Because we must

Not one of us is a stable mother. Wife. Friend.

Not one.

There are days I want to run away. There are days I don’t want leave home.

There are days I want to chuck my Paxil in the pool and just see what will come.

The weight gain can’t be worth it.

There are also days, like today, when I find myself blogging at 430am. I just finished a very long night with a friend who, like me, is not a stable wife or mother.

We are NOT our mothers, yet we are not perfect. We are NOT crazy, yet we are certainly not sane.

We are also NOT alone.

I have found myself detached lately. From friends, family, my husband, my children, my life. Nothing severe…but enough to make me take notice. I will not continue life this way. I will not fear owning up to my problems. Owning up to my crazy gene. Fine. Its there. It can make me powerful and it can make me weak. It can make me successful and it has nearly destroyed everything.
Some of us are kidding ourselves. Some of us are medicating ourselves. Some of us are self treating and some of us are destroying our lives.

In support of those mothers around us who need to ask for help…talk to your friends today. Talk to you sisters. Talk to you aunts. Talk to your daughters. Be woman and help a woman today. Encourage her to seek help. Send her your support to NOT BE AFRAID.

I’m going to call today. Encourage the women you love to do the same. They need you.


  1. “I have found myself detached lately. From friends, family, my husband, my children, my life. Nothing severe…but enough to make me take notice”.

    It’s the paxil, I think.

    Have a look at Seroxat Secrets or Paxil Progress.

    Good luck.

  2. I think you just got spammed.

    I’ve been in your shoes before and it’s not fun. All you can do it take it day by day and take care of YOU.

    (((big fat hugs)))

  3. While you’re on the phone, can you call me, too? I need a swift kick in the virtual arse.

    I’m not feeling stable either…..but I’m fighting my way through it. I just have to.

  4. This whole thing is why I never had much to say about Britney Spears. I always feel I am about one little step away from snapping. So she did, it could have been anyone. People are so afraid of looking “crazy” that they fail to be human sometimes.

  5. I’ve been there, and I’m not even a mother. Sometimes you just need to curl up with a girlfriend and drink hot chocolate and eat ice cream.

    And I don’t know about you, but my mother certainly was not perfect.

  6. Thank you for this. Good reminder for all of us. WE ARE NOT ALONE. IT WILL GET BETTER. TOGETHER, WE CAN SURVIVE and THRIVE.

  7. Take care of yourself and know that you are supported by all your readers. All my thoughts and good wishes are with you.

  8. canoe chick says:

    Your Majesty,
    Once again, you are note perfect. I am right there with you…my 2 week old baby still has not figured out breastfeeding, and right now it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I am home all by myself, with her and my 2 year-old, and boy could I ever use a community of women right now! Thank goodness for virtual friends at least…I am learning, slowly, to ask for help when I need it. Thanks for reminding me that it is the right thing to do. And know that whatever good thoughts I can spare, I am sending them to you!

  9. Dearest Queen,

    I think about that imperfection often myself. I turn around in my head how I felt growing up with a less than perfect mother and how I felt so cheated knowing that ALL my other friends houses were filled with love, support, chocolate chip cookies and understanding. And then I had dinner at a few houses during my late high school years and I could see the crazy that lives in every single house.

    My mom made a lot of mistakes and bad choices but I know for sure it was done with love and understanding in mind even if it got lost in the translation.

    Children know realness. Children know true love and kindness. Forgive yourself (easier said than done for me..) and you can a let a lot more in.

    My mom has been dead for 9 years this December and has never met my children or watched me be a mother but I know even without her shadow in real life (it is always virtual) that I am making similiar mistakes and I know I am doing the best I can.

    I hope, dear Queen that you are remembering that your best effort is not only good enough but just fine.

    ALSO, Canoe Chick…email me…or some other La Leche League Leader…don’t suffer through breastfeeding!

  10. Right on.

    Crazy seems to be the talk of the day. Last night I broke down crying and couldn’t even tell my husband why I was crying, because even I wasn’t entirely sure. I’ve been feeling isolated and cut off from everyone, too. Some of it may be pregnancy depression, some of it may be due to having too much to do.

    I agree we need to give our support to our fellow women and let them know they’re not alone. And we need to find our own inner strength to not let ourselves fall into these dark places.

  11. You are truly a queen.

  12. came here from Karen’t blog …. this is a great post!!! somehow seeing your opening statement caught me off guard. I sure as heck don’t think of myself as stable. I know others whoa ren’t. but somehow in my head I had this picture that there ARE a bunch out there who are stable, who are ok, who have Got Things Right. you’re right though, thank you.

  13. I am feeling detached too. I have a few friends but don’t want to call them. What is it? I am checking my thyroid and hope I have a problem because I want to get out of this funk…

  14. thecrankyone says:

    I’m the mother of a teenager, but I can very much relate. With all that is going on, there are many days I wish I could just stay in my bed for a week, but yet I get up and go on anyway. Some days are good, others suck

  15. I thought that I was the only one who felt that way. Thanks Queen for making it a “real” problem for more than just myself. It’s always nice to know that there are people out there who are going through something similar to you.

  16. This has to be one of the best post I have ever read.

    It is so wonderful the community of online friends who are supporting each other.

    As for the OTHERS, well, obviously they are incapable of being a real friend.

    I love Karen to pieces, even if I have never met her and probably never will. And I’m glad you are there to help her through this.

    For that, Thank you.

  17. Thanks for being there for Karen, its not hard to see at all that you’ve already helped her a great deal.

    And your completely right. To be 100% sane and perfect is not normal, everyone has that crazy gene.

  18. I find it interesting that you left talking to a professional off your list.

  19. It happens to all of us for various reasons, (just check my post)
    Been there and am so glad I now know that there is nothing wrong in asking for hugs, help, hot coffee, whatever.

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