I’ve been in denial for a bit, but ok…fine: I’m a geek.
A total GEEK.
The blogging, the second life, the betas, the twitter.
It’s really NOT the core of who I am it is simply the tools I use to mouth off. So really, I’m just loud and using tech to be LOUDER.
By default that means I see and hear a lot of crap about that whole ‘girls don’t like science and tech’ bullshit that flies around our lives. I’ve seen the many, many, many examples of the very FEW number of women speaking at tech conferences. I’ve heard the arguments that we’re ignored and I’ve heard the arguments that we don’t pitch ourselves like the boys do.
I’ve found myself on BOTH sides of this debate wondering if it was maybe a little of both, a conspiracy by the patriarchy, and a lack of interest by women.
Nothing prepared me for reality.
Photos from the birthday party for my 5-year old and 3-year old this weekend.
Behold as this feminist geek gets to the bottom of what is really going on:
Galileo vs. Paris Hilton
I think that’s what the boys call-Epic Fail
It is not that I fault the gifts. They are exactly what my children wanted. It was that I realized how their preferences were splitting directly down those stereotyped gender lines.
It made me angry.
So let us all just put an end to what is going on in our tech/social media/web world when it comes to gender: It is all my fault.
I love Sir Charles. And I don’t mean I love him like I love my kids or I love him like I love red gummy Swedish fish. I mean…I LOVE CHARLES BARKLEY!
Yeah, it’s a scream-it-from-the-rooftops kind of love.
Back when I was young and spry (because I’m convinced I am now old and flabby- no really-you should see the stretch marks) I played basketball and adored Chuck. Between Rick Mahorn and Charles Barkley I really needed no other men in my life.
In fact, one of the greatest lessons I ever learned just might have been from Sir Charles.
In 1993, back when I was graduating High School and idolizing a then First Lady Rodham Clinton, Charles Barkley declared sports figures should not be considered role models. There was more, and there was a lot of discussion about turning celebrities or public figures into icons.
I made a mental note, and went about my life.
It’s now 2008 and I can unabashedly say Barkley was right about the role model thing. He’s been right about a few other things since then, but I am now CERTAIN that public figures as role models are a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD idea.
Where in the hell is Erin going with this…
I am now completely and totally disappointed, to the point of heartbreak, in Senator Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinem.
Disgusted, actually.
Two women who I spent many of my young years idolizing and championing have turned into establishment game-playing, fear mongering, surrogate talking-point spouting hacks.
They are so far into the system they can’t even see the rest of us, die hard feminist fans, out here gaping at them.
Mouth wide open when we watch this:
Mouth wide open when we read this.Gaping.Wondering where the women I knew have gone. Wondering if they will find their “voice” or their conscience. Wondering if they even realize what is happening to them. Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones I’m looking at you too.
However, in the end it is my fault. I held them up. I obviously turned them into something they are not, all those years.
My daughter woke up screaming today yelling “THERE IS DOG POOP IN MY BED! GET IT OUT!”
We don’t have a dog.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I rolled over to find my husband walking into the room, “it’s cat puke. And it’s on the floor.” And then he proceeded to go about his morning routine.
Apparently it’s just assumed I’m the cat puke cleaner-but whatever.
Despite 10 minutes of telling our little peanut this was cat sick and not dog poop-she still insisted it was dog poop and insisted it was in her bed. Again, whatever.
I cleaned, she cried, and then she told me how her stuffed dog poops.
Oh goodie. More beings to clean up after.
I’ve never really worried about my daughter’s animal fetish until now. She wants a horse, and since that’s totally out of the question it never really spent much time in my mind-but this new puppy fetish is getting out of hand.
She asked her DAD for a puppy the other day and I swore he couldn’t even LOOK at her when he said “no.”
Yeah, Daddy’s cracking.
But more importantly-she’s carrying a puppy everywhere. School, wherever. And while I’m thrilled it’s replaced the horse-head on a stick she was RIDING everywhere-I’m not liking the idea of being cat sick cleaner-upper and dog poop cleaner-upper.
Or am I?
Friends with animals-how old were your kids when they started REALLY taking care of them-or let me rephrase that-how old were they when you MADE them do it?
Don’t get me wrong, I highly doubt any new animals are entering this home anytime soon. But if I’m cleaning up stuffed dog shit from the carpet, anything is possible.
Up until about 4-6 weeks ago, my daughter was nothing like me. She was sweet and quiet and shy. She picked flowers and sang to blue birds perched on her finger. Yes, the bluebirds harmonized with her.
I was confident she was going to be one of those sweet, nice, sunshine smile kind of girls. The kind and gentle voice of reason to her slutty, stupid girlfriends. Studious. Polite to a fault. Teachers pet. You’re getting the picture here, right?
Well, apparently at 2 1/2 years old she’s just NOW decided that halo-polishing baby I knew was just an act. We’ve entered classic terrible two territory with the “NO!” and “I DO IT MYSELF” but with a Princess Peanut Punk as Fuck TWIST-she’s got a hair flip, eyelash bat, head cock thing going on that scares the bejeeezus out of me.
She is going to CRUSH men. CRUSH them.
In the meantime, she’s crushing me. I tell her “no” and I get an “I want DADDY!” in response. I say “stop that right now” and I get a “NO Mommy” then she grabs my cheeks and kisses me on the lips. As if to say, “I’m not going to do what you say, but I’m cute and loving and I will at least give you a nice kiss before defying you, silly woman.”
I’m fucked.
Time outs are not working. Taking away toys seems to only fuel her evil. I took away a beloved baby and she said (and I’m not kidding here) “pffffffffffffft.” She pfffffft’d my punishment and walked away.
I keep reminding myself we went through this with Count Waffles, and he’s now a model citizen. I keep telling myself its just another phase and it will pass.
In all honesty, I’m not sure. The hair flip, head cock, eyelash bat thing-is beyond “phase.” Its possible I inadvertently taught her how to work a man. She’s using it against me. She’s using it against her father. She’s using it against the world.
I blame myself of course. I obviously showed her my wily ways. I didn’t realize she was soaking it in, but…there it is. OR, maybe its just in the DNA? She’s got some female Queen-gene that helps her pout her lips and lean her head on her father’s shoulder at JUST the right, somewhat evil, moment.
What I need to remember here is that I’M the Queen. I’m the ALPHA female in THIS house. I will not fear her. I will not give in to her. I’m not going to fold at a mere eyelash bat, sulk episode in my kitchen.
