…and for her next trick, Barbie wipes her ass

Somewhere, sandwiched between a Floam and Moon Sand commercial this morning, I half glanced at the television.

Barbie.

Huh, she seems dressed somewhat normal. Still super big tits, but whatever. Clicking on yahoo, No, no cookies until after lunch. Stop kicking your brother. Click. Click.

And a dog.

Cute doggie. He has a bowl of food and everything. I should really take Peanut’s socks off, it’s getting hot. Sure, Count, you can have more milk, I’m coming. Is Barbie holding a metal detector? Wait. she’s picking up litter, nooooooo!

OH MY GOD, did that dog just SHIT? Turds just shot out of Barbie’s dog’s ass. This is a joke, right? Do I have on the right channel, what are we watching???

Did Barbie just pick up the shit with a pooper scooper? She did. What the hell am I watching? Is this real, hang on honey, I’m coming to get you milk. I just need to see if this commercial is real.

It is.

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25 thoughts on “…and for her next trick, Barbie wipes her ass

  1. Superwoman

    She also has a friend with a cat:
    The Teresa doll has an adorable pet cat named Mika who has some qualities of a real feline! Mika can drink water from a bottle and then wets in her litter box. Like any good owner, Teresa “scoops” up the litter clumps to clean the box.

  2. Trish

    I swear to God, as soon as I saw that commercial I thought to myself I need to express my shock and dismay at Mattel for this, this, well, crap. As soon as I saw you had a new post, I KNEW it was on this, just knew it. I’m still in shock it exists and I, unfortunately, know people that will spend money on this. So sad.

  3. Queen of Spain Post author

    Trish is predicting my posts. Damn.

    Or was it “Oh…QofS is TOTALLY gunna blog that”

    Here is the thing. I’m glad Mattel is being all “real” that you have to take care of pets and pick up their shit…yet…why does Ken STILL have no dick?

    So Turds can SHOOT out a dog’s ass, but men really don’t have any reproductive parts.

  4. Queen of Spain Post author

    Oh, and the commercial really doesn’t need to show me a close up of the shit shooting out of the dog’s butt hole

  5. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

    You guys are serious? Barbie has a dog that makes turds? And she picks them up?

    Ian would love a dog toy that actually pooped. Remind me not to watch whatever channel advertises DogPoopBarbie.

    I guess it is back to all “Deadwood” and “The Sopranos” for good clean family viewing.

  6. Lindsey

    Why? Like kids can’t figure out that plastic doesn’t really poop? And how long before a kid tries to eat the “special” dog food? And then ask mommy to use the special pooper scooper she has to pick it up?

    Why doesn’t barbie let the dog poop on the neighbor’s lawn?

  7. nonlineargirl

    I just recently saw an ad for that toy and couldn’t believe it. Ada won’t be getting that one. I’m holding out for bulemic barbie, ’cause that’s GOT to be next, right?

  8. mamaholler

    Yes, it IS wrong.

    But let’s talk about Floam (since you glazed over it and it’s the bane of my existance.) Floam tortures me with screaches of desire and desperate need every time (so like, every two minutes) it flicks across my tv screen. I hate floam. There’s no way I’m letting it into my house. It’s on principle at this point, never mind the fact that I know my kids aren’t going to make castles with it. They’re going to cover my phone and the apolstery on my chairs with it. Floam. Down with floam.

  9. Lisa

    Gross as it may be, at least it teaches responsible pet ownership ???

    Looking for the bright side. And as famous and diva-like as Barbie is, with her fake tits and dye job, at least she still has to pick up someone else’s crap like the rest of us parents, pet owners.

    Lisa

    Lisa

  10. Suebob

    It seems like I say this about 5 times a week, but it is stuff like this that makes me sooooo glad I have no TV.

    I can’t believe they show the dog making poo on a commercial. Weird world.

    I bet kids love it though.

  11. Kristi

    A very special Barbie, indeed. I think I’ll get one for my daughters. Maybe that will teach them the responsibility of cleaning up our pet’s waste so I don’t have to! Yeah, right!

  12. Canadian Mom

    Just passing by the way of BlogExplosion.

    Oh my gosh! I am more curious at who would actually buy their little girls this toy. How many little girls that are into barbie actually like to pick up dog poop??

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