Kindergarten: Now With More Flirting!

I witnessed my son hit on a girl today.

I wasn’t imagining it, either. I watched, mouth agape, as he told a brown-haired, 5-year old vixen he loved her the best of all the other girls in the class and wanted to hug her.

She then marched up to me..the mom..and said “Mrs. Vest, Jack loves me the best and I’m riding in YOUR car today.”

My jaw was still on the floor so I didn’t respond.

WTF just happened? I mean, nevermind that *I* had the other girls pin down Brian H. on the Kindergarten playground when I was 5…you know, so I could kiss him. THIS WAS DIFFERENT.

My baby boy was WORKING IT with half the girls in the class. The tall blonde, the green-eyed brunette. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Let’s review my week. I arrive home to find my daughter has been flashing her underwear to the boys in town. I take my son on a field trip to find out he’s been playing the Kindergarten field.

I realized this day would come- the kids exploring and what not. But this is out of hand. I need a new plan. Perhaps they get locked in their rooms for all of eternity. Perhaps convents and military school.

Perhaps I am prescribed Valium and start making a nightly martini. Because this shit might kill me.

However I did see a ray of hope…or rather, I felt it. During today’s field trip, somewhere between learning about Bristol Farm’s deli counter and their cheese guy, MY little guy put his arms around me.


And in front of his whole class, all the girls and boys, he said, “Mom, I love you best, you know that, right?”

Damn right. And don’t think I didn’t eye each and everyone of those little miss things so they knew it, too.


  1. Oh man, no wonder they’re tarting up Dora the Explorer.

  2. Mrs. Davis says:

    It only gets better (or worse). Here’s a peek at 2nd grade:

  3. So funny. I wonder how I will respond when my now 3 year old boy starts dating. I can imagine the thoughts I will have when he brings a girl home …..”don’t you forget that I am his most favorite”. Thank goodness he is only 3.

  4. i’m cracking up because…
    my 5y/o…who is still in preschool…told me the other day that his friend, who happens to be a girl, asked him if she could kiss her. preschool. oy. vey.

  5. My vote’s for martinis, but the boy does now how to make a great save. Tonight my son told me I was the best mommy in the whirrled becuase I gave him bread and butter with his dinner. Those boys know where their bread is buttered!!

  6. I just wrote a post about this too! The amount of flirting in kindergarten is not something I ever thought to be prepared for. All I can recall being concerned about was if my sample rug/naptime mat was a cool color.

    Gorgeous kid!

  7. LOL, it’s the other Mrs. Davis…
    Just a few weeks ago another mommy friend of mine explained a similar situation about a little girl her pre-schooler son was “hanging out with.” This seems to be a trend but boy am I NOT looking forward to it! I’m going to snuggle my little guy a little extra tomorrow morning! (He’s only 2.5 and I’m savoring every moment!) We’re all so screwed when they start dating. I so badly don’t want to be “that mom” but I don’t have too much confidence. I figure I have just a couple of years to start getting good at doing the background checks. 😉

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