Cue the confetti…
2013 is the year I reclaim my life. It is time to become a better ME, with Lupus and with everything I have.
I know New Year’s resolution can be lame…but this one is different. I’m actually on the brink of a breakthrough. Stop me if you’ve heard THAT before…
You see, there are people who live with this disease (and the many other diseases that decided to come along with it) and spend their life in and out of the hospital (been there) and undergo surgery after surgery (been there) losing organ after organ (been there).
But I’ve decided I’m done.
Yes, just decided.
It helps we seem to have found the right drug cocktail, even if we haven’t found the right schedule. It helps that I have been pumping good plasma into my veins for a year. It helps that when I physically feel better, I can actually sense the change in my body, in my mind, and even in my rest.
When you live with pain for so, so long you certainly notice when it is gone. But you notice EVEN MORE when it comes back.
I spent 2012 doing some very important things…learning my limits. Learning how to balance all the things I need to get done, all the things I want to get done, all the things I just can not do.
That may sound so simple to you, but it’s really hard for me.
Now I need to learn how to make the most of my new normal and make sure I am being the best wife and mother I can be to those who have sacrificed more than they should to make sure my life is comfortable and to make sure I had the space I needed to figure all this out.
Appropriately the my family we spent New Years’ Eve putting together a puzzle. Most of New Year’s Day too. It’s still not done. It may never be done. But every so often now we walk by and add another piece to the finished product. Slowly. Adding to the new normal of DONE.
Because eventually this puzzle will be done. It may always be a puzzle. It may always be in our home, in my body..but it doesn’t always have to take up the whole kitchen table. It doesn’t always have to be the major factor is EVERY DECISION.
Nope. It’s time to reclaim our lives for US. We’ll carve out a place for Lupus and all its luggage, but it gets a corner or a closet and we all move on with it in tow.
2013: The Year of NOW