I’m not a fan of toilet humor. Call me a snob, I don’t really care. It’s just never been what really gets me laughing. 

This is not to say I am mature by any stretch. I giggle when the hockey announcer says ‘5-hole’ and I lose it entirely when Sarah tells me about her neighbor’s having ‘back door friends.’ *


However the fart and poop stuff wouldn’t rank as #1 (or #2..get it? get it? oh shut up) on my ‘make Erin spit wine’ list. 

So the news of my son’s recent Kindergarten ‘bad day’ was not received very well on my end. 

As I have mentioned, the kids are in the process of presenting their end-of-the-year projects, and my Letterman wannabe decided it would be hilarious to yell out ‘POOP!’ during other student’s presentations. 

Mortified doesn’t even cover it. 

He has been punished, rest assured. He has also made very large and drama filled apologies to teachers, parents of said students, and the students themselves.

However this MOM can’t seem to let go of where she CLEARLY FAILED HER CHILDREN. 

Maybe I’m overreacting but I’ve banned Spongebob for a bit. I know damn well that’s where he read, laughed, and re-read POOP. 

I’m also realizing how often we’re crass around here. We are a sarcastic bunch at this house. There are too many fart jokes. Too many poop jokes and too many OTHER jokes he’s going to realize are jokes very soon. 

Which leads me to no other conclusion, given my allowance of certain shows and my use of words like ‘crap’…that this entire episode is all my fault. 


All mine. 

I mean you think kids realize after you say 45 times ‘you are NOT allowed to say that at school’ that they really ARE NOT allowed to say that at school. But they don’t. They are kids. And I am a stupid, stupid, stupid parent. 

Time to buckle down around here. With POOP as my wake-up call. 

*Sarah is also not allowed to homeschool my children and neither of us should be trusted with yours. Or maybe we should just start our own commune and homeschool all the kids and they can run around yelling, reading, and writing POOP all damn day. 


  1. Just don’t let Devra do the homeschooling, no matter. what.


  2. We’re so potty-humor-oriented around here that farts are answered with, “What?”

    My oldest starts Kindergarten in 2-1/2 months. I’m ready for the phone calls.

  3. Yeah…Devra can homeschool me on the mommy guilt but I”m going to pass on her spelling lessons 😉

  4. W2 tried to explain to him that he could have been saying ANYTHING…helicopter, for instance, and he’d still be in trouble. It was the disrespect to his fellow classmates, not necessarily the word. I’m not sure that got through.

  5. I have been awake for about 15 minutes and Ian has easily already said poop 12 times and toot as least thrice.

    I think it is a boy thing.

    Or a kid thing.

    Or – look, poop is funny and you know it.

  6. Also – 5 hole is hilarious!

  7. Wait just a second, SARAH was homeschooling ME. Not the other way around. The topic was why SARAH doesn’t homeschool ME.

    But in all seriousness, kids and potty humor has very little to do with how we parent our kids. It’s actually a developmental phase in my (and Aviva’s) and many other professional’s opinions. It’s also a rite of passage and somewhat of a milestone. I was recently interviewed about just this topic, including armfarts, by the AP,
    But this doesn’t mean children should just have carteblanche to Bring It and bring it anywhere they please. I too have banned-accompanied by a lovely lecture about expectations about appropriate ways to communicate- Spongebob for the younger, and The Simpsons for the older on the occasion I witness their social skills getting out of whack.

    And it is perfectly okay to have your own measurement of what is acceptable to you and what isn’t. You live with your kids, no one else does, so your rules in your house shold be, well, your rules.

    Just keep Sarah away from your refridgerator magnets and I’ll not to arm fart around you at BlogHer.

  8. I kinda love that Devra is the go-to gal when the media wants an arm-fart expert

  9. You’re right, Devra. I can’t even get my homeschooling jokes right. Except that one about the priest, the rabbi and the homeschooler…

  10. Mommy Guilt, Arm Farts, I’m a giver, what can I say?

  11. Momo Fali,
    No worry. You know I am all about embracing imperfection!


  12. Yes, it is not fun when your kids embarass the crap out of you. I once picked up my then three year old from school early, only to see her on her WORST behavior. Also, you are right that your kids are going to do what you do and say what you say, but we are only human. I don’t curse around my kids or even use words like butt, stupid, bad, etc. But my kid still repeats the things that I do say, like “Are you kidding me?”, “Don’t be ridiculous.” and others. It’s not cute, but I have to say something….

  13. I hate to break it to you, but we do not watch Spongebob in this house, and the poop and fart jokes (and sounds!) fly with staggering regularity around here.

    Oh, and age does NOT always equal maturity when it comes to boys and fart jokes either. Those tend to linger for quite awhile. (Pardon the pun!)

    I love you guys. Your little guy is so awesome. So are you.

    It’s gonna be okay, mom. I promise. Besides, he gave those teachers something to talk (and laugh!) about for DAYS. Seriously.


  14. i was reading this entry with my 5 week old on my lap. my 5 week old who hasn’t POOPED in 8 days. he started pooping right as i read the title and has continued till now. i’m almost afraid to open the diaper. his timing on this really cracks me up!

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