The Chicken Came Before the Egg

I’ve been spending many days and nights around here researching ways to get this body of mine back into tip-top shape…and I’ve come to only one answer in defeating Lupus:


Somewhere in Santa Monica, at a nice desk near the ocean, my husband just laid his sweet head down on his keyboard and is wondering when the sweet relief of death will come save him from this life of marriage to this crazy lady.

Now hear me out just a minute or three here. Or go read something else, I don’t really care.

I want the best possible food to go into the bodies of the people who live in this house. Heck, even those of you that just visit. Eggs are a great source of protein- which the doctor says I need A LOT of. The doctor also wants to see almost NO processed food, no chemicals, no dyes, no … well, nothing.

Now, shopping organic and finding recipes and all that fun grocery love is all well and good. But it sure is missing that certain…JAZZ HANDS quality. The one that makes me want to leap out of bed (and mark these words- I WILL LEAP OUT OF BED SOMEDAY) and get a great and healthy breakfast going for the family and myself. You know, after I have already worked out during sunrise and walked the dog and packed lunches and sat quietly with my tea and book, awaiting the husband and children to come downstairs from their slumber.

Yes, THAT Is how I plan on starting my life over once my body cooperates. Early morning exercise! Nothing but fresh, home cooked food! Total organization!

And where does it all start? The chicken, or the egg?


Which means I want a chicken coop and chickens. But I’d like the magical kind that get along with my dog as though they are best friends and have zero nasty stink …oh, and clean up after themselves.

See…I already have the cute ranch hand:


So really I would just like cute, fluffy, egg producers in my yard that cause zero issues and require zero care. OH…and the home owner’s association won’t mind or notice.

My daughter would be so so so happy if we got chickens. My son will freak out initially but only for about two minutes. Then he will freak out about all the other animals around who might hurt the chickens and then we’ll have to fortify the chicken coop with military grade fencing. But THEN it will be ok.

The point is. I want fresh eggs. I want fresh air. I want clean water. I want food that does not come out of a box. I want the chemicals OUT of the systems of my family (and your family’s systems too) and I want us all to live like we were meant to live: naturally.

Well, naturally within reason. I still need some take-out here and there and a good mani/pedi.

I’m not saying let’s start a commune in my very tiny backyard or anything (although that’s another idea I have for when this whole chicken thing doesn’t pan out) I’m just saying I think half of the reason my body is not fighting as hard as I want it to fight against this disease is a lifetime of food-flavored food being shoveled into my system. No really…FOOD-FLAVORED FOOD instead of fruits and veggies and meat that has no FAKE ingredients hidden inside.

We’re trying things out over here. It’s not easy. We like our junk food and we like our packaged food – but we are working on buying the cans of veggies with organic stuff inside and totally LESS sodium and with NONE of the things on the label we can’t pronounce. Or that Count Waffles CAN pronounce but he heard it on ‘How the Universe Works.’

Back to the chickens.

Who wants to buy me a chicken coop, chickens, and then come take care of them for me? I just want to pet them and eat their eggs.

Also…if the HOA asks, we got a TENT and that noise is simply our silly dog Nicky doing his new IMPRESSION of a chicken. We’re training him to be a Hollywood dog.

Totally plausible. We live in LA.


  1. Dooood, check out I found some cool ones there that have easy clean up. I’m learning that is the biggest pain in the ass. And I also found some really cool ones on craigslist. Other thing I learned is if you want a laying age, look for pullets. At 6 months they are ready for eggs, but after 18 months they “molt” which means lose their feathers and then they don’t lay as many. You can also get them as chicks which would be kinda cute for the kids. If you get them on craigs list or something make sure they haven’t molted and be wary of something like $10. They are hard to get before March/April in stores or online. Craigs list may be only option unless you know someone.


  2. My grandparents farmed and chickens were the only animal my grandma hated due to the stink and mess. But I LOVED it when the baby chicks were delivered and I got to care for them in the barn till they were juvies. I hated it when they died or got eaten by something else. And they’re a bit neurotic. Thanks to my childhood experiences I’ll avoid ever owning them. I’m allergic to eggs and steroids fed to beef and cattle, so I’m beyond picky about what I buy. I avoid feeding hubby (who has RA and Lupus) any processed foods. People are shocked that we never eat out and cook so much. We are just used to it. He gets tired of chicken, would love red meat, but that’s a big no-no in the world of RA. Cooking does take more organization and time, but it’s worth it. It horrifies me to see what people buy at the grocery stores. Stacks and stacks of frozen foods and Lunchables for the kids. Sugary yogurt. Packaged juices. Bags and bags of Doritos. Not a real veggie or piece of fruit to be found. Totally freaks me out. It takes everything in me not to comment on all the crap they’re buying.

    I will now quit my processed foods diatribe and wish you the best of luck with your new food plan!

  3. You must check out the chicken coop that Williams Sonama sells. 🙂 Fancy chickens need fancy digs.

  4. you live in Coyote county. There isn’t a “military grade” made that will keep them out. Put the coop in the front room.

  5. I totally get where you’re coming from. My husband wants to move us out to a big piece of land so we can become some kind of urban farmers. Which would be great if I could do any kind of physical labor for more than 2 minutes.

    But it sure sounds nice. And I do love fresh eggs.

  6. Laughing so hard at the idea of the coop in my front room…. oy.

    And while I love the idea of chickens and pigs and fresh eggs and a big piece of land and me doing physical labor for more than 2 min… I’m thinking farmer’s market eggs will have to do

  7. If you haven’t already, you may be interested in watching the following food docs:

    Hungry for Change (watched the movie, bought the book, cooking the recipes)
    Fat Sick and Nearly Dead (make fresh veg juice)
    Fresh (a lot about chickens in this one)
    Vegicated (not for the faint of heart)
    Food Inc

    Fascinating stuff

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