And you can see all my upcoming travel dates on Dopplr.

I had a very stark reminder tonight about how different we all are.

As my husband and I celebrated the addition of another Academy Award to his resume, I remarked online how nice it was to hear so many of the acceptance speeches include thanks to wives and kids.

I’m a wife. I have kids. I notice these things.

Of course the internet being what it is, it didn’t take long before a very snarky comment was thrown my way by a conservative– “Yeah, they are such role models for family values.”

And I suddenly remembered what I had clearly blacked out since November 4th:

Many people in this country don’t believe my family has values. They can’t comprehend my family is “good” or “virtuous.” It’s incomprehensible to them that we are decent Americans.

We live in that scary place called California. My husband works for that really pornographic and satan-filled industry called “Hollywood” and OMG I have one hell of a mouth. Clearly we can’t be normal, good, decent human beings.

Nearly half of America still believes this way. They are shocked we raise children and teach them of love and kindness. They don’t know how to behave when I tell them I cooked dinner last night, and the kids cleared the dishes. That we attended a charity function. That we help our neighbors that we contribute to our community. That yes…we are actually GOOD people.

I suppose it serves me right to a degree to be stereotyped. It’s much easier for me to think of the right wing as some religious extremists idiots who believe in fairy tales instead of science. But alas, it’s not that simple is it? As much as I LOVE sweeping generalizations about the morons of the GOP and their equality hating ways, we all know they all don’t fit into that picture I try, myself, to paint.

Even in my anger, I have conceded time and time again that…ok, fine…not all Republicans are stupid. And not all religions teach hate. And don’t think it doesn’t pain me to have to concede this fact, time and time again.

So I think it’s time to shed some light on the other side of the coin. That now rather angry and defeated segment of America still stinging from their loss in November. Still trying so very hard to hate their President. Still hell bent on believing we’re all evil, indecent, NONfamily loving liberals out to destroy their churches and their way of life.

They quip that it’s laughable those accepting awards on a stage in California could possibly love or value their families enough to thank them. To mention them. To even remotely care about their loved ones.

Well tonight that quip went directly to a family involved with those on stage. Who know FULL WELL their kindness, their love for their families, and their humanity. Who sat with family to watch as our livelihood -you know that pesky economy thing you keep talking about- had an industry celebration.

Yes as the Right mocked the “self important Left” for fawning over “actors” …the Left is here, calling out many of the smug and self-righteous Right. Who seem to think their virtues are better, and more pure. Who seem to think they are more decent, and they are living the life of Saints as we wallow in sin.

I almost feel sad that you miss the humanness of a family- any family, not just those you think are good. That you assume we’re out cheating on our taxes, robbing banks, teaching our kids to fight and hurt others. You condemn GOOD families because they are different than yours. Because in your mind, they can’t possibly be anything but wrong, or evil. They can’t be anything but unnatural because they don’t work the same way YOUR family does.

Yes, I do feel sad. I feel sad because when I meet you- sure I have my own assumptions- but they never include that you don’t care for your loved ones as I do mine. I might question your motives and I might question your sanity, but I can’t possibly question your family. Sure, I find it odd. Sure I find it unnatural. Sure I’d never do it the way you do…but I’d never assume you weren’t capable of thinking of your family during a celebration.

That how foreign this concept of “liberals are good people” actually is to many in on the Right. They can’t even comprehend that we have families or values.

Newsflash: Conservatives don’t own the rights to good, decent, loving families.

Newsflash: Liberals love their wives and spouses and partners and children too.

Newsflash: Kindness and generosity are NOT conservative values, they are HUMAN values. Just like you don’t want the GLBT community owning the rights to the Rainbow…YOU don’t get to own the rights to FAMILY.

So how about we move forward from here. I’ll do my best to not assume you’re all uneducated, backwood, anti-science, anti-common sense, tank-loving, sexist, homophobes…and you do your best to not assume we’re all coke-sniffing, baby-killing, irresponsible whores….

Sound good?

crossposted at blogher.com

Valentine’s Day has always been a bit of a tense joke in our house. You see after nearly 9 years of marriage and those many years of dating before hand- Valentine’s Day has always, without question, sucked.

It’s been known since our very first V-Day in 1997, after a year of dating, as “the day we fight and eat Italian Food.”

My husband tells the story of our first Valentine’s Day as “that time I took you to that super nice Italian restaurant in Orlando and you wouldn’t stop interrupting me so I stopped talking.”

I tell the story as “that time you ruined our special night out because you told me you didn’t ever want to get married or have kids.”

Sucker.

Anyway, every single year since that first fateful holiday we’ve gotten Italian food and fought. Every. Single. Year. Even the years I was pregnant and stuck in bed, we’ve had Italian food. Even the years one of us was at work, we had Italian carry out on an office floor. Even the years we’ve forgotten it was even a holiday, we’ve ended up with some sort of pasta and red sauce and wine.

Call it tradition. Call it “Erin has ridiculous, romantic expectations.” Call it my yearly disappointment.

Actually, I take that back. It USED to be my yearly disappointment. When my husband, very unceremoniously, announced he wasn’t going to participate in that “Stupid, fake, Hallmark Holiday” and never buy me a gift I was pretty pissed off. No presents? What the hell? Not even some flowers? Jerk. And every year I would brood and pout and more than likely instigate the fight that would inevitably follow the eggplant parm.

But as time went on, I recognized something almost sweet in our little tradition. Just that fact that we HAD a tradition was a meaningful way to celebrate the hoilday. And we did it in our own way…every year we get Italian food and every year we laugh about that first horrible V-Day and every year we end up fighting all over again.

It’s almost cute. It’s almost romantic. It’s certainly a married couple’s Valentine’s Day.

What are your Valentine traditions? Do you have any? Do you have those expectations like I always do of candy and roses?

I can’t be the only one.

For some more Valentine’s fun check out

Joy to the Blog

WiseBread

Jendi’s Journal

Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain Blog

I’ve admittedly been lazy about this. Annoyed but not feeling the need to scream and yell.

However Glennia and Belinda reminded me that sometimes the only way to tell someone to #suckit, is with your wallet.

Queen of Spain blog will no longer be a Go Daddy domain. My blog has up and moved. #suckit, Go Daddy.

Thanks to Jeremy Tanner for the help.

Monday can #suckit. I’m busy. Open thread or…something.

Apparently we’re going to do this again.

Yes, we’ve done this before. Several times. Over here too. Oh and here.

Let’s review:

feeding is not obscene. My kid wiggling his/her head and ‘showing the nipple or areola’ (as Facebook is saying) is not obscene.

My child eating is not porn.

#suckit Facebook

If I have to suffer through barely legal thong-showing asscrack flashers, you can handle my daughter eating breakfast.