Santa Claus: Monster or Mercenary?

My kids are scared shitless of Santa.

Ok, maybe scared isn’t the right word. They can’t look at him, or talk to him, or go anywhere near him. But it’s not clear if they are scared or OVERWHELMED BY HIS GLORY.

This means, aside from one photo when my son was 9-months old and I hadn’t thought through the chaos, my children have no pictures with Santa.

So when I see articles over at BlogHer like Laurie’s…I have to laugh and shake my head at other parents who are fine with torturing their children year after year after year. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a pretty stupid Mother (or ‘Mudder’ as my daughter has taken to calling me) on some things here and there, but I just can’t imagine forcing my crying and scared to death kid into the lap of some large, red stranger.

Do you really need that photo THAT badly? I don’t. And as much as I wanted my kids to pose with characters at Disney, I certainly wasn’t going to shove them forward if they didn’t want to.

No, instead I shove my husband, because he’ll shake his ass with Stitch on behalf of his children anyday.

My husband shaking his butt with Stitch


  1. I wonder if you have seen the Scared of Santa photo gallery? Pure hysteria:

    Also, my parents and in-laws are horrified that we told my 4-year-old son that there isn’t really a Santa. I was appalled when he started begging for Christmas toys in October last year, so we decided to try and make Christmas a little more Whoville, a little less Grinch. Details here.

  2. Man. My kid would shit a brick of pure joy if she ran into Stitch. Lilo and Stitch is her numero uno favorite movie right now – so much that she’s even developed little Lilo’s attitude problem. UGH.
    But still – that picture is hilarious. Good stuff.

  3. I am glad that my kids missed the Lilo and Stitch era. But that picture right there is reason enough to pay the admission to one of those temples to consumerism and entertainment! Awesome. Way to go, daddy-o!

  4. Hellz to the no we don’t do Santa pictures.

    We also don’t do pictures with the characters at Disney because they scare the CRAP out of my kids.

  5. My kid is TERRIFIED of Santa… she said she’d rather leave cookies for Grandma instead of Santa… I think my mom was okay with that.

  6. My 6yo son was asking skeptical questions about Santa the other day.
    Santa was outside T-Mobile selling phones, and my kidlet pointed him out and explained to me that he was just a man in a Santa suit. He has thought this all out, and it seems clear that he’s not buying into the jolly mystique the way his brother did, who believed in Santa until he was 10 or 11. I admit, I encouraged the myth, even though it wouldn’t have scarred the little guy to know the truth. WHY? Because I don’t want him spilling the beans to the other kids who still believe, and making me the mom who killed Santa for a class full of kindergartners.


  1. […] to sit in his lap and smile.  We know our baby girl, and that would have been an ugly scene. (I know others feel the same as evidenced here) So, we didn’t take her to see Santa this year.  It was a bit sad for me, because I like […]

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