BlogHer ’08-VOTE

This is a tough one. Giggling really hard. It’s ok, most of you are confused by that. Just go vote already.




Lyrics for PreSchoolers

“Mommy why can’t he have a screw?”

Turning down A/C in car to hear the 4-year old…

“What honey?”

“Why can’t he get a screw, that guy?”

“What guy?”

“The guy on the song. He needs a screw. And he can’t find one.”

…thinking…thinking…listening closer to music on radio..day after day…I get angry…and I will say…OH.MY.GOD.

“So the guy singing the song???? You think he needs a screw???”

“Yeah. That’s what he said. I’m sure Daddy can get him a screw out of his tool box. Then we can give it to him and he will have a screw.”

“Suuuuurrre. We can do that…”

“OH WAIT! Its ok Mommy-he FOUND it!”

“Oh…did he?”

“Yes, he found the screw in his PANTS!”

“Good for him.”

“Why would he keep a screw in his pants? Now THAT is JUST HILARIOUS Mommy!”

Sigh

Space RobotBoy Invades Sam’s Club

People look at him funny. Kaiser even made him a tin foil hat to go with it…

The US Government Wants Your Kids to Be Sick

***Queen edit: Karen sent me the link to the ads, old and new, for you to see. What do you think-scare tactic or hard hitting?***

I’m absolutely through the ROOF on this one. The Washington Post is reporting today breastfeeding ads by federal health officials were CENSORED to blow smoke up the formula lobby’s ass. DESPITE THE FACT THIS DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF OUR CHILDREN.
The formula lobby HIRED the FORMER CHAIRMAN of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE to fight what was to be a really strong campaign to show women just what might happen to their kids if they chose NOT to breastfeed.

Heath and Human Services HIRED an ad agency who came up with the spots (showing inhalers and insulin syringes) and when FORCED to tone them down the ad agency warned the new ads would NOT be effective. And guess what???? “The milder campaign HHS eventually used had no discernible impact on the nation’s breast-feeding rate, which lags behind the rate in many European countries.”

As if that isn’t bad enough, some of the GOOD people at HHS tried to get the word out anyway when a new study appeared further confirming the dire need to raise US breastfeeding rates,

“A top HHS official said that at the time, Suzanne Haynes, an epidemiologist and senior science adviser for the department’s Office on Women’s Health, argued strongly in favor of promoting the new conclusions in the media and among medical professionals. But her office, which commissioned the report, was specifically instructed by political appointees not to disseminate a news release.”

The United States government PURPOSEFULLY and KNOWINGLY just tried to FUCK your kids.
I’m beyond full of rage. I am beyond upset. I am beyond writing a few letters. I’ll be contacting Rep. Henry Waxman of California, who is leading the committee looking into this, and I’m demanding -DEMANDING an apology from those in charge. I want assurances this never happens again and I want to know, from the f’ing President himself that they are actually trying to HELP my children, not harm them.

Politics just directly messed with my family. You can talk about education and politics and social services and politics-all very important. To me this really brings corruption in our government to a whole new level. This is HEALTH. THE HEALTH of the CHILDREN in this COUNTRY. The actual LIFE AND DEATH of millions of American kids.

I’m not being over dramatic. I’ve just HAD IT. I’m done sitting on the sidelines.

I won’t be painted as some crazy lactavist either. Now I’m a Mom who just watched Lobbiest SCREW families. ON PURPOSE. I’m not naive, I know this happens all the time up there in DC. But SWEET MOTHER OF GOD you just REPRESSED information that could SAVE children’s lives.

You’re going down. I’m going to make sure of it. The sick fucks in the formula industry and their Republican cronies are about to get a Queen style ass-whuppin.

This has nothing to do with “ability” to breastfeed or “what works for your family.” This is called PROPAGANDA from big business and I’m done tolerating it. Done.

queenofspainblog@yahoo.com is the email if you’d like to help plan.

I would like to see mothers of formula fed kids on here too. They snowed your asses as well and you should be pissed. This isn’t about breast vs. bottle. This is about the US government tricking you. Lying to you. And failing to serve you. Bowing to the almighty lobby and dollar at the COST OF YOUR CHILDRENS’ HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Don’t forget, they serve you. Make them do their fucking jobs.

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS

Queen Drafts Dreamy Teamy 2007

I’m such a fucking GIRL.

I say that with pride. I say that, also, with some disdain.

Our fantasy football draft was tonight (the Blog Pound) and in the late rounds I got stupid and ended up with the All-American, Hunky QB team. I didn’t mean too. But in the end I was feeling frisky and silly and when that happens my teams tend to suffer. I pick the guy who’s wife just got cancer. Or I pick the guy who’s Mamma died and now he’s playing for her. Or I pick my cutie pie, Notre Dame, QB- freshfaced and and ready to get his ass handed to him.
I HATE THAT.

I know better. I KNOW who to pick, I’m no draft rookie. But FUCK if I don’t DO IT EVERYTIME.

I know the boys count on this. They thrive on this. However my GOOD picks usually sustain me to beat 99% of their penis-toting asses, ok so last year it was like 75% of their asses, either way. Anyway here is my team:

Brady, Tom QB NE

McAllister, Deuce RB NO

Parker, Willie RB PIT

Stallworth, Donte’ WR NE

Boldin, Anquan WR ARI

Muhammad, Muhsin WR CHI

Kaeding, Nate K SD

Steelers, DST DST PIT

Pennington, Chad QB NYJ

Quinn, Brady QB CLE

Davenport, Najeh RB PIT

Jackson, Brandon RB GB

Gonzalez, Anthony WR IND

Cooley, Chris TE WAS

49ers, DST DST SF

Sarah always seems to squash her girl when she drafts. I don’t know how she does it. She manages to NOT draft Bucs (her beloved team) even when they are having a good year and remind me how my bathroom was once Honolulu Blue. God help me for being from Detroit.

Anyway…my point here, you know just after Women’s Equality Day, is I need to find a way to turn off the girl and turn a the war-mongering, testosterone warrior woman on draft day. OR maybe I just need to care MORE about my fantasy team winning. I do. I do Queen of Spain Fantasy Football Team. I CARE. The same way I care when I hit a jumpshot over a guy’s head…is the same way I care about Fantasy Football…fuck if it doesn’t feel reeeeaaallllly good to beat a boy. Many boys. A whole league of boys (and Sarah) and their “I think I know it all” ways.

Seriously, if you would have seen this guy’s picks you would KNOW I know more about football than he does. And this one…all talk and spreadsheets (but just might be one of the better smack-talkers). OH OH OH, this guy? Defends Matt Hasselbeck and his wife, sister-in-law (either way got VERY upset when we started to pick on the Hasselbeck FAMILY)and should therefore just be disqualified *yes Elizabeth, I’m looking at you…and you best be breastfeeding this one, you hear me bitch?*. This guy only beat me last year because McNabb got hurt. I don’t want to talk about it. Still. This guy drank scotch all night and his late picks look worse than mine. I’m rumbling with this guy somewhere along the 405, he joined us this year with some swagger so we all know that means he ain’t got no game. This woman’s husband is nicknamed Bump…so he loses automatically, although he had one of the best lines of the night. I’m just too drunk now to remember it. Oh, and this idiot didn’t show, so there was a 20 minute discussion on whether or not to give him Michael Vick. And then this guy who barely said a word, so he might as well not have shown up. And then, of course, there is my dumbass husband who didn’t even draft for himself.

So with two Patriots on my team I’m doomed to root for those fucks and implement my plan to have Tom Brady’s next baby. Oh, and make this guy take me to a game. Cough. Cough.

God I’m glad its football season again.

When Creative Bites You in the Butt

Jesus, Bills, and a Blood Moon

Typical conversation between Queen and Kaiser:

[14:19] JackandHalasMom: red moon tonight

[14:19] AaronatD2: does that mean you want a spanking?

[14:20] AaronatD2: is that code or something?

[14:20] JackandHalasMom: http://sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEmono/TLE2007Aug28/TLE2007Aug28.html

[14:21] AaronatD2: You know, according to Jesus the moon will turn red when he comes back to defeat George Bush..er…the Antichrist.

[14:21] JackandHalasMom: cool

[14:22] JackandHalasMom: let the apocalypse begin!

[14:22] JackandHalasMom: do you think, you know if the end starts, we’d still have to pay bills

[14:22] JackandHalasMom: or would it be a free for all?

[14:22] AaronatD2:  Yeah, we’ll just tell the power company we were raptured.

[14:23] JackandHalasMom: hard to live in a house and not pay the mortgage. I mean, we can CLAIM rapture..but we’d still be using it

[14:23] AaronatD2: right.

[14:24] JackandHalasMom: we have to hope for a major destruction of financial institution, ie the moneychangers

[14:24] AaronatD2: I think Jesus will take them out.

[14:24] AaronatD2: He’s done it before.

[14:24] AaronatD2: and he was only 12 then.

[14:24] AaronatD2: And hadn’t come to realize his full power.

[14:24] JackandHalasMom: lol,kinda like a death star unfinished kinda thing

[14:25] AaronatD2: exactly.

[14:25] JackandHalasMom: that’s fine. so long as I don’t have to pay any bills

Women’s Equality Day

***updated-leave YOUR story in the comments!***

“I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.” – Rebecca West, 1913.

02-1318_womenslib-front.jpg

“Because woman’s work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we’re the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it’s our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos and if we don’t we’re frigid and if we love women its because we can’t get a man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we’re selfish and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and unfeminine and if we don’t we’re typical weak females and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man and if we don’t we’re unnatural and because we still can’t get a safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion and… for lots and lots of other reasons we are part of the women’s liberation movement”

and my personal favorite:

“Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”
Rev. Pat Robertson

Happy Women’s Equality Day.

Queen of Spain