Memo to Senator McCain: Wife Beating Jokes Are Not Funny (Even If They Are Famous)

Apparently there is some old joke about being asked a loaded question:

Are you still beating your wife?

Of course I had never heard this used before, not in the context of lawyers or trials or even reporting.

Fine. Fair enough. I sure don’t know every pop-culture catch phrase out there (yes, I’m snickering).

So today when I came across remarks made by Senator John McCain to the Las Vegas Sun, I about fell out of my chair.

(On why he didn’t choose Gov. Jim Gibbons to chair his Nevada campaign?)

I appreciate his support. As you know, the lieutenant governor is our chairman.

(Why snub the governor?)

I didn’t mean to snub him,. I’ve known the lieutenant governor for 15 years and we’ve been good friends….I didn’t intend to snub him. There are other states where the governor is not the chairman.

(Maybe it’s the governor’s approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?)

(Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago….

Yes, Senator McCain laughed and made a joke about loaded questions and beating his wife, apparently riffing off some well turned phrase.

At best, this is just a poor, poor, poor, cliche’ to pick when you are courting Clinton voters. At worst, he’s perpetuating his image as “old school” and “sexism is funny.”

I informally polled some friends and family of various ages and only one had heard this phrase used before- my neighbor who is in his 70’s. I’m guessing the younger demo, widely voting for Senator Obama, looked at that Las Vegas Sun quote and did the same thing I did…”HE SAID WHAT???!!! AND HE THINKS THAT’S FUNNY???!!!”

I’m doing my best to keep a level head in this election (and now everyone else snickers) so I immediately e-mailed Liz Mair of the RNC. If and when she responds, I will post an update here.

In the meantime, what the hell is McCain thinking making a joke half of us don’t know is a joke???

Wonkette writes, “What does that Joke even mean? That John McCain trying to keep his distance from President Bush/Jim Gibbons is about as likely as him beating up his wife recently? Well for shame. We want a president who continues beating up his trollop wife IN THE WHITE HOUSE.”

Erica Saves the Day writes, “As my mom says, sarcasm always has an element of truth…”

I give McCain credit for making an attempt at humor, I really do. But could he have picked a WORSE joke? And yes, the candidates misspeak. We’ve been over this. McCain didn’t misspeak here though, he intentionally invoked a tasteless joke about beating wives.

I’ve heard a ton of well-known jokes that invoke racism too, should I bust one of those out next time I run for office?

Crossposted at BlogHer.com

This Woman’s Work

Lucky.

My family and I are lucky.

I am a working mom.

A working woman.

A female voter.

As BlogHer Contributing Editor American Princess put it, part of the demographic that will have a “profound effect on the outcome of November’s election.”

Like many Americans I recently went from “stay-at-home-mom who could stand to make some extra cash on the side” to “I need a job and I need it now to make ends meet in this house.”

Like many Americans we recently got the notice from my husband’s work that spouses and dependents will no longer be covered by the company’s health insurance.

Like many Americans I began to investigate what it would cost to buy myself and our two children insurance.

Like many Americans I promptly fainted.

And that’s just the start.

I seriously considered going back to work full time in my previous profession, but quickly realized that even with my years of experience I would not make as much as my husband is currently making.

Thus my very REAL interest in Senator Barack Obama’s plan to support working women and families.

Going over the plan it addresses all of my concerns: minimum wage, childcare credits, extending the Family Medical Leave Act, a middle class tax credit that would affect 70 MILLION WORKING WOMEN, health care, mortgage relief and even help saving for retirement.

SAVING? What’s that?

Being the diligent voter (newsjunkie and Political Director at BlogHer.com helps) that I am, I didn’t have to wait long to see what Senator John McCain was offering me.

My first inkling was an email from Liz Mair, Online Communications Director of the RNC’s eCampaign Division:

“Women concerned about the economy and jobs, health care, rising gas prices and energy independence will have a choice between John McCain, a bold leader who has consistently delivered solutions for working women, and Obama, whose rhetoric consistently fails to match reality. Obama’s votes for higher taxes, plans to put more government between women and their doctors, and a do-nothing energy policy are not what women are looking for in this election—and that’s why so many of us are supporting John McCain.”

Now, there are several points here I am confused with like, well…all of it. I watched last week as MomsRising delivered 9-thousand resumes to Senator McCain’s office- why?

Ten DC-area moms sporting “Magnificently Overqualified Mother” banners, some of them accompanied by their kids, were up on Capitol Hill today to send a message to Senator John McCain about his opposition to the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. That message came in the form of some 9,000 resumes from mothers across the country underscoring women’s skills, training and education, and it was crystal clear: “women are well-trained, educated and qualified and should be paid the same as men for doing the same work.”

In late April, the U.S. Senate voted on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, legislation that would loosen the restrictions on the length of time in which workers could file pay discrimination claims against their employers. On the campaign trail at the time, Senator John McCain refused to return to Washington, DC to vote on the measure (unlike two other U.S. Senators who were also campaigning for President), commenting instead that he opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and that what women really needed was “more training and education.” Ultimately, a filibuster in the Senate prevented the bill from coming to a vote. The bill did pass in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Then came word from the McCain camp: “When you consider women are a major driving force behind small business start-ups in this country, Barack Obama’s proposals to raise taxes on millions of small businesses isn’t going to help women voters,”-campaign spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker.

Now here is what I know about Senator McCain: He opposed equal pay while talking down to my gender, he opposed the Children’s Health Insurance Program, he has an entire page devoted to his “positions” over at Planned Parenthood that scares the hell out of me, and he voted to “suspend the Family and Medical Leave Act unless the federal government certified that compliance would not increase business expenses or provide financial assistance to businesses to cover any related costs.

Marjorie at m-pyre says, “I’m also getting a little tired of the notion that Democrat women won’t vote for Obama because he won the primary. They will vote for him, overwhelmingly. To suggest otherwise, to me, suggests that women as a group don’t make rational choices in their own best interests. To support Clinton out of gender solidarity is a fine thing, given the two fine choices in the end, but it doesn’t follow that McCain is better on women’s issues than the winner of that contest–Barack Obama. And women know it.”

Just this week I was listening to an Obama campaign conference call on energy policy while simultaneously making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my children and wiping up a milk spill. I honestly don’t have time for any candidate who isn’t clear on how they will help ME and MY family.

At the very least, Senator Obama is offering me specific details on how his plans will affect women. 70 million women in his tax cut alone. All I am seeing from Senator McCain is my need for “education and training.”


Crossposted at BlogHer

Cindy McCain is No Baby Mama

Or Laura Bush. Or Barbara Bush. Or Hillary Clinton. Or myself.

Why?

We’re white.

As discussion swirls around ‘fist-bumps’ and so-called ‘news stations’ labeling the next potential First Lady as ‘Obama’s Baby Mama’ let us all be very clear: racism is not ok just because it’s on Fox.

It is not ok because it’s in West Virginia or Kentucky. It’s not ok because it’s part of the culture or the heritage or the geography.It is certainly not ok as the caption on a major cable news network, regardless of their ‘right’ leanings.I may be as white and suburban as Cindy…strike that…maybe McCain’s first wife is a better example, either way I KNOW ‘baby mama’ is certainly not meant as a term of endearment.I’m sure Mr. ProducerMan at Fox News thought maybe tagging it under ‘Outraged Liberals: Stop Picking on Obama’s Baby Mama!’ would blame this on Democrats or maybe just ‘progressives.’

Nice try asshat.

What part of ‘we are not stupid’ do you fail to get?

Let’s also be clear, the ‘blogger’ you see in the clip, Michelle Malkin, would be branded a ‘baby mama’ far quicker than I ever would. I wonder how she feels about this racism and sexism going on as she sits and spins for the GOP that uses her skin color to gain credibility with minorities? (yes, GOP, we see what you are doing)

Oh wait, apparently she thinks it’s ok because Michelle Obama has been treated with kid gloves and allegedly used the term ‘baby daddy.’

She’s kidding, right?

Sadly, she is not kidding.

Here is what that half of America is missing:

This has nothing to do with feeling the next first lady is ‘off limits.’

I expect everyone within an inch of Senator Obama be scrutinized.

I also fully expect Michelle Obama can take care of herself, and do not for one second worry the media is too hard on her or the right-wing bloggers too nasty. I get the distinct feeling Michelle Obama would and will handle herself as I would expect any strong, American woman.

Any strong, American woman who’s not a Republican, anyway.

What I will not do, however, is sit by and watch sexism and racism on national news. THIS woman might moan and groan over feminism and Clinton, over which supporters are voting McCain and which are too angry to kiss and make up with the Democratic party, but just as we called-out sexism with the Senator from New York, we are calling it out with the rhetoric surrounding Michelle Obama.

Let’s ask that producer if he would put the caption ‘Bush’s Baby Mama’ under First Lady Laura Bush. Of course not, because Laura Bush is white.

Maybe Fox News would consider ‘Trailer Trash Mama‘ under their next First Lady caption?

Or would THAT be offensive? Playing into stereotypes?

Of course it would.

How about a ‘McCain’s Stepford Wife’ under the next Cindy McCain story?

Of course not, Fox would never dream of anything so crass and offensive while labeling the woman who could be the next First Lady.

Yet Fox is fine with ‘Baby Mama’ as the words describing Michelle Obama.

Why?

It’s called racism, sexism, and it is as clear as Rupert Murdoch’s bias.

Yes, Stefania at MOMocrats has it right:

“Just who do you think your audience is, Fox News? A bunch of 11-year-olds? Didn’t you forget to call her Obama’s ‘boo’ as well as his ‘shorty?’ /eyeroll It would be so easy to get outraged by this, but instead these tactics make me howl with laughter, because it shows that the right is scared out of their minds. Yesterday’s ‘terrorist fist jab’ is today’s Obama baby mama. Tomorrow will bring something worse, but it ain’t gonna make their cause look any better. The Republicans are are going to get handled come November. This I know…

In the immortal words of Kimora Lee Simmons, MOMocrats co-founder Stefania Pomponi Butler ‘will beat a bitch’s ass’ for messing with our country’s next First Lady.”

Updated: Liza at Culture Kitchen gives us a background reminder on Malkin.

Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain blog, BlogHer.com, and MOMocrats.com. She thinks Fox News can suck it.

My VERY Important BlogHer Poll

Erin Kotecki Vest Meets Senator Barack Obama, Part Two

Standing in the hallway of Roseburg High School, flanked by Secret Service, I made small talk with the local reporters.

‘Medford tv station? Ah, that’s north right?’

‘Oh, you get two questions with Senator Obama, that’s great for local tv.’

Then a press aide of the Senator’s pointed at me and said ‘Erin this is our web guy, you guys can chat. The rest of you-two questions, that’s it. You set up, you ask, you break it down and we go to the next one. -Except for you guys (pointing to me again).’

The ‘web-guy’ then looks at me and starts to mic me ‘yeah, the blogher women get the special campaign treatment.’

And the hallway falls silent as every local reporter in the greater Roseburg, OR area turns to look.

I smirk a bit, shrug my shoulders, and wave.

I’m such a smart ass. At least I stopped short of sticking out my tongue.

The press aide then tells the entire group ‘the Senator will come into the room and get situated, I would appreciate no questions or cameras as he walks in-you’ll have your chance inside.’

‘Web-guy’ then pulls me into the room and asks me if I like the way the backdrop looks. I shrug again and ask if we can move the flags, maybe pull out some chairs, etc.’

…and in walks Senator Barack Obama.

Noticing I was the only face he didn’t recognize in the room he came straight over to me-shook my hand and said ‘what’s your name ?’

‘Erin, I’m with BlogHer.com’

‘Yes, the women bloggers’

And with that web-guy continued to talk to me about lighting and blue drapes and chairs. I nodded a lot and said ‘I better go back in the hallway’ and walked past secret service guarding the door and into the glaring eyes of a dozen or so local reporters.

One-by-one they went in with their crews. As the last one walked in, Treina (the makeup artist) and exchanged glances. We are next.

The crew came out of the classroom and we grabbed out bags to walk in.

But no one was calling us in, like they had the others before us.

So we stood, bags in hand, and shifted nervously.

Why aren’t they calling us in? Are they setting something else up? Are there important campaign strategy things happening in there I want to hear? How close to the classroom door can I get before secret service tackles me? Is my hair still totally flat from this heat? It is…damn.

And out into the hallway walks Senator Obama. To his right is the rest of the high school, to the left is Treina and I and a secret service agent.

Senator Obama once again sees us-people he does not recognize- and walks right on over. ‘Hello again, Erin, right-and this is…’

‘Treina,’ says Treina who just 20 second earlier had been pulled aside by an agent who explained to her the Senator’s skin in the event he needed a touch up.

‘Treina-Treina nice to meet you.’

Then the Senator explained to us, as he rolled up his shirt sleeves, that he needed to use the rest room and would be in for the interview in a minute. We smiled and nodded and he turned and walked down the hallway.

Yes, Barack Obama just told me had had to go to the bathroom was really all I could think. However at this point, seemed entirely normal. And I had to REMIND myself it was, in fact, Barack Obama who just excused himself because it seemed just like any other guy.

I was officially, now, no longer nervous to sit down with the Senator. I was, however, nervous about getting through all these questions.

I sat down in the interview chair and flipped through my notecards again. And again. And again. Senator Obama walked in, and I stood (no idea…felt like I should?) and greeted him again as he sat next to me. He began to get his own mic on and said ‘hope I’m not being too revealing’ as he unbuttoned a button or two to get the mic to lay right.

Hope I’m not being too revealing???!!! I averted my eyes. I’m laughing as I type this but as soon as he even JOKED about it I was like ‘OH. MY. GAWD. I MUST NOT LOOK I MUST NOT LOOK I MUST NOT LOOK.’ And I turned my head.

As my 3-year old would say ‘Mama he needs his PRIVACY!’

Then Obama’s press aide knelt under us.


He had a timer or a phone with a timer. Or maybe a recorder? Whatever it was it kept time and he said, ‘ok 10 minutes’ and web-guy said ‘whenever you’re ready’ and I launched into my 12 questions.

The next 10 minutes I was entirely focused on the Senator. I wanted to move a bit faster, but once we got going he seemed to shorten his answers a bit. I could tell time was getting short as we talked about health care because the aide kneeling below us was shifting. A lot. I wanted to look down to see him give me a time count -hold up a finger for 1 minute or something-but I didn’t want to break eye contact with Senator Obama.

Instinct told me to move onto Economy, and quick. And sure enough once we finished the economy question-

“Last Question!” came from the guy on the floor.

The interview ended, we shook hands again, and we posed for a photo. Arms around eachother and smiling I told him BlogHer and it’s 9 million readers would be very pleased he took the time to answer our questions and I thanked him again for the 5th time.

I then grabbed Treina’s camera and snapped a shot of the makeup artist and the Senator.

While he was walking out the door I said ‘Good Luck on Tuesday’ and he stopped, turned and said ‘thank you very much.’

Treina and I then quietly gathered our belongings. I let BlogHer know the tape was in my hands, and we walked in near silence to the parking lot.

Inside the car we shut the doors, turned to look at each-other, and screamed our ever-loving heads off like teenagers.

I love being a blogger. I love being a blogher. I love that after I interviewed the man who very well could make history I could tell you this story, and scream and cry. Years ago I could never have done that.

After interviewing mayors and governors and celebrities, I would tell you stories-but never personal ones about how I FELT while it was happening. I would probably tell you how with morning sickness I nearly threw up on Governor Gray Davis. How interviewing Tom Hanks left me with the impression he really IS a nice guy. I would tell you how a former mayor of LA still calls me Erica and how another former mayor is notorious for spitting while he talks. I may have even told you the story of how Jeb Bush snarked on me. But you’d never know of the pride or joy or excitement or nerves I felt while conducting those interviews.

Now I can tell you. And it feels good.

Long live citizen journalism.

Erin Kotecki Vest Meets Senator Barack Obama, Part One

There is a story behind the BlogHer interview you probably don’t know. Several, actually.

-I wasn’t supposed to be doing the interview.

-I shopped at the Eugene, Oregon Target at 8pm Friday night for camera-ready clothes, notecards, and hairspray.

-I met the Senator from Illinois in the hallway of Roseburg High School while he was on his way to use the rest room. I know this. He told me so.



It all started somewhere around Wednesday when I had a good idea BlogHer was about to land this interview. BlogHer contributing editor Kim Pearson would be asking the questions and I would be producing. Which means I could be in the room but on the sidelines, hopefully meeting Obama but not worried about the pressures of on camera.

Friday afternoon, en route to Eugene, I got a call:

‘Kim’s flight is delayed, she may not make it out. You need to prepare to do this interview.’

My mind switched gears and I started to plan.

How well did I know the questions?

What clothes did I bring?

Crap I haven’t had my hair done in weeks.

Oh my gawd I haven’t had a pedicure in longer.

What if I ask all of them by category and don’t make it to the last category?

Should I split them up? Jump from Iraq to the Economy and back?

I’m very sure my roots are showing.

I wonder if they have a mall near my hotel.

I need to review those questions closer.

I then landed in Eugene and the status of just who was interviewing the Senator was still up in the air. Or on the ground in Newark, as the case may be.

I decided to head to the nearest Target and see if I couldn’t figure out an outfit and a strategy for getting through 12 policy questions in 7-10 minutes on the campaign schedule.

I wondered if those 7-10 minutes included him getting set up with a mic? Us chatting quickly before hand to make sure we were ready? Did it start when he sat down and tape rolled? Did it start when he walked in the room? What if he was late?

I clung to the campaign’s promise of 10 minutes and plotted my question priority as I rifled through solid colored shirts at Target that were NOT white or black (you know, like everything in my suitcase).

Throwing things in the cart I moved on to shoes (I had black shoes and flip flops) while I went over all 12 questions again in my head, reminding myself to google when I got back to the hotel ‘Obama stance on public transportation.’

I didn’t want to prioritize the blogher community questions with everything he’s already said on record. I wanted to at least try to get him to speak about some of the issues we don’t hear every day.

I then grabbed a pack of waters and some trail mix, knowing Treina ( the make up artist) and myself might be trapped in Roseburg all day with who knows what available. I also grabbed a bottle of wine and an extra pack of gum.

This interview was not a surprise investigation by us. We’ve had these questions on the record since the BlogHer conference last July. So I knew this was not going to be a ‘follow up question’ or ‘on the spot attack’ type of interview. That helped. Back in the day I would have been plotting 40 follow ups and 40 different takes on those follow ups depending on his answers. This was a simple Q & A of well known questions. So while I was back in my hotel plotting just how to do anything with my root-showing, not hair-cut in 6 weeks, hair -it occurred to me the best thing to do was to prioritize each question in each category and go with the flow of the interview and hope I didn’t have to cut him off.

I’m sorry Senator but you are being entirely too long winded and I only have 10 minutes here, so let’s move on.

Then at 10pm pacific Kim called from Salt Lake City. She was turning back around to Newark, and I was sprawled on my hotel room bed-furiously writing BlogHer’s questions on notecards.

I went to sleep knowing I would wake up Saturday morning, drive an hour and a half with my semi-polished toes and stringy-hair, and sit down and chat with the man who could very well be our next president.

I called my family. I sent out a few emails.

Then I quietly sobbed in my stale, hotel pillow.

I cried for joy at my opportunity, sadness over the stress I knew my kids and family were dealing with, and I cried to relieve myself of any emotion I had over what was about to happen.

Part Two, tomorrow. I scream, I cry more, and I meet a senator.

Obama, Me, And BlogHer’s Questions

My exclusive sit-down with Senator Barack Obama for BlogHer.com

Senator Barack Obama & Erin Kotecki Vest -Yes ME!

Senator Barack Obama and Erin Kotecki Vest of BlogHer.com

Senator Barack Obama answered the questions drafted by the BlogHer community in an exclusive, one-on-one, video interview in Roseburg, Oregon.

More to come-check BlogHer for the video as I travel from Eugene, Oregon home to Los Angeles.

Thank you Senator Obama!