I realize we’ve already given Thanks and the time has come and gone for me to rattle off all the people and things I love in my life. So rather than cross that fine line between GREAT, comforting, yummy Holiday leftovers and lead-in-pit-of-stomach, one-day-too-late-to-eat leftovers, my Holiday leftovers consist of change.

(oh god, that change word again…is she going to talk politics? please no please no)

A seismic shift has occurred in our house, and it needs to be recognized.

Despite years of loathing, jealousy, and full-on contempt, my son now adores and protects his little sister.

Yes, it’s a holiday miracle. Yes, I am thrilled he comes to her defense. Yes, I realize this is normal sibling stuff.

However (and this is a big however) it’s getting annoying.

I find myself walking a very fine-line between “it’s so wonderful to see you sticking up for your sister” and “don’t you DARE challenge ME the MOM while I rightfully punish your sister.”

Yes, he is protecting her so very much he’s actually attempting to justify his baby sister’s indiscretions to the parental units.

Mom she’s just having a bad day, she didn’t really mean to throw that lego

Mom don’t yell at her, she will say she’s sorry for hitting you with her pony

Mom I told her it was ok so please don’t be mad at her

It also seems, just like the other males in this house, my little guy has some sort of dagger-through-heart reaction whenever my darling daughter cries.

Which means he attempts to avoid it at all costs. He will give her that toy she’s wanting. He will go get her a juice. He will even give up the toy he’s playing with in order to keep the peace.

It’s gotten so bad my 3-year old now totally plays her brother by fake crying, just to get her way.

Now, I look at this from a few different angles. One is that I’m thrilled my son no longer views her as the enemy. Two is that he is so very compassionate. Three is a bit more concerning to me…she’s totally using her feminine ways to exploit every male in this house from her brother to her uncle to her Dad.

Say it with me…OY VEY.

I realize this will probably serve her well later in life, but I’m torn between cutting it off now or helping her hone and better control her female gifts. I mean…do I put my foot down…or have her use this power to get us both a puppy? Do I make her stop using and abusing men or teach her that if she tilts her head just a bit and drops her lip just one more notch she could probably ALSO get a pony?

Change. Yes, it’s here.


  1. Your two are very different from my sis and I when we were kids. We did everything in our power to get each other in trouble. SThough she did come to my rescue now and then crying for my dad to stop when I was getting spanked. I however didn’t come to her rescue. I was evil. As she was spanked, I thought “get her”. Awful I know. Be glad your kids get along as well as they do.

  2. LOL I know it’s got to be insanely annoying, but him sticking up for his little sister against the mean mommy is just adorable. Of course I say tha only because mine still thinks his little brother is a punching bag with legs who occasionally fetches.

  3. Times must change or something… When I was little (I’m 17 now), I blamed everything on my sister, big or small. Granted, she did the same thing. Heck, she’s 26 now and we still blame things on each other, even though it couldn’t possibly have been her because she’s on the opposite end of the state.

    Get the puppy and then stop. Have the kids start blaming things on each other. That’s the true American way. 😉

  4. All three of my kids (5.5, 3, and 2) have been taking up for each other lately. And they are all playing each other. And none of them seems to a) get it, or b) care.

    Well, to clarify, they take up for each other when they’re not trying to pound the crap out of each other with plastic hammers. I would like them to make up their minds.

    Also, I love your font.

  5. Okay – that is hysterical…and don’t your questions hit right at the heart of the ultimate female conflict?

    I don’t have the answers – though those those feminine ‘tools’ have certainly served me…but I’ll tell you this: they don’t work woman to woman – as I can tell you know from your post. I was a highly skilled exploiter of my ‘feminine ways’ for years…and then? I fell in love with and married a woman – and she decidedly does NOT respond in the same way…

    So, if you do help your daughter hone these skills, make sure she has some other tricks up her sleeve…in the event of a female teacher, female boss…or even a wife.

  6. My (almost) 5 y/o son is like this with his 1 y/o sister. His 3 year old sister…is his arch enemy..I can only DREAM of the day that he stands up for HER!

  7. I have two sons: one is 15 1/2, and the littlest one just turned six. When the older boy was growing up, we taught him that he couldn’t get his way once he cried for something. Whatever it was: wanting a toy or snack or tv show, once we saw tears, it was off limits, simply so he would learn that he couldn’t get his way by crying for something. We had much more energy then. Ten years later, I don’t have the same resolve with my second son. All I know is that I’ll do anything to make him stop crying, and he has definitely learned that it works to help him get his way. Point here is, it’s not relevant to the child’s sex. It’s simply relevant to the child who learns how and where to use it as a tool.

  8. Fortunately, he will be AWESOME when she starts dating. Older brothers can be more intimidating than dads. Not only are they in better shape, if they have a clean record, you know they can beat your arse and get away with it legally! 🙂

  9. what about your chickens? You wanted chickens for the backyard. chickens would ROCK

  10. My 7 year old son would probably love to be like that with his almost 4 yrld sister, but in reality he needs protection from her. The Dread Pirate Arwen is routinely assaulting him and he is clueless as how to defend himself. And when he gets in trouble, man you should hear her merciless chuckling.

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