I’m getting myself very out of sorts lately following all the J&J, Disney drama. It has nothing to do with who got invited, who got snubbed, who got an email, who got a pitch, who is going, who is staying silent.
Nothing.
It has everything to do with the buzz word of the moment: ‘brand.’
I didn’t believe it either, then all these other people told me. Not that I needed them telling me, it was just the wake-up call to a slumber that started somewhere in San Jose about 2006 when I was cornered between a Weight Watcher representative, a Disney PR person, and a cameraman, all while nursing my daughter in the middle of a conference.
The proof is not in the community we’ve created. The proof is not in the ad checks we receive. The proof is not in the press or the interviews or the issuing of credentials to important functions.
The proof, my dear friends, is in the shift in corporate America.
Remember when we used to say “if only they knew how great and powerful we are they’d partner with us and pay to have us use their shit and we’ll all live happily every after!”
Guess what-they know. They know, they’re pitching, and they are finding you a wide-eyed doe in an open field. Not that I don’t love my does, but it is time to be re-educated in Mommyblogging. More important the BUSINESS of Mommyblogging.
I don’t know about you, but when I started Queen of Spain it was because I was at home with kids and needing something. I needed to get out my fears and my frustrations. I needed to talk about what I loved about being a mother, what I loathed about being a mother, and I needed to find other mothers like me to talk more about what we liked about being mothers, what we loathed about being mothers, and so on and so on.
Very few of us went into this thinking we were doing anything other than writing, finding friends, talking shop. Even fewer of us went into this realizing we were creating a business.
I want you to understand in no uncertain terms: Mommyblogging is a business.
I know half of you are shaking your heads and saying things like “I’m not really here for that, I just want to lament about potty training and gab with my girlfriends and maybe make a few extra bucks to pay a few bills.”
While all of that is true, understand you have graduated from “make a few extra bucks” to “they want us so bad they are sending us on all expense paid trips, filling our inboxes with press releases (fyi PR peeps-I’m not the New York Times I’m a mommyblog. If I were a reporter your release might come in handy, in my email-not so much) and partnering with some of us to consult, sit on a focus group, even blog on their corporate website.
You. Are. A. Business.
Here’s the problem: most of us don’t know shit about business (myself included) and they are taking advantage of our ignorance.
I am the first to admit I want an open and transparent partnership with companies that come a courtin’. But I want it at market value. If my market is WOMEN ONLINE, what’s the value?
Recently I about lost my mind reading a very sweet post over at the LadyBug and her Blogging Mama. It’s something that has popped up a few times on many of the blogs discussing all the recent PR and marketing dust ups.
The idea goes if we are not nice to corporate muckity mucks, and if we don’t mind our Ps and Qs like good little girls, none of us will get flown anywhere, ever again, and we’ll be stuck to wallow in our silly little community. In other words: ‘you Mommybloggers need to quit your bitching or the big boys and their big money are going to go away.’
Heh.
As you can imagine I started to type a rather half-crazed response, when I noticed something else over at Self-Made Mom’s comment section,
“This Disney event was a test, one that now may not soon be duplicated.”-Maria Bailey
Now for those who don’t know, Maria is paid by Disney to arrange these sorts of meetings. Maria contacted me in September of last year to attend a similar event for Halloween. We went. We had fun. Apparently no one objected to it being held on Satan’s Holiday and all went off without a hitch.
I too have consulted, and have gotten paid, by Disney to help them better understand Mommyblogs.
They paid me $6,000 for what essentially amounted to a few emails, a survey, and a meeting. (that last sentence is called being TRANSPARENT-goes right along with that ‘brand’ word we discussed at the beginning)
But here is the important part and why I am pointing out Maria’s quote- “…one that may not soon be duplicated…” which, in my opinion, implies Disney told her to this isn’t going to happen again if we keep yapping on our blogs.
Despite the fact that I’m a bit confused by this is an ‘experiment’ when I did something similar months upon months ago and it was a huge success, (and they did something in Palo Alto awhile back too) I’m more confused by Disney possibly not wanting to connect with influential Moms. Or the idea that companies don’t want to come inside social media and use us as their advertising because we might actually talk back.
At what point did I miss them not needing Moms. Are you seriously trying to backhandedly threaten me, and imply Disney doesn’t need Moms? Are you telling me Johnson and Johnson doesn’t need Moms to buy their baby shampoo too? Maybe they will market J&J babywash to single males instead??
If sales are dropping dramatically for magazines, if viewership has dropped dramatically for television, if MILLIONS OF MOTHERS ARE NOW ONLINE READING AND WATCHING AND CONSUMING are you really trying to tell me my mouth is what is going to drive them back into their corporate headquarters???!!!
“Oh, shit! Those Moms have OPINIONS! Holy fuck! Quick-get me the best team in the world and let’s figure out how to get all those Moms offline and BACK watching Days of Our Lives because marketing to a person as opposed to throwing a shitty 30 second spot together is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too hard!”
…and then Mr. CEO realizes we still hold the pursestrings and he doesn’t have a motherfreaking choice. He has to assemble that social media team to come play by our rules or we’re buying the organic shampoo at half the price a friend of a friend blogged about last week.
My latest and greatest concern in this entire Mommyblogging Coming Out party is very simple: don’t be a sucker. I too have been a sucker, don’t be me.
Take the free trip but take it knowing what it means for your brand. Take the free box of diapers understanding this is a business deal. Treat all of this not like a star-struck fan, happy to get some bibs in the mail, treat it LIKE A BUSINESS.
They want you to blog their product? Charge them for ad space. They want to know if you think other Mommybloggers will like their new website? Charge them a consulting fee.
And for good measure, you might want to know who you are dealing with on the other end. They want a piece of the action too, and allegedly don’t mind stretching the truth to get it.
This is business, not personal. This is about me saying ‘yes, I help out Photrade.com and if I ask you about using our new ad format -this is business.’ This is about you saying ‘yes, I’m blogging this humidifier because some PR company sent it to me, and they followed up with 30 emails and I’m afraid if I don’t say Vic’s Humidifier on my blog they may never send me anything again.’
This is also about realizing the true value of our community and what it’s become. Make no mistake, they need you-make them treat you appropriately.
Because I like to drop large bombs before I skip town, please enjoy this piece here, at MOMocrats, and at Huffington Post as I board a flight to SXSW in Austin, Texas.
You see, I’ve actually been biting my tongue on her writing thus far. Her posts have been circulated amongst colleagues and friends with subject lines like “WTF?” and “Roseanne can suck it.”
Since I am very pro ‘discussion’ and ‘let’s write about it and talk’ I figured it was only fair I took on the idea of ‘Bow to the Woman‘ here in a public forum where we can all get in on the act.
Like you, I love me some mouthy women. Your gal the Senator, she’s got you snowed. It’s ok, she had me under her spell for a long time too. But understand, she’s not a mouthy woman like you and I are mouthy women. Nope. She’s a power hungry elitist happy to spoon feed you what you want to hear to get your vote. Pure-bred politician. Could that be a plus? Sure. She’s on our side, right? But like many in this country I’m not really into politics as usual anymore. I’ve had it. I’m done. I don’t want the woman who can play the game with the boys, I want the woman who refuses to play the game and blazes her own path.
Senator Clinton is not blazing her own path, she’s doing what all the good old boys have done before her.
Can I just say ‘meh.’
Now onto this business of ‘Bow to the Woman’ and what not. When I first read your post I assumed it was satire. It HAS TO BE SATIRE. Because Roseanne Barr would never write something as offensive as suggesting a black man bow to a white woman…right? She certainly wouldn’t be one of Clinton’s loudest and biggest supporters saying things like, “You can’t fight back dirtier than she can…”
You can’t really be suggesting that right now, as Samantha Power sits jobless…right?
In the event your are, in fact, serious I’d like to introduce you to a few people. Meet my friends.
Let’s start with CityMama and fellow MOMocrat Stefania Pomponi Butler,
“Dear Roseanne Barr,
Forgive me for not being convinced by your argument. I have a hard time taking anyone who picked Tom Arnold for a husband seriously. “Bow to the woman?” This isn’t some sado-masochistic bedroom fantasy we’re playing out here. This is the race for the presidency. It’s not about bowing to a woman, it’s about who is most qualified to lead our country. Who inspires people young and old to get out and vote in record numbers. Who inspires record-breaking donations and moving musical tributes. $55 million raised in February alone. You betchyerass none of those donors want Obama to “bow to the woman.” I am one of those donors and I as long as I haven’t reached my $2300 limit, Barack Obama ain’t going anywhere.
Let our country heal? Please. The person who should be blamed for not letting our country heal is Polarizing (not “Premiere”) Hillary Clinton. She does not represent “the soul of the Democratic party.” Not by a long shot. She represents status quo and entrenched corporate interests. Yes, she is a woman, but she doesn’t represent me. I resent your implication that women are sitting around in their playgroups and coffee klatsches shaking their heads and tsk-tsking over the fact that Barack Obama won’t bow to the woman.
As long as we’re talking voting records, I’d like to know why Hillary hasn’t apologized for her vote for the Iraq War. And as long as we’re talking about bowing down, I’d also like to know why she bowed to George W. Bush’s will and voted for a resolution declaring the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization. Boy, that Soul of the Democratic party sure likes war! When comparing voting records, I’d like to start there.
Somewhere, in a hotel room or on a plane, Clinton advisors are huddled together wondering how they can get Roseanne Barr to STFU. Lead us, Roseanne. Show us how cooperation works: stop painting all women with the same, tired “support Hillary or else” brush. Believe it or not there are women in this country who are capable of voting for the best-qualified candidate, regardless of genitalia. And some of us will have proudly voted for two men (in my case John Edwards and Barack Obama) by the time this race is finished.”
“As a card carrying White Trash Mom, it pains me to disagree with you, Roseanne. You put WT Motherhood on the map.
You have a right to your opinion because this is America. But you presume too much by saying that Obama should give up because it’s a losing battle. Or because he can’t fight as dirty as Hillary Clinton. Your ” bow to the woman” is so focused on gender and negativity that it takes away from the remarkable progress that is being made this election year.
This year, a black man and a woman are the front runners because they are the best candidates…the best PEOPLE for the job. We are finally evolving as a country, moving forward to a place where character matters more than gender or race. Since your post mentioned Dr. King, I thought I would too:
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
Why not let America decide which candidate has the content of character to be President.
P.S. John McCain, far from being a Nazi, is a former prisoner of war and most liberals LOVE him.
Michael Kinsley’s recent TIME column, “Why Liberals Love McCain”.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1713490,00.html”
Just to mix it up a bit, here is Canadian Meg Fowler,
“I’m a Canadian — I can’t vote in the US election. And if you stop reading there, I don’t blame you.However, only the most geographically naive among us could miss that your country, Dear Americans, is right below mine. So what happens to you — politically, economically, culturally — definitely has an impact on what goes on up here. Sometimes more, sometimes less. In fact, a recent poll found that 15% of Canadians would give up their right to vote in Canadian elections to vote in the United States.
I’m one of them.
I believe that the choices you make in this upcoming election will have a profound impact on both the health and wellbeing of your own nation AND the world around you — including my own country. Full disclosure: I’m for Obama. Why? I believe he has the platform, vision, temperament, wisdom and leadership to bring your country to a far better place than the position you’re in now. I also believe Hilary could provide leadership — with a similar platform, to boot — but her ethical stances, the tenor of her campaign, and her divisive mentality don’t win me over at all.
That’s why I was so startled to read Rosanne Barr’s words on the Huffington Post about how she could bring ‘healing’ to the United States, and how Obama needs to ‘be a man’ and ‘take vice.’ There was so much irony undergirding her words that I actually thought the piece might be a joke. ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can’? ‘Your shrill attacks are alienating her voters’? ‘Live the dream of Dr. King’?
No, Roseanne. He WON’T fight back ‘dirty’ in her manner, because that’s a BAD thing. No, HER attacks are alienating her voters. Everything from your statements about demographics to your understanding of the political process was flawed, false, inflammatory… and increasingly in character with your hero’s campaign.
Any true feminist or believer in racial equality will tell you that the dream is to leave gender and race OUT of the vote, not to divide the party up along those lines, or to call people to act according to the colour of their skin or the parts in their panties. You are contributing to the problem, not the solution.. I support your right to support Hillary, but I hope you can come to do it on the basis of the issues and integrity.
Otherwise, you’d do well to join up with the Republicans… I hear they enjoy a good round of bad rhetoric when they’re not busy starting wars.”
How about a man’s perspective? Meet my friend Jeffrey,
“is it too much to ask Roseanne to make some of
these statements publicly (preferably while standing right next to
Clinton)? That should pretty much wrap up the nomination for
Obama. :-)”
“After reading Roseanne’s opinion piece on Huffington Post, I have to assume one of two things is true. She is either
1) Stupid or
2) Evil.
Either she is so stupid that she did not realize that telling a black man to ‘bow down’ would be seen as racist and offensive, or she is so evil that she knows and does not care.”
“I just read Barr’s post at Huffington. Which one of Roseanne’s personalities wrote that thing anyway? What I want to know is where she gets that Clinton represents the heart of the Democratic party? I’ve spoken with too many Democrats (and Republicans and Independents) that have said they are terrified of what a Hillary Clinton presidency would do to this nation.
Not only will she divide this country because of the extreme vitriol the Republicans have directed against any and all things Clinton. (Oh how I remember the witch hunts perpetrated by the right against Bill. How will it be any different with Hillary, who served as just one of many reasons for the hatred against Bill during his term in office.) She will divide this country because people hate her. They hate her because of who her husband is, they hate her because of her overweening ambition, they hate her because she is disingenuous, they hate her because she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Ambition is good, when it is checked by reason. There doesn’t seem to be anything keeping her ambition in check, it’s driven by power hunger. And that is scary. I think that Larry David had it right in his post about the Red phone commercial.
Erin, I keep stewing on this. Couple of more things.
Barr said ‘Many of Clinton’s backers are turned off due to the shrillness of the attacks your campaign has let loose on your opponent.’
What? Shrill? With the exception of the staffer who resigned over calling Clinton a monster I can’t remember ANY shrill attacks.
Barr also says: ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can — it will bury your message of hope and change. It obscures the message of the people in this party!’
WHAT? HE can’t fight DIRTIER THAN SHE CAN? So. It’s okay for Clinton to fight dirty and it doesn’t obscure the message of the people in this party? And excuse me, but I think that the fact that he DOES NOT fight dirty and keeps the tone of his message positive is exactly what this party needs. It’s what makes him look good and Clinton look shrill.
One other thing: what the hell with the ‘Bow to the woman’ ?!?! Really? That’s the message supporters of Clinton want to put out there? It is exactly what will continue to turn people away from her. Militant feminazis are what give feminism and women’s equal rights a bad name.
That is all. Sorry just had to get that off my chest. I’m finished for reals now. I promise. :)”
“I’m done holding on to the idea that Hillary Clinton is someone I could vote for, that her election as president would represent positive change for women and that her campaign will do anything less that substantially weaken, if not destroy, the Democratic party. If this is what Clinton’s campaign for president represents then she does not speak for me, she is not winning for me (remember she said her win in Ohio was for everyone who keeps trying, not just those who voted for her) and I want no part of her campaign.”
So there you have it, Ms. Barr.
I could go on and on about your inaccuracies (insinuating Obama does not support energy independence, insinuating it was him that used the ‘monster’ term) but instead I’m going to just pretend this was ha ha funny satire.
You can’t possibly be that militant in gender issues that you’d overlook serious flaws in order to get a woman in the White House. You can’t possibly want to be that shocking to make a name for yourself and promote all that is Roseanne by entering the Election ‘08 discussion.
I mean, PR for Roseanne’s brand of entertainment can’t possibly come at the expense of soldiers, uninsured Americans, or voters…could it???
Much like when I wrote an open letter to Michelle Obama in December of 2006, I now find myself scratching my head at the response to my letter to Senator Hillary Clinton.
You people are crazy.
Alright, not all of you. In fact, I owe hugs and beers to many of you for your support. Even if you did not agree with my “whacky” idea that a candidate quit the race, you were respectful in your discussion. So thanks. And let’s face it, respectful in discussion is more than I usually am, so you get bonus points from me for keeping a level head.
The rest of you may just want to keep watching American Idol and worrying about Britney instead of coming back to this blog.
Some thoughts as I scan the hundreds of comments over at Huffington Post, at Digg, and here on Queen of Spain:
-candidates drop out of races all the damn time and states continue to vote in primaries that don’t matter. I live in California. My primary vote never mattered until this year. I’ve voted in PLENTY of elections in which it was already decided by the time my state got a chance. Guess what? You still get to vote in a general election. No really. I swear.
-If you don’t think Senator Clinton is divisive, read the comments in the last post.
-I don’t want anyone to give up on “fighting” for us or for themselves. Please. I realize the race is still neck and neck, I’m not a moron. What I was asking of the Senator was to sacrifice due to her inability to win over those Hillary-haters. She’s had time, it’s not working. That means if she wins (and mind you, if she does I am 100% behind her) we will be in a very similar situation as we are with George W. Sure, she’s on my team…but that does not change the hate. Yes, of course there are Senator Obama haters. OF COURSE. I just haven’t seen the same level of divisiveness with him. If anything, he’s winning many over.
-Superdelegates. Or as my son calls them, Super-sniff-my-butts, because he misheard me talking about them on the phone. But really, we might as well call them Super-sniff-my-butts. I’m really not liking these scenarios where Obama wins the popular vote and Clinton convinces more Superdelegates. Scary. And worthy of a revolution. As if the electoral college isn’t bad enough, now we’re faced with a frightening Superdelegate situation. Whoo hoo Democracy.
-What I was asking Senator Clinton do to was earth shattering and I realize that. I do not want a repeat of South Carolina. I do not want to see this party fight it out until the END of August and the convention leaving a bitter taste in all our mouths. The momentum of Obama’s campaign, coupled with the grassroots base and the divisiveness of Clinton does nothing but lead me to an early September of not just disenfranchised voters but near riots. I can’t be the only one who sees this coming.
-It’s Valentine’s Day. Let’s at least pretend to get along. I’m looking at the Wisconsin ads now and am quickly becoming disgusted at both campaigns when I see where this is heading. It is not pretty and it is most certainly politics as usual.
We can talk more about this tomorrow-live on ooVoo. Tell me why you hated, loved, wanted to rip to shreds my letter to Senator Clinton. Tell me if you have a better idea how to heal this country. Or are you over the idea of bringing everyone back together? Would you rather just win in November and oppress those right-wingers for a few decades?
I need to stand up and take Senator Hillary Clinton’s side on this one.
There is no excuse for a network on-air personality to say Chelsea Clinton was “sort of being pimped out” by the Clinton campaign. And Barbara Walters is rather deluded if she thinks this issue really should be dropped by the Senator.
I’ve heard from numerous sources Chelsea Clinton is a fantastic and energizing public speaker and (gasp) fully supporting her mother (no way?) during this election. Let’s just go ahead and assume a daughter can and would want to support her mother if she ran for office.
Now that Chelsea has stepped a bit further into the limelight on her own, it stands to reason the media will discuss her role, her events, her candor, her demeanor. We are no longer in the situation of the 90’s where Chelsea was the daughter of a president, in the limelight due to her parent’s choices.
Reporter David Shuster has apologized for the “pimp” comment. Keith Olbermann has apologized. The head of NBC has apologized. Then Senator Clinton sent a letter, reiterating how inappropriate the comment really was, and Barbara Walters thinks she’s gone too far.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. You come after my daughter…my kids-make some stupid remark or say something inappropriate-do you think *I* would let up?
Exactly.
Hell no.
I want heads. And I want them to roll.
In fact, I want them rolling and then wrapped in a bow and then served on a golden platter while you kneel at my feet.
I think the Mom and Daughter get to decide when to drop it, not Barbara Walters.
I’d have to argue against the idea this is a campaign ploy to keep Hillary’s name in the news. I mean, really. It’s all we’re hearing about, so that’s not a problem. I don’t think it’s some ploy by the campaign for Clinton to play victim and have us all feeling sorry for them. I really think this is a matter of being tired of the bullshit.
How much Chris Matthews and David Shuster can you take before you finally write the head of NBC and say WTF??!!! Enough already you assholes.
Notice Senator Clinton didn’t make such a bru-ha-ha about all this when they were just going after her. Cross the line to the kids, regardless of their age or voluntary or involuntary involvement…
..and the gloves are off.
I got your back Senator Clinton. Let them brand us pimps and accuse us of exploiting our kids. We know better. And we’re certainly changing the world, aren’t we?
