Monday Confessional

I have a confession. I am ashamed, I am mortified, but those who know me well will probably only shake their heads.

I love Christmas music. I love it so much it makes me cry.

I listen to it in the car. I secretly can’t wait for Thanksgiving, because I KNOW that at least one adult contemporary station will start playing it 24/7.

I sing Bing Crosby and Madonna versions of the classics to the kids in my minivan and weep. They look and me like I’m insane, but who the hell doesn’t???

But my problem goes deeper. Despite my amazingly indie husband and his vast music knowledge, I love me some “night time love songs” and Chistmas schmaltz crap-o-rama. At the heart of the matter: I am just NOT cool. I like to pretend I’m cool, but I’m not. Sure, I’ve got the tattoos and the Uggs and the current event knowledge, but at the heart of it all I’m a HUGE dork. There is no other word for it…I’m a DORK.

Give me some Yo La Tango and Rollins Band vs. some crap Anita Baker and Luther Vandross and go ahead and guess which way I’ll go. Sure, I’ll TELL you how much I love my hubby’s super hip choices, yet secretly I’m pining for that A/C shit.

And I know it’s shit. I do. I just can’t help it. It makes me all teary and happy and Julia Robert’s Movie happy ending. It does. I know, I know, it’s so sad. You might as well just throw some chick lit and chocolates at me and call me a lost cause. Despite my best efforts to be deep and meaningful and all edu-ma-cated and crap, I’ll take Gone With the Wind and Sleepless in Seattle over some flipping documentary any damn day of the week.

I suck. And admitting it is the first step.

Now you know the real me. Go ahead and pick on me, my husband does. As do all those who know and love me. But try and take my Vanessa Williams and I’ll beat your ass.


  1. Wow…I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one! My husband has already tried to hide my Christmas CDs on more than one occasion. I get so sentimental and girlie when I listen to Christmas music. So I won’t be picking on you, simply laughing the next time I want to break into tears because I’ll know I’m not alone!

  2. Dude, I almost CRIED at the mall watching a group of carolers. It was either the music itself or how much my girls were sincerely enjoying the music. Probably both.

    Worst of all, I tear up most when I hear religious carols, and I’m a friggin’ heathen.

  3. “Sometimes the snow comes down in June……sometimes the Sun Goes Round the Moon…..”
    sob sob sob.
    Yeah I know. I do it too. It’s fuckin embarrassing to have trite like that reducing you to a sobbing wreck.

  4. s’okay hon…we are all marshmallows deep down….

  5. Um, we can’t be friends anymore. Just so you know. You big pussy! 😉

  6. Hey i totally understand wht your sayin..but then God chose to give us both great left/right am proud of it! 😀

  7. I too love Christmas music. I have been listening to it constantly since Thanksgiving (fyi: Sarah Mclachlan has a great new cd out.) The important thing to remember is that you are not alone. At least when it comes to holiday music, sappy movies and chicklit. I draw the line at Luthor Vandross and Vanessa Williams. And I would never make fun or pick on you, not when I have a love of romance novels and CW programming in my closet. Keep on rocking the Vandross.

  8. The day after Thanksgiving, it becomes all Christmas music all the time with me. It’s what I listen to in the car, in the house, it’s the songs I sing to the baby when I rock her to sleep. I love the Time-Life Treasury of Christmas, I love Christmas with the Rat Pack, I even love those CDs they sell at Kohl’s every year.

    Just don’t make fun of me for liking “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey. I can’t help myself.

  9. Well, what I can say for a fact is that you are not a dork… a dork is a whale penis, and they tend to be ten feet long.

    Yep, definitely NOT a dork!

  10. So then the radio station here in Orlando that plays love songs in the evenings you must miss teribly, huh? 🙂

    I happen to like jazzy remakes of Christmas tunes, so fire up the dorkmobile, I’m joining the tour!


  11. I watch ugly betty for many reasons – Vanessa Williams is certianly one of them- You just got all kinds of cool points fromme missy –

  12. Whew… I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has these feelings about Christmas music, now I don’t feel so bad. But since I’m a man, I’m sure there is some ‘man code’ that I am breaking.

    You want some good schmaltz christmas music? Try Aly & AJ’s Christmas album. They’re from Disney channel so you know it’s gonna be saccharinated to the hilt.

    A station here in Chicago started playing all-Christmas music all the time two weeks before Thanksgiving.

  13. I must admit my husband hides my Christmas CD’s the day after Christmas as he can not take it anymore…
    But I LOVE Elvis’ Blue Christmas it gets me every time…
    I belt out Joy to the World…
    And know all the words to a twelve Days of Christmas…
    But I draw the line at the Julia Roberts movies… and Vanessa Williams…oooooo….

  14. I’m caught in this weird place because I love the songs, especially the classics like “O Holy Night” but I am not a Real Believer in the Christmas story – virgin birth, whatevah. So I am belting out “This is the night…of our dear Savior’s birth,” all the while thinking “Savior? Really?”

  15. Alright, you are making me confess that I sing the Christmas music in church and I am the ONLY one who starts crying halfway through. It’s embarrassing. My nickname from the choir is “the crying lady in church”. It’s terrible. This is why I won’t join the choir, because I’d cry all through it!

  16. I cry everytime I hear Kathy Mattea sing Mary Did You Know?

    My husband loves Richard Marx songs. “He is a lyrical and musical GENUIS!” he says. I love schmaltzy songs too. They are comfort food for your ears.

    My work just changed satellite stations and yay for me, the only music playing (besides holiday stuff for now) is my entire jr high and high school soundtrack. I am loving it and even more so when the “kids” ask “Who is Martika?” or “Who the hell is Morris Day?” Of course I also want to smack them but I’m too busy singing. Loudly. Proudly.

  17. Okay, I’m not down with the A/C, but I cry whenever I hear a boy or a man sing “The Little Drummer Boy”.

    Then again, I cry whenever I see the episode where Monica proposes to Chandler, so I am kind of a girl.

  18. Dork here too…I LOVE Christmas music..sing a long in the stores love it.

  19. DUDE. ‘O Holy Night’ makes me sob. “Faaaaaalllll on your kneeeeees” SOB. GASP.

    It’s shameful. Shameful.

  20. Sign me up…

    The older I get, the easier I cry too.

  21. Since I moved to the US, nothing gets me into the Christmas mood like Feliz Navidad or (dare I say it) Alvin and the Chipmunks singing about a hula hoop!

  22. canoe chick says:

    oh my god I thought it was just me that loved Christmas songs so much…although I guess I should have figured it out, because our AC station also plays them 24/7 starting on Dec. 1st! I too cry when for Mary Did You Know (that started when I was pregnant, but it hasn’t let up and now she is 2). Speaking of which, does anyone have a good kids album of Christmas tunes to recommend? I need to start the indoctrination early…

  23. Slipshod HATES it when I turn on the “Holiday Tunes” channel on the DVR. I have even been known to pull out my old Amy Grant Christmas CD… hee hee… I hear ya.

  24. you can only be truly cool if you can come to terms with your dork side. embrace it.

    i’m now going to give the radio christmas music another chance because of you.

    and i concur with the nightime love songs. but i do not indulge. maybe i’ll start that up, too.

    ps i like show tunes

  25. You’re the only one I feel I can come to with this.

    *Deep breath* Ok. I’m usually not a big proponent of the uber-sap, but I LOVE “The Gift” by Jim Brickman and Martina McBride.

    There, I said it. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem…

  26. Um. Have you seen this?

  27. You know, this entry puzzled me totally.

    Not because you listen to so-called bad musical taste (or your definition of it), but because you feel the need to justify and apologise to your blog world for it.

    It just does not seem like you to apologize for “being you.” Hey, you like what you like! To hell with everyone else.

  28. I’m one more of those who cry at Christmas songs,especially when singing them. My grown-up sons kindly look the other way while my almost 30 daughter just looks exasperated!

  29. Viva la dorkdom!

  30. My radio is tuned to the 24/7 station. I love going to church this time of year too. for the music. My kids love to relive the pain of the Christmas trips when Mom would make them sing Christmas carols all the way. And, funny thing when we went to visit our son recently we all piled in the minivan to go eat dinner. My husband and I exchanged a glance and laughed. Son had it tuned to one of the 23/7 stations. So it’s genetic.

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