The Post In Which My Doctor Feels Me Up and Calls Me DOLL

I have a boob issue.

Or not.

It’s still unclear.

So today I wore the wrong outfit to a breast specialist and waited my turn to see Dr. S. in a room filled with cancer patients. They made me feel humble and grateful and scared all at once.

My turn came soon enough and I did as I was instructed: I took off everything on top (leaving only my black leggings on bottom…an ill fitting pair at that) and put on a very short, very pink, very papery gown.

Let’s stop and think about that for a second…mental picture, if you will. Erin with a pair of too tight leggings with fat rolling over sides, sitting on a table where her hips are spread in said leggings and belly crunched, where a not so hawt pink paper gown barely touches the bottom of her bulging belly button.

Oh, it was sexy let me tell you.

Anyway…

Dr. S. entered to see me in all my pink and black glory, asked me a few questions, felt my tits, gave me instructions,  then walked out the door by saying “Ok then, DOLL, I’ll see you next week.”

The man just felt me up, called me “Doll” and walked out.

I visably scoweled and squinched my face when he said it…and he left in an awkward rush.

This is going to make for a really uncomfy second appointment. Or maybe not. Because like many things, this may just be an issue to me and it may be on my mind and he may not have even REALLY noticed and hasn’t given it a second thought. Or a first.

Either way, next week I’d like dinner and a movie first.

The Virtual World of 5-year olds

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Without any effort or thought, a handful of Kindergartners just walked into their computer lab, turned on their monitors, opened up a browser, found the bookmark tab, and began playing games.

I just watched it at my son’s school. It was second nature. It was without adult supervision. It was part of the routine.

I fully realize our children are wired. What didn’t occur to me was the ease of it all. The ‘daily life,’ same as -putting on a pair of pants and breathing air- there was to the whole thing.

This isn’t just the next generation, it’s the next Renaissance.

My Interview with SaveDarfur.org

crossposted at BlogHer.com

It’s an issue I, like many Americans, don’t know enough about.

You see it on the news- a celebrity mentions the name or a non-profit begs for your attention. You hear about it on blogs, and when charity events roll around. But are you truly paying attention to Darfur? Do you really know what’s going on there?

I didn’t, that is until my interview with Suzie Armstrong of SaveDarfur.org. As I celebrated the inauguration of Barack Obama in DC I stopped by the Save Darfur offices to sit down with Armstrong to discuss the new administration, the ongoing efforts in the region, and most importantly how YOU can get involved. (*editor’s note: please turn up your volume, thank you)

Take action at SaveDarfur.org.

My Biggest Speaking Gig To Date

Today I faced my toughest crowd.

Kindergartners.

I told them all about my trip to DC to watch Barack Obama become our 44th President. I’m pretty sure they wanted to hear less about Obama and more about my plane ride.

At one point I was busting out gadgets to keep their interest.

The most successful part of my talk? Mentioning Malia and Sasha Obama…and the look of pride on my son’s face as the kids clapped when I finished.

Inauguration ’09: I Saw Nothing But Felt Everything

crossposted at blogher.com

Call it the great “Purple Gate Conspiracy” of 2009. Call it the “mishandling of a moment” call it whatever you like, but I did not get into the swearing-in ceremony of the inauguration of Barack Obama.

Smiling Mama didn’t either. She writes, “Oh, purple gate, purple gate, how you let me down…It all started out fine. Yes, hoards of people and long lines and some confusion, but that was expected. People were happy, talking to their neighbors, a few cheers of ‘Yes we can!’ and ‘Fired up! Ready to Go!’ could be heard in different sections of the line. Then, we–and hundreds and thousands of other purple ticket holders around us–started to get nervous as it approached 9am then 9:30am then 10am then 10:30am then 11am with NO MOVEMENT. Well, slight movement, but I’m convinced that was just the crowd condensing itself. Something went terribly, terribly wrong at the purple gate.”

Smiling Mama and thousands of others are still unsure what happened at the purple, blue, and silver gates but thousands of ticket-holding people did not get in.

The Washington Post has raw video of some of the gate problems and I did my best to lift my arms (not an easy task) and snap a pic.

Waiting at the gate

Once I navigated my way out of the doomed purple gate line and onto the Mall (alllll the way in the BACK by the Washington Monument) I could hear the ceremony over the loudspeakers. With two million of my closest friends.

Then it was time to try and sprint back to my hotel, grab my ball gown, and head back into the heart of chaos.

Yeah. That took three hours and I missed the media entry cut-off time for the ball.

So after NOT getting into the ticketed area of the swearing-in AND missing the ball am I excited? Am I delusional from the crowds? Did all that walking get to me?

No, I’m not delusional. Because today I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with my fellow neighbor and witnessed change.

Today I walked and walked and felt the crush of bodies against my own…and witnessed change.

I may not have seen it in the flesh. I may not have seen it on the jumbotron.

I saw change when the woman next to me in the sea of humanity reached out and embraced me after we heard ‘…so help me god’ over the loudspeaker.

I saw change when in the midst of chaos and dangerous crowd conditions community organizers, yes those Obama campaign volunteers, took charge and parted the sea of people for ambulances and to regain order.

I saw change when two million people pushed and shoved with politeness and smiles.

I saw change when returning to my hotel dejected, ballgown now hanging in the closet, word comes of a party in the hotel bar and grill. Our own neighborhood ball.

And I saw change as the woman on the metro and the people in the hallway and the television and the radio all say the words “President Barack Obama.”

My View of History

Ok so it wasn’t a view, but it was still amazing. More to come.

Inauguration ’09: The Cali Girl Layers Up

crossposted at BlogHer.com

As I head out the door to watch Barack Obama be sworn in as our 44th President, I’m wondering what it will really be like.

Will there really be no cell service because of the amount of people in town?

Will I really have to hold my pee for 4 hours or stand in a 2 hour line for a porta john?

Will I really FREEZE MY BUTT OFF????

I’m not taking any chances. This Cali girl loaded up on snowboarding gear before I left my very sunny, very warm home state. What. Don’t look at me like that. We don’t really have COLD weather stuff in Southern California. It’s all snowboarding or skiing gear. I know. I was all over town before figuring it out.

Layer #1 has some Roxy and some Hot Chillys, because I’m not taking any chances.

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Layer #2 is the “Horray I FOUND a turtleneck in 80 degree weather at the store!”

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Layer #3 has the inaugural hat which Twitter helped me choose!

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Wish me luck. I’m not sure what’s going to happen from here on out, but I do know I will really be witnessing history.

Inauguration ’09: Military Families

crossposted at BlogHer.com

Millions are descending here on Washington, D.C. for reasons that are as vast and varied as our country.

Line for #inaug09 tickets at Cannon building

I’ve met politicians and parents, teachers and truckers. Standing in line waiting for tickets to the swearing-in, you can really get a feel for what may come tomorrow. The community is forming as line mates talk to one another and tell their story: why they came to see Barack Obama sworn-in and how they got here.

Just one of those stories is from one of our very own BlogHer’s. Stephanie Himel-Nelson, aka LawyerMama, along with Vivian Greentree are here representing Blue Star Families for Obama. Stephanie and Vivian spoke with me about their mission and their anticipation for an Obama Administration.

More from DC soon!

Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain blog