Xoxo,
Jack
6-years old
Ways you can help in Haiti:
Haiti Love
January 14, 2010 by 11 Comments
A Spoonful of Sugar
January 11, 2010 by 6 Comments
I came home from a quick doctor’s appointment this weekend only to have my 4-year old cling to my leg and wrap herself around me so if I walked, she was dragged along.
Later in the day she asked me how I was feeling. A 4-year old…asking how *I* was feeling.
I’m fine honey. I just have a little infection. The doctor gave me medicine and I’ll feel better in no time.
She blinked her long lashes and snuggled closer to me.
I’m glad you came home from the doctor, Mommy.
Of course I came home sweetie. I always come home.
There was a tiny sigh.
No you don’t Mommy. Sometimes you don’t come home. Like that one time.
Realizing now why she clung to me as I walked in, I tried to explain…
You mean when Mommy was in the hospital? Oh sweetie I know you didn’t like that, did you?
Nods.
Sometimes we get sick. And doctors and the people at the hospital need to help us. But right now Mommy just has a kind of cold that gave her an infection. Just a runny nose. You get runny noses all the time, right?
More nods.
Well it’s just like that honey. It’s just a runny nose. I’m not going to be in the hospital again because of this runny nose, ok?
It was here I stopped myself. Knowing how suddenly I was hospitalized before, and how long it lasted, I was afraid of promising her anything. I mean, what if I was hit by a truck tomorrow? But I was dying inside, I wanted to reassure her that every single time I headed out to a doctor’s appointment, I would be coming back.
And I didn’t know how to do that without lying.
I’m finding more and more that telling my children the truth about the world is harder and harder. Bad things happen. Mommies do end up in the hospital. Sometimes they don’t come home from doctor’s appointments.
Of course I do tell them the truth. In ways they can understand and handle, I know I can’t lie. But for every tough lesson…there has to be a good one, right?
So today as my tiny girl watched me take my antibiotics… I reached down with one hand as I took a swig of water to swallow my pill…and I tickled her. Now mind you, I’m not big on rough housing, and tickling in our house always seems to lead to rough housing. So this was huge.
She was nearly frozen with surprise.
MOMMMMMMY!
And a huge grin came over her face.
What? I was just taking my medicine…
I had a few more pills to take so I gave her a devilish look and popped them in my mouth. As my hand and water glass rose to my lips I bent down with the other hand and tickled again.
MOOOOOMMMMYYYY!
And fits of laughter poured out of her.
I told you honey, I’m just taking my medicine…
More giggles and grins.
I like how you take your medicine Mom.
Me too baby, me too.
Spankers Can #Suckit
January 5, 2010 by 71 Comments
It’s been awhile since I’ve jumped into the traditional parenting wars. With my mind usually on politics and how that affects my family, and those diaper and breastfeeding days long behind me, it’s been easier to ignore the usual tiffs that pop up in the parenting blogosphere.
Until today, when I came across this new study basically saying hitting your kids can have some benefits.
I’m guessing hitting your wife can have some benefits too. Keeping her in line, and what not. Hell, I would probably vacuum more often if I thought my husband would hurt me if I didn’t. Smacking your dog around probably has some benefits too, I mean…I bet you that mutt won’t pee on the carpet again if you give him a really good whack! So why not, Jr. too?
After all , you are much bigger than your child. Much more intimidating. And your little bundle of joy no doubt trusts you more than any other person on earth. Trusts you with a love and devotion only a helpless child can. So why not purposefully inflict pain upon that sweet face? Right?
Yeah, I have some strong opinions on this.
I will admit to having whacked a child on the butt once, out of frustration and anger. And it not only served zero good but also served to make me feel like a rotten bully. I broke our trust. I’m my child’s protector, not his monster. And the example I set by intimidating with pain and violence and fear isn’t one I want emulated.
This really isn’t one of those issues where we’ll agree to disagree or anything, and that’s ok. I’m never going to believe threatening or inflicting pain on a child as a way to keep that child in line is ok, and you’ll continue to see no harm (emotionally or physically) in the occasional spank that “doesn’t leave a mark.”
So why bring up this study? Because I’m afraid it will give abusers backing to keep doing what they are doing. Because I’m afraid it will keep up that traditional idea that a good spanking is your God given right to dole out as an American parent.
And I’m afraid it will negate the piles upon piles of other studies showing just how harmful your little whacks really are to your child’s heart, mind, and body.
But never mind that, because you’ll continue to do how you do and I’ll continue to do how I do and we won’t agree. And as a respectful adult I’ll have to suck it up and say things like “I guess we just parent differently” and “well that’s just not how we do things in our house.” And you will go your way thinking I’m crazy and I’ll go mine. Such is life, right?
However, I would ask that you remember when my kid makes the right choice, stays out of trouble, or otherwise does the right thing…it won’t be out of fear…it will be out of love.
