 year old (J. Spears) really needs to work because she needs to be able to provide for her child. At least she has a job. Many teens have nothing and end up becoming desperate for cash- perhaps even having late term abortions because they realize how difficult parenting is. I’d like to know how old Dad Gone Mad was when he first had sex!

  12. The fact is that most kids get their sex ed outside the home because their parents either never talk about it or wait until it is too late and the kids are already sexually active.

    Me – no one ever said anything to me. The first time I had sex was the first time I had ever seen a penis and the first time I had any idea of the mechanics of intercourse. I would have waited another 5 years or so to become sexually active if I could have just watched some pornos and had it demystified for me.

  13. It’s funny. The older I get the more conservative my point of view becomes. With that caveat, I shall now throw myself under the old man bus with the following sentiment:

    I think we have strayed way too far from what one might typically call “decency”. When I watch TV with my kids, I’m repeatedly flabbergasted by the sexualization of children and the relentless marketing onslaught geared toward them. They are no longer a generation to be protected; they are potential customers. They are dollars. As parent — as a human being — I find that repulsive. Who cares if they get fat? Who cares if they become depressed? Who cares if they’re stalked on MySpace by some n’er-do-well? As long as our shareholders are happy, the unattractive byproducts of our marketing are a non-issue.

    We’d be fools to believe that Nickelodeon will base its decision on how to deal with this issue on anything other than ad revenue. There’s money in personal drama.

    I do not want this child’s pregnancy to be a profitable venture for the network. Whatever one might choose to believe about HOW and WHEN she became pregnant is irrelevant now. There is a minor and there is a growing human life at the core of this.

    At some point, the PR machine has to relent. At some point, we have to stop letting television introduce every difficult or unsavory speck of human behavior to our kids and we must take on the responsibility of active parenting ourselves. In my view, now is the time for the media to back the fuck up.

  14. Queen of Spain says:

    but I still don’t understand how and why taking the show off the air accomplishes that. will you want EVERYTHING off the air in which the real life actor does something unsavory?

  15. Queen of Spain says:

    old fart

  16. “I do not want this child’s pregnancy to be a profitable venture for the network.”


  17. Insatiable slut? Wow, my husband calls me the same thing! 😉

  18. Queen of Spain says:

    First of all, they usually do a special “sponsored” by someone so they don’t have to pay for it. Second of all, they tend to have their advertisers donate or something to some women’s shelter or crap.

    I think if Nick tried to “profit” off this they would totally get nailed by every parent on the planet. And it would be a horrible PR move.

  19. All Nick is going to do is run a long-ago, previously aired special about teen pregnancy hosted by Linda Ellerbee that was on in the late 90’s.

    Nick isn’t doing anything more than reaching into the vault for something they already have, and charging today’s ad prices to today’s advertisers. Somewhere there is an ad sales guy who is exultant over JLS announcement.

    Just sayin’.

    Also, Nick NOT profit? Queen….that’s just crazy talk. When does a network NOT profit on scandal? I guarantee they will make more money on whatever they do about this than a women’s shelter will ever get from them. Pennies on the dollar…trust me. The shareholders will see much more than the womens shelter ever will from Nick. Believe it.

  20. Queen of Spain says:

    It’s my understanding Elerbee is in a new round of discussions with Nick to host a NEW special, per the information in the Associated Press report. I’ve heard nothing in any report of this being a previously recorded Elberbee special. She did stuff on Aids and things back in the day, but again, the report does not indicate they are simply going to pull one out from the vault, as it would not seem to fit.

    I’m not sure Nick is gaining viewers with this, it’s not like parents are switching over to Nick because they want their kids to see the fall out from Zoey 101.

    I’m just not following the logic here.

  21. Wow. There’s a bunch of self-righteous, sanctimonious, and reactionary mutual masturbation going on over at DGM’s blog. They are so proud of themselves for mustering up the strength to pronounce judgment on Nickelodeon, and then stop letting the TV parent for them. I mean boycott Nickelodeon.

    I for one am glad that this one girls mistake has gotten so many parents over there off of their lazy asses and motivated them to actually be a responsible parent and monitor/control what their children are being shown and taught on TV. Unfortunately, I think it’s all a bunch of grandstanding and it just means a different TV channel is going to be the new surrogate parrent.

  22. Yep. For the record, OWEN Wilson did the voice of Lightening McQueen, not Luke.

  23. And attempted suicide.

  24. Queen of Spain says:

    Thanks Violet, correcting that now…and tell Slipshop he rules for me.

  25. Probably the biggest problem I see here is that any show produced with the intention of “sending a message” or “teaching some crap” will probably be just that; laughable crap. Pointless nonsense that will be mocked and ridiculed by its intended audience.

    I also am a little disconcerted by the level of accusation that seems almost standard in discourse about this situation. It seems like a lot of finger pointing in the direction of Ms. Spears. She was the only one involved in this, I guess? It is fully her mistake alone? Because that often seems to be the subtext.

  26. I couldn’t not leave a comment (actually two) on DGM’s site. Eek, people.

  27. I found your comment on DGM site about this whole thing and could not agree with you more! Yes, I was saddened that JLS totally blew the *nice girl* image that her sister broke years ago, but my kids, who are 5, 8 and 12 still enjoy the show. They aren’t just plunked down in front of it though. We watch it as a family. Just like Zach and Cody, just like Raven, Cory in the House and Hannah Montana. If any storylines come up that they have questions about, we are there to answer them. Granted, it gets tiring watching the SAME episodes over and over again, but still.
    The networks don’t need to be parenting the children, the parents do! But, I guess that just makes me weird. ;o)

  28. Excuse me, but aren’t you all talking about TV? TV doesn’t have any social obligation to the world. TV doesn’t have some sort of moral responsiblity to educate our children or provide the services that they say they do. It is TV. Its job is to make money and if you don’t like what you are watching turn it the fuck off. Why are preschoolers watching so much fucking TV already? Why is this even an issue. It is not the responsibility of TV to provide some sort of moral example of life for a teenage girl. IT is make believe. All made up. Not real in any way shape or form. Last I knew, news organizations were the only ones with some sort of ethical responsibility to the public and they fail at that pretty often. Why are you not more upset by that example than of some made up TV show for teens?

  29. “I for one am glad that this one girls mistake has gotten so many parents over there off of their lazy asses and motivated them to actually be a responsible parent and monitor/control what their children are being shown and taught on TV. Unfortunately, I think it’s all a bunch of grandstanding and it just means a different TV channel is going to be the new surrogate parrent.”

    Total fucking bullshit. Active, responsible parenting and the provision of access to television are not mutually exclusive. Is it so wrong to have standards? Or is wanting to live in a society that first does no harm also “self-righteous, sanctimonious, and reactionary mutual masturbation” in your stupid-ass book, too?

    I’m trying hard to see the opposing side of this issue, but the lot of you seem inclined to belittle those who disagree with you.

  30. It’s the best example of life getting in the way of life. Here is a perfect opportunity to deal with it while teaching our kids it can and will happen way to young. You said most of what I agree to, once again…your the best….

    You may be younger then this 61 year old grandmother however, you seem to have your shit in order…
    My best,

    Dorothy from grammology
    remember to call gram

  31. I love this…really I do.

    The schizoid mentality wrought by the puritanical undercurrent of mainstream American clashing with the sex sells everything of the worship of the celeboid…..

    This is what happens.

    We worship tv and gossip….we drool over scandal and the moronic world of reality tv and the constant barrage of sex sex sex and then everyone gets ‘shocked’ that a teen on tv got pregnant and has this HUGE discussion about what to do?

    Nothing….what did we expect? Did we think that she was like her Nick character? Did the powers that be at Nick think she was all clean and shiny? No..they hired her because she was a Spears. I think they are probably disappointed that getting knocked up was it…where is the sex videos on You Tube?

    Do we think anything on Nick is a safe
    and good show for our kids…..god, I hope not.

    Are we hypocrites for getting into a snit about all this…yes.

    “Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'”

    This is the age of commercialism and exploitation…..this is it.

  32. Whoops! My bad. I had thought I saw a special Linda Ellerbee did years ago on Nick and they were planning to use that, with updated information.

    My mistake. Sorry.

  33. DGM writes: “Is it so wrong to have standards?”

    No. But it IS wrong to impose YOUR standards on others. I have no problem at all with TV or marketing. If I don’t like something, I TURN IT OFF. If ENOUGH people turned it off, the network would have no ad sales and the show would be off the air. Period.

  34. And this is why we only watch PBS. Just sayin’.

    Personally, I agree with DGM about profitting off of this young girl’s sexuality and pregnancy. However, I don’t see that as reason to pull her previous taped show off the air. There are a number of acters and actresses who I couldn’t let within 5 miles of my kids, but they have cute movies where their real life actions do not bleed through. I think if this opens the doors of communcation that might have previously ben closed, then A-MEN! The more education and communication we have going on the less pregnant 16 year olds there will be. And trust me, anyone who has seen big sis in the news isn’t that interested in following a Spears.

  35. I have to say, while I agree with you in some ways, I think the show should be pulled and here’s why: There’s this whole morals clause thingamabobby that I’m sure you know about. It’s particularly pertinent with regards to a relatively wholesome (ish) child-focused network and they can’t just have their teenage stars getting pregnant with their (illegal) old boyfriends out of wedlock.

    Reminder: my kids are technical bastards. So I got no beef with the no marriage thing.

    It’s not just about the program here. If the program was on in a vacuum, maybe. But with all of the marketing associated with programming that changes – tv appearances, action figures, bad CD single releases, cover of Teen Beat. Or OK Magazine, as I hear the elder Mrs. Spears just negotiated a fancy 1mm deal for the rights to her daughter’s story. Klassy!

    You know I’m a crazy raging liberal and I’m all for the sex ed on the ABC afterschool special or whatever. But I think it compromises Nickelodeon’s carefully constructed brand image which they have the right to protect.

    I’m an insatiable slut too, btw.


  1. says:

    Mom Gone Mad…

    Queen of Spain offers a nice backlash to Dad Gone Mad’s position that Zoey 101 should be canceled because of Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy….

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