Sometimes it’s not the change that throws you for a loop, it’s that you didn’t see it coming in the first place.
I can count the number of times in my life change has blindsided me. When a moment like that occurs, you are never the same and the world around shifts to find a new place.
What was black is white. What was up is down. And so on. And so on.
Most of these moments have for me been in relationships. Maybe because I have terrible intuition or because I don’t pay as close of attention as I should. Maybe because in a relationship, you can’t control the other person.
Maybe just because.
This morning my son’s teacher explained to my husband and I that our 6-year old really enjoys painting.
A rather mundane comment, right? A kid that likes to paint. Big deal.
But it was a big deal to me. Not only had I never seen my son take any interest what so ever in painting, coloring, drawing, even chalk, but whenever I asked him to do any of these tasks he would instinctively shrink away.
As it turns out, he spent a great deal of time on that painting above worrying over colors and fretting over blending. He was upset you can’t see the clouds he made. He was upset he couldn’t make the green MORE green. And he focused his attention on painting this childhood masterpiece so he could take it home to his mom.
And suddenly. Just like that. It all made sense.
This is the boy who, yes, builds robots and takes apart my DVD player and leaves strewn screws and nails all over my floor. But he’s also the boy who turned to me while we were flying across the country to show me how beautiful it was when the sunlight hit the clouds.
This is the boy that told me of how he nearly cried at school yesterday, because the music his teacher was playing was so sad and lovely.
This is the boy that holds my face and says ‘I just want to look at you, because there you are.’
And this is the boy that will now sit, focus, and paint because he has the soul of an artist. A soul I recognize in his father and only slightly in myself. But it’s there indeed, and it blindsided me.
Black is now white. Up is now down. And the world is in a new place.