Magic Hats – The Ridiculous Collection

There have been hats that have come to my door stitched with love and care.

There have been hats that have come to my door with cards attached that have made me weep.

And then there have been hats that have come to my door that had me laughing so hard, I nearly wet my pants.

Ladies and gentlemen…I give you two of the most ridiculous hats to grace my doorstep:

That hat says #suckitLUPIS ... yes, Lupis ... which make it even more hilarious

In case I ever turn Republican, or a Ted Nugent fan, or decide I want to finally watch the whole ‘Wolverine!’ crap ass movie my husband and every other American male loves so much…this hat is for YOU. Yes, my good friend, and college floormate Karie sent this beauty from Arizona. Not only is it camo, but it also has not one but TWO flashlights to keep me shining brightly in the dark. But I’ve saved the best part for last…Karie had the had stitched to say “suckit lupis” …. snort. Yes. Lupis. Which is actually appropriate because Lupus is entirely pissy and makes me pissed.

Speaking of piss…

Tanis aka the Redneck Mommy sent me a doozy. A real, totally authentic Toque from the Great White North. Yes…Canada.

Of course the problem being she sent me some dumb ass team from up there…they had some dumb ass guy that was pretty popular with Canadians for a while. But what do they know, they like Nickleback and Justin Bieber.

So, in true ‘I’m from Detroit and the rest of you can bite me’ form, I took this:


That’s right…the Octopus is EATING the Toque. Ahhhh, I feel better.

For more about the Magic Hat project, started by my loving husband and pushed entirely out of control by YOU, click here.


  1. See…they are so crazy people are speechless

  2. It worries me that you have an “in case I ever turn republican” scenario.

  3. Oh oh oh Dead Cow Girl, it’s much like my Zombie Apocalypse scenario – I don’t expect it to happen, but I have to be ready…just in case. I mean, I can FAKE Republican so I don’t get thrown in their internment camps…..

  4. I have a hat I want to get for you…just waiting to have the extra money…

  5. #suckitlupis clearly needs to become your official hashtag!!

  6. I think I would prefer a zombie apocalypse to a republican internment camp.

  7. You could totally wear that first hat as ACTUAL CAMOUFLAGE here in Missouri. You’d blend right in at the truck stop.

  8. I googled “fucking fours” tonight and found you, and loved your post (thank you!). Then somehow caught sight of “lupus” on one of your other posts and felt like I may have had a shitty day with my fucking 4 year old in order to possibly help you…

    Long story short, my MIL has Lupus as well as 2 uncles Totally unrelated, sort of, my kids have been sick a lot since birth along with behavior issues and digestion problems. We’ve tried a lot of different things to help the kids over the years between books, therapists, diet changes etc. When medication was suggested, I said no chance until I do everything I can to figure out the root of this. I had heard about gluten free/casein free diets helping kids with behavior issues so I said let’s do it. Then I started to learn about gluten intolerance and celiacs (behavior issues being one side effect, autoimmune being another…). Then many pieces of the puzzle came together for so many family members and our ailments, the list is long and it all pointed to a gluten intolerance (which runs in families).

    My MIL had experiemented with decreasing her gluten intake years ago but didn’t go full on gluten free (it’s in SO much food, cosmetics, toothpaste, etc). She said when she limited her gluten, she did start to feel better, clear head, better joint mobility, energy etc. Then she found it hard with everyone eating gluten filled goodies around her that she gave it up, not really realizing the scope of positive impact it had on her. Now she’s gearing up to join us in eliminating all gluten to see how it goes for her.

    If you google lupus & gluten intolerance or celiacs, there are loads of resources, blogs and testimonials from those with lupus who have tried the GF route and have seen great changes It’s sad but most doctors say it’s bull and doesn’t help. I used to listen to them, no longer, we are feeling the effects and it’s been awesome.

    Or maybe you know about all this already. I just thought it was worth mentioning because we’ve seen first hand how brutal lupus can be.

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