2010 November

The ‘C’ Word

November 29, 2010 by Queen of Spain 53 Comments

I found out today one of the moles on my back went…well, south. Which in the end is not a huge deal except it’s attached to the ‘c’ word that bring fear and dread into most people’s minds.

Especially my children.

Because this mole has already been removed, and treatment for said ‘c’ word will only be another procedure to clean up a few more millimeters of skin around where the mole used to be…my husband and I have decided not to tell the kids Mom has cancer.

Mom has cancer.

Jesus. Could that sound worse?

Sure they will find out someday, but by then visits to the hospital from the entire Spring, Summer, and Fall of Lupus 2010 will be long gone. And they won’t need 300 more rounds of therapy to get over their fear of Mom dying. We won’t order another stuffed toy to commemorate this surgery, nor will we discuss it at length so they understand what will happen before, after, and during.

Nope. This time, we’re staying quiet.

Call me a liar, tell me I’m hiding things from them. I don’t really care. They just do not need to be bothered with this minor annoyance right now, and because we trust the doctor, there is absolutely nothing for them to worry about.

My kids have been through a surgery where no one, not even the doctors knew what they were looking for, a surgery to remove my colon and gall bladder, and a surgery to remove my uterus, ovaries, and cervix, and countless hospital stays in-between emergency and otherwise. They do NOT need to know that in January my back will have a few more stitches that will take all of three minutes with a numbing shot.

They have been through enough. And to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.

*Update: We’re aware of a commenting issue on this post due to the heavy traffic. Please try again later as we work to fix it! Thanks and yes, #fuckcancer

***Update: Comments are fixed and enabled. Thank you for coming back or sticking around.

Filed Under: #suckit, #SUCKITLupus

Thankful

November 24, 2010 by Queen of Spain 14 Comments

I am alive.
We are employed (as of today).
We have a roof over our heads.
We have food on the table.
We have wonderful friends and family.
We are enveloped and consumed by love.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Filed Under: #SUCKITLupus, Feeling YaYa, Stepford Crazies

Inventions

November 23, 2010 by Queen of Spain 3 Comments

Filed Under: Stepford Crazies

President Palin

November 22, 2010 by Queen of Spain 22 Comments

I don’t think it’s going to happen. But I also did not think the country would be more interested in Jersey Shore than this month’s election results.

So let’s talk about what would happen if the first female president of the United States of America is Sarah Palin.

It would be the moment girls like me have been dreaming of since we could dream, wrapped in a package we never expected. How, exactly, would we celebrate the achievement we’ve all been waiting for…while lamenting what it means for American women as a whole?

There is no question in my mind Palin and her policy’s are anti-woman, however a Palin presidential run and win would be history, epic, and game changing for females.

What to do. What to do.

I know what I plan on doing.

Working my ass off to ensure a pro-woman candidate wins.

However we would be remiss if we did not prepare for the inevitable questions and possibility our first female president is someone we do not agree with. This means continuing to work to make sure Sarah Palin has every opportunity to become president, and calling out the sexism she will undoubtedly will be subject to when she runs.

This will be a test for all true feminists across the nation.

Time to walk the walk.

In the meantime, let’s hope her chances are as silly as these two-

Filed Under: #suckit

Tangled Mornings

November 18, 2010 by Queen of Spain 9 Comments

There is just something about the tiny things that make me love so hard it hurts. One of them? When I watch my husband brush my daughter’s hair.

He’s just doing what we do every morning. Shuffling between the chaos and routine of getting ready for school, I grab my camera because we all have those moments. The ones where you stop and look around and see the man you love, carefully and almost with a bit of fright, trying to untangle the mess left by a night spent with too many teddy bears and puppies.

It’s so simple really, and so wonderful.

But there is something about that Dad-Daughter bond that I watch with my husband and little one, and I have with my father. It really is special and one-of-a-kind. The trust. The love. And just the way she patiently lets her Daddy brush and comb, a task that would have garnered shrieks had I been the one getting her ready.

I know their relationship will change. They will argue, they will be close and then not-so-close. And over time they will tangle and untangle and I will remember mornings. And brushes. And combs. And the loving hand of Dad.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Princess Peanut, Stepford Crazies

Detour

November 13, 2010 by Queen of Spain 35 Comments

Because some days you just need to say ‘to hell with it’- whip your minivan around a roundabout, in an illegal u-turn, rummage for change in the bottom of your purse to feed a meter, hastily zip hoodies onto both kids who are now confused and excited as to what has come over their mother. Sprint hand-in-hand-in-hand across a parking lot, down some stairs, then flip off everyone’s shoes and balance them in all your fingers. Encourage everyone to sink their toes in the sand, run faster and harder with the kids now yelling ‘Mom! Mom! Are we really HERE?’

And stand breathlessly at the edge of the world just in time to see the sun sink into the Pacific.

If there is one thing being sick has taught me, it is to live in the moment. Remember tomorrow it could all be gone. Remember what is important as much as you can over the course of your regular, boring, routine of a day.

Say I love you, tell them how much they mean to you. Make sure you are there to show them the ocean, the stars, the flower on the side of the road as you drive on by.

Sing a silly song while stuck in traffic. Make up a secret handshake. Curl up next to your partner in the dead of night and kiss him softly while he sleeps, whispering how much you love him. Make a big deal of the tooth fairy, of a field trip, over his tiny act of helping his sister pick up toys.

Be proud, truly beam, and cheer with the kids, tears of joy in your eyes, as he crosses the finish line of a race. A race he didn’t train for correctly because he was caring for you and the family.

Encourage her to wear that princess dress to the store, and help her pick out shoes to match.

Tickle fight on the couch. Share made-up words at dinner.

And when faced with seeing a glint of blue out of the corner of your eye through traffic, always…ALWAYS whip the car around.

Park.

And breathlessly, barefooted, and giggling…chase that sunset.

Filed Under: #SUCKITLupus

Kids & iPads: Fish Bucks Are Not FREE

November 9, 2010 by Queen of Spain 17 Comments

crossposted at BlogHer.com

I’m now the proud owner of $20 worth of virtual fish for a virtual aquarium.

Why would I make such a purchase you ask?

I didn’t.

My five-year old daughter did on the family iPad.

Yes, it’s just that easy to make purchases in the App store, and even children can figure out how to add more veggies to their virtual farms, buy the updated version of Angry Birds, and yes, even fill cyber fish tanks with loads upon loads upon loads of fish.

Because let me tell you, $20 buys A LOT of pixel fish.

Of course this is all my fault. I did not turn off the online feature. I did not disable purchases. And just minutes before my daughter’s big “click,” I had entered my password to download a new app.

Totally my fault.

But as it turns out, I’m not the only parent who’s found out the hard way that some of these games cost REAL money and not all Apps are .99cents.

Mike Rohde’s son spent $190 in virtual fish goods:

“Today, iTunes enabled inadvertent in-app currency purchases via my 7 year old son, while he played the PlayMesh Fishies app on our iPad.

Read that again — from my 7 year old son.

It Started with a Free App

The story starts when we downloaded PlayMesh Fishies from the iTunes app store for Nathan to play with. It seemed innocent enough — a free iPhone app that let him create a virtual fish tank. Looked like fun.
When Nathan called me over, asking if he could buy some pearls for his new fish tank to get more items…”

And then there are the kids who are a bit older and wiser as to how the system works.

Mollierosev tweets:

My parents + little bro have a constant iTunes war going on. He buys music, they yell, he waits a few days and buys again.

But I think Issascrazyworld had the solution:

$25 bucks on puzzles on the ipad from one kid. CD on an iTouch from another. I changed passwords & put them on Plane mode.

Brilliant. I’m off to change my iTunes password, put the iPad in plane mode, and have a nice long talk with my kids about what to do when that blue screen pops up…and then after we’ll tend to our incredibly expensive fake fish.

Politics & News Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest

Filed Under: #suckit, BlogHer

Junky

November 5, 2010 by Queen of Spain 23 Comments

I started injections this week. Lupus is a conniving bitch that keeps trying to outwit my body. But we’re ahead of her.

That doesn’t make this any easier though. I feel like my husband having to pick up syringes at the pharmacy takes us to another new and elevated level of crazy around here. Now it’s not just pills and creams, it’s needles. And that scares me.

What comes next? Nurses in my home? Tanks of oxygen or tubes or IVs?

I want to believe that this is run-of-the-mill. That diabetics and others do this all the time and this is just not a big deal and I need not freak out about it.

But that’s not entirely true. I now have to inject myself weekly in order to keep Lupus in it’s cage.

The kids haven’t seen the needles yet. I’m sure at some point I will explain, and they can watch if they want. But of course I worry how they will process this in their tiny brains. I worry how my very needle-phobic husband will cope if I have to teach him how to administer the meds.

Yet another hurdle in what seems like a never-ending battle.

#SUCKIT Lupus. YOU WILL NOT defeat me. I will stab myself happily and mock you as I do it. Keep throwing your best at us, and we will keep knocking you back. This week you even flared as I returned to work- sending my inflammation markers back up and my energy back down.

But I don’t care. I’m over you. Done. Bring your needles and whatever comes next. I’m ready.