Looking for Light

My favorite time of year here in Southern California is when I can open up my patio door in the morning. Our weather tends to be pretty extreme and usually I can’t open the windows and doors for fear we’ll sweat to death or freeze to death, leaving precious little time when I can enjoy my morning coffee outside with the birds and kids.

I missed that time entirely this year, and am heartbroken. I’m not sure if it’s goofy weather patterns due to man-made climate issues (yes, I said man-made on purpose, ’cause I crack myself up) or if I was just too caught up with work and the election to notice my short window of opportunity was here and gone.

I needed that time outside to clear my head, to be honest. This election has my emotions in a knot 24/7. Some of you wonder why I care so much. Some of you wonder if it’s all an act. Some of you have even gone so far as to accuse me of blogging as part of some vast conspiracy.

The truth is, I actually do believe. I actually do believe in hope and change and history. I actually do think people can make a difference and that Senator Obama is the guy who can bring it all about.

I wasn’t always like this. And I am not naive and stupid. It’s taken me trust to put so much faith in this man from Illinois. Everyone seems to forget that after I left reporting I trusted NO politician and found absolutely no person entirely worthy of my vote.

So what brought me to happy fun rainbow and unicorn land? Not, necessarily Senator Obama. Yes, Senator Obama…but not all him.

The people.

The people who are right there with me. Those hungry for change and those inspired by what they see in this leader. Those who took the leap of faith with me, and are now convinced it’s our only hope. Those who have rallied and volunteered and donated.

There are 26 days left of this thing, and I’m exhausted. I didn’t get my patio time outside. I can’t remember what day it is half the time. The opponent has gotten so nasty I fear for this country in a way I haven’t felt before. I fear for my kids. For real. Unexaggerated.

The very nasty route taken by McCain/Palin has me just sick.

So I need to turn now to the people who have inspired me all along.

My Mom who has volunteered for the campaign and went from phone banking to canvassing and knocking on more doors than the young kids in her group.

My friends who have thrown house parties, donated their time, and even started blogging to make a difference.

And I can’t help but think if I…little ‘ol me, the blogger…feels this way at this point, how those working in the campaign must feel. To be attacked nonstop since declaring. To be traveling and working non-stop.

But if I’ve learned nothing else this past week, it’s that after all this time, and after all this work, there is no way in hell this negative campaigning from the McCain/Palin side is going to upset me THIS much. No way in hell. Because I have the most amazing secret weapon. The one that will win this election and the one that began this entire movement.


Thank you.

26 days.


  1. Queen- I feel your pain, I honestly do. The ugly side of our Nation has reared its head and its overwhelming to think that such hate and pure lies can permeate like a cancer…only 26 more days. Just reading this I know you are like me and millions of others of us who hear hope, and empathy from this brilliant man and his wife. It makes me believe that change is coming, and when enough of us believe at one time…a seismic shift happens. We’ll get through it together, and come out to much better times..together.

  2. Thank YOU, Erin. I’ve been on the verge of an ulcer over this whole thing. (Seriously. I have a pain right in my gut) But my belief in hope and change and goodness is what keeps me going. I’ve been sickened by the continuous sewage spewed by the McCain campaign, and bewildered by their tactic to completely ignore the financial abyss we’re looking at. 25 more days… and I really, REALLY believe support for Obama will only get stronger. Thanks for all your great writing and sharing your feelings with us!

  3. Queen of Spain says:

    See..we’re all in PHYSICAL pain over this.

    But it just means we really do care. We really, really, really do

  4. The vicious negativity being spewed from the McCain campaign and their supporters has sickened me, too. I had hoped this kind of hatred and bigotry was no longer the norm in 2008, but I’m seeing it start to seep out of the shadows with each shout of “kill him!” or “terrorist”.

    That hope of a new day and a president who will bring real change is about all I have to hold onto now. We have no job, no health insurance, barely enough money to pay our bills, and I just lost my highest paid freelance job today. I’m clinging with all I can to that hope for change and my belief that good, honest people triumph over those who lie and discriminate.

  5. On a lighter note … I really identified with your heartfelt joy at the simple pleasure of having your patio door open in the morning. Here in San Diego it isn’t necessarily the heat or cold that gets us … it’s the darn flies! Once they get in the house you just cannot get them out!

    On a more serious note – it’s crazy that people question your motives. It is clear to me this is something you are passionate about from seeing your twitter interactions, blog posts etc. People just cannot fake that great of a commitment to something!

  6. I came here from Twitter.

    I have read some of your other posts and have to say that I feel exactly the same.

    IF Obama doesn’t win this election I feel like it will be the end of the world. I have supported, blogged, done EVERYTHING I can to help his campaign and if after all of that he still doesn’t win I don’t know what I will do.

    I am a SAHM of 3 boys. I don’t work, and my husband owns a small business. We are just above the poverty line and have no health insurance. Two of my boys are on the Autism Spectrum and one has severe Intractable Epilepsy. (this is why I don’t work with two special needs kids you sometimes have to make sacrifices.)

    Our family NEEDS Obama for a president. I cannot imagine for a second what it would be like to have John McCain and Sarah Palin at the helm of this great country. My brain just won’t allow me to even try to imagine it.

    Thank you for writing this. I actually got tears in my eyes reading it because I feel the same as you.

  7. Erin,
    I have been bouncing from sick to my stomach nuts over the smear tactics of the McCain/Palin camp. To anger and frustration when I hear ordinary Americans parrot these views as if they have been brainwashed. Unlike you, I have been supporting Obama’s candidacy since the beginning. My biggest hope is that when Obama wins, we will maybe, finally, have an opportunity to address racism, classism and all the other isms. I hope that we will have the opportunity to improve our educational system to the point that others won’t have any choice but to heal themselves of their bigotry and hate and we can move on and create a future that our children will be proud to inherit. That’s what keeps me going. That and the occasional rant about Sarah Palin. 😀 Stay strong it’s almost over.

  8. I have a really good feeling about how this election is going to turn out… Though, I had that same feeling with Gore/Bush and that didn’t happen, did it? I think Obama is so much more inspiring though.

  9. you rock.

  10. The light is not 26 days away and it is not around the corner, it is in you. And you’ve been brave enough to walk with it and to hold it up for others so they can also find the light within.

    Peace and justice *shall* win this election.

  11. ColetteNicole says:

    I haven’t been interested in a presidential election since 1992. I was 18 then and a new voter and I was all about Bill Clinton. It was so exciting to vote for the first time in that election. I had my Rock the Vote t-shirt and everything. Sadly, the thrill of being swept up in that excitement about and certainty in a candidate left me with high expectations which were never met in another election. I stopped caring after the recounts in 2000 and I didn’t even vote in the last election. If I hadn’t stumbled upon Twitter one day and ended up following you I wouldnt have had any interest in this election. I read your tweets and clicked your links and I became very excited. A little shadow of that 18 year old’s thrill came back to me. I have great hope in Obama and I cannot wait to see what he can do as president.
    Thank you, Erin, for reigniting my interest in what goes on in my country. For the first time in 16 years, I cannot wait to vote!!!!!

  12. Hey you, you’re amazing! Thanks for starting this contagion of Looking for Light. You rock, and thank you for putting these emotions so eloquently.

    We’re going to win and (knock on wood) in the slim chance we don’t, look what I found here:

    Almost there. 🙂

  13. Catherine:
    When I read your comment

    I am a SAHM of 3 boys. I don’t work, and my husband owns a small business. We are just above the poverty line and have no health insurance. Two of my boys are on the Autism Spectrum and one has severe Intractable Epilepsy. (this is why I don’t work with two special needs kids you sometimes have to make sacrifices.)

    I felt my resolve strengthen. YOU inspire me to fight harder, because every day you are quietly holding it together, and you so totally deserve a spa day and possibly a parade in your honor, but at the very least some health insurance so your boys can get the treatment they need.

    And I really, really, really want that for you. One less thing for you to worry about. From one mama to another. Cuz I know how we mamas worry.

    There will always be haters. Let ’em.

    But right here and now, we have the chance to get that health insurance coverage for people who need it. The last time we had this chance was in 1992 with Bill Clinton.


    Let’s do it now. Yes. We can.

  14. Uh-oh. Html screwup above. Drat.

    Well, you know what I meant.

  15. The campaign has taken such a frightening turn, not just because the approach is so ugly, but also because it’s inflicting damage on our national psyche. To stir up the worst in people by sucking them in with nonsensical, hateful allegations, is just going to make it that much harder for us as a country to get out of the mess we’re in. Oh, it’s so gross and discouraging, and 25 days seems like a really long time right now.

  16. I’m scared, I have a knot in my stomach all the time now. I remember the disappointment of the 2000 presidential election. It was so close and I felt we were robbed! Then my hopes were revived again in 2004, OK, this will be the one, it can’t happen again, we won’t be robbed this time, Bush CAN’T win again.

    And now, and now, sighhhhhhh it’s so close again I’m afraid, can it happen again? Is it possible that all those people really like McCain/Palin?? Is it possible so many people still want another 4 years of another Bush? I can’t imagine it, but then I couldn’t imagine it in 2000 or 2004 either.

    I saw Michele Obama on the Jon Stewart show last night….she’s the light! I’ve watched Obama’s debates and speeches across the nation, he’s the light! McCain? McCain is starting to look like the devil himself to me now and Palin, Palin is Pandora letting lose all the evil in the world. I know I’m getting dramatic here LOL. But it’s how I feel!!

    Obama’s light has to shine through, he has to win, has to.

  17. I just came from another forum I’ve been a member of for the past five years and the political talk there has turned as ugly as McCain’s campaigning. I just want this whole thing to be over.

  18. While I may support a different candidate than you I must say….well said!

  19. People like me, from other countries, are shocked at the ugliness of the campaign, so much so I didn’t even want to listen to the debates. Is it always like this in the US elections, or just this time?

  20. I too am afraid, and I am disgusted. It was the nasty, sneering and sarcastic speeches by Palin and Giuliani at the RNC that set the tone, giving permission to the snarling masses to raise their voices. McCain and Palin look on, and say nothing. If anything happens, the world already knows that they have blood on their hands.

    I also agree with my fellow commenters…the light is in you…and in me and all the rest of us. I have been blogging in the wind for a while now. It was just my way to get all my angry thoughts out of my head. But, over time, I’ve made like-minded friends, and have expanded my world and my knowledge. I feel stronger, even when I become disheartened. You’re right…it’s all of us together that keep the light in the window bright, beckoning us home.

  21. I seriously think he can make a difference.

    I will vote for the first democrat I’ve ever voted for in my entire life this year. That’s just the fact. The truth is I’m voting for the man behind my hopes. This time I’m seriously paying attention. I’ll not listen to any more lies. I live in Oklahoma. I’m surrounded by people, long time Republicans, who are beginning to see through all the bologna.

    I wish I had time or resources for more.

  22. I’ve decided that on Nov.5th I’m just going to post photos on my blog of me in my “I’m Voting for ‘That One'” shirt, voting with my 3yo, wearing her “It is your vote, but it’s my future” shirt, mail the photos to my Gram who doesn’t have a computer because she’d love it, & email them to all my hatemongering relatives.

    I just keep singing, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…”

    From one Motor City Mama to another, Everything’s Gonna Be Alright…

  23. I appreciate how this blog addresses important issues in a respectful and informative manner It’s refreshing to see a blog use its platform for good


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