I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to my children, or how the conversation will go…but we’ll miss ya Maggie. 🙁
Just have them home by dinner
June 21, 2007 by 12 Comments
I just spent 20 minutes consoling a 2-year old who firmly believed she was going to the moon.
Today.
With her Gramps.
You see, my father just left for a doctor appointment and when asked by said 2-year old where he was going, he said “the moon.” Our little princess peanut then said “Gramps, I wanna go Moon TOO!” and gramps said “sure, we’ll go later.”
It’s later. I have a very loud, crying, totally upset child on my hands here. She wants that moon field trip delivered and delivered NOW. Later will not do, using our imaginations will not do, and I don’t have the heart to tell her we’re not actually going to the moon.
So yeah…when Gramps gets back he’s in trouble. Never joke with a 2-year old. Good thing we’re in Florida, maybe we can go see the shuttle land or something.
Its a long way down to the place where we started from
June 18, 2007 by 3 Comments
I wander through this house that is not my home. Looking a pictures. Dusting off memories. Catching parts of home in parts of a foreign house with flamingos out by the pool.
It may not sit in the middle of a street in a working class neighborhood in the suburbs of Detroit, but the foundation is the same. Images of my grandmother.
Images of my childhood, displayed, framed, locked. I can hear the giggles and feel the wonder and confusion. I don’t so much remember as I relive.
I don’t recall as much as I feel the hem of that dress as I twirl and twirl. I feel the straps on my shoulders, scratching my sunburn and falling off and on my skinny shoulder blade. I can smell my baby brother’s powder.
I look in amazement at the changes in the photo sitting beside.
I can hear the song I made the DJ play, because his love is better than ice cream and everyone does know how to fight-especially siblings.
I look at the photo behind these photos.
I wonder what sort of squabbles will shape their relationship. I wonder what the photo that will eventually sit beside these memories will look like. Will she be in a veil? He in a tux? Years later, will they visit me in a different state with a different address and piece together the home they grew up in?
I’m sure I will have displays like these of my own. Snippets of life scattered through out my house. They can wander and relive and wonder. Feel at home in a house not the same.
Giggle. Hug. Relax.
I don’t know what to say…
June 4, 2007 by 11 Comments
…other than I can’t believe I’m putting a yellow ribbon on my tree for a second time.
Bring them all home safe, dammit.
Including my family.
Childless VS. Chaos-Tips for Visitors
September 26, 2006 by 7 Comments
Let’s just say you’ve been invited to hang with the Royal Family. Aside from being awestruck at the chance to hang with such greatness, you are also a little nervous about those small people running around their house.
You know, the kids. Those sticky, loud, pooping things YOU currently don’t have.
Here are a few tips for you, if you should find yourself in the midst of the Chaos in Suburbia that is our happy home.
#1 Should you happen to be employed in a SUPER COOL job, you might want to mention to the Queen and Kaiser that the kids need not know about this super cool job. But since the Queen likes to talk too much, Count Waffles will be VERY excited you are coming and DEMAND you do CIRCUS TRICKS on your day off. So make sure you warm up before ringing the doorbell-those hands can’t walk on themselves and this will be a full scale performance.
#2 It’s best if the children believe you to be MUTE. And a little deaf. If they actually think you will speak to them, they will ask you exactly 344 questions per minute, including:
Why is your belt all spikey
Why is your hair like that
Why do you not live here
Why do you talk that way
Why aren’t you looking at me
Why do you say silly things
Why are you laughing
#3 Expect to be politely corrected for saying “hell.” It’s “heck” in this house. Oh, “fuck” is frowned upon as well, and the Queen will shoot you a dirty look while you, embarrassed, catch yourself and try to gloss over the new word you’ve taught the Count and Princess.
#4 Conversations with any adult in the house will be loud, interrupted frequently, and haphazard. The Queen and Kaiser will continue their story while looking directly at you while the children scream, jump, and throw things for your attention. The Queen and Kaiser carry on as though none of this is going on, leaving you to wonder if you should be looking at the kids, the adults, both, or neither. If you are not used to talking to an adult while also half talking to a child, practice at home before coming.
#5 You will leave confused, exhausted, slightly buzzed, full, and happy. Baby girls will throw their arms around you for a good night hug, small boys will demand you return tomorrow to perform yet another handstand, and two adults will be thrilled to have the best man at their wedding turn up after so many lost years.
#6 Stop on your way back to your tour bus for more condoms.
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