6-year old Gets Some. Mom Mortified. News at 11

My 6-year old got his first piece of ass today.

Jack's first Gar burger

Yes, my baby boy thought it was appropriate to swim underwater right on over to Megan and pinch her butt.

That’s right, an adult he’s never met. A guest in my home. And my son thinks its just fine to grab her ass.

I blame his father.

Alright not really, but I do blame the casual …ummm…atmosphere at our home. My son thought it was totally fine to pinch Megan’s ass because he’s pinched mine. And his Dad has pinched mine. And when we’re swimming in the pool they are the ‘sharks’ and they come get Mom. They get me by going underwater and pinching my butt. I squeal, they laugh…and life goes on.

Never in my wildest dreams did it occur to me my little guy would think this was fine to do this to other people.

Imagine, if you will, being a guest in my home and swimming in my pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you feel a pinch on your ass and turn to find a 1st grader underwater by your butt.

Of course I’d like to say, as the Mom, I handled the situation well. But as it turns out just moments before said pinching, I had been stung by a bee and was far from able to give the situation the attention it deserved.

Megan was a gracious guest and laughed it off…but what else could she do? My son had just got himself some and giggled  about it. What sort of hedonistic home had she brought herself and her children to?


Parenting fail.

But now he can say he’s grabbed Megan’s butt.


  1. Well, she is haut. 😉 Can you blame him?

  2. Uhm, when my babysitter first worked for us as soon as I left the house my then 3 yr. old son would tell her to take off her shirt so he could see her boobies. She didn’t tell me this until months later! She handled it appropriately and didn’t want to concern me but it was delayed embarrassment for me.

  3. I concur with mama speak. A lot of guys, I’m sure, would love to play sharks with Megan.

  4. I’ve grabbed Megan’s butt too. It’s irresistible! Go little Vest!

  5. LMAO! Well, he’s got good taste, what else can ya say?

  6. he’s just the latest in a long line of people who have grabbed Megan’s butt. Me included.

  7. That’s going to make a great story for him when he’s an adult!!

  8. Lil guy was just playing shark (or was he?)

    Ha! Glad my kids aren’t the only ones who embarrasse their mom!

  9. You ask what I would do if I were in Megan’s shoes and a six-year pinched my butt? Alarmingly, I’d shrug it off because in my house, I am routinely asked out by MY six-year (this morning: “Hey babe. What are ya doin’ Saturday night?”) I have also had to warn my friends about my son’s current ta-ta obsession (like that’s ever going away) — yes, he’s been known to grope. Not just me. I suppose it’s better that he assault my 30- and 40-something friends instead of his female classmates, because then I’d have teachers all over my lackadasical mom ass.

  10. Frankly, I was flattered. And my first instinct was to blame his father also. He’s got that same little sparkle of mischief in his eye that Aaron does. (Good luck with THAT.)

    Your kids are ‘adohable’ as Hala would say. Seriously.

  11. He grabbed Megan’s butt? Who hasn’t?

  12. Clearly it’s Megan’s fault. I mean, rocks, bees and now sharks? She’s obviously got some sort of crazy power over objects in and around your house and she’s out to get you. Beware. 😉

  13. I foresee this happening with my own kid, as liberal as his dad is with the pinching and grabbing of my butt around the house. I just hope his first target is as understanding as Megan!

  14. Somehow I think women and first graders – especially those as cute as he is – get a grabass pass which grown men (particularly married ones) would not. I’d be worried Megan would beat my ass if I grabbed hers. Because I’m afraid of her. I mean, have you seen her tats? (No, iPhone, not her rats). She’s hard core.

  15. Lucky for him he tried that out on a NICE lady who would laugh eventually some not so nice lady will slap him.

  16. still mortified.

  17. Wow. I am so jealous of your son. lol. Only a 6 year old could grab some hawt piece of ass like Megan and get away with it.
    Well I guess that’s one more thing she can cross off her bucket list.


  19. My just-turned-7 year old regularly tries to cop a feel of my boobs. Thinks its funny no matter how much I threaten him.

  20. Is Megan doing a scrapbooking page about it? That’s what I need to know.

  21. karl marx says:

    I think he should pinch his father’s ass now just to keep things equal, maybe the reaction will be more positive from daddykins, you never know until you try…….

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