2 dips in the pool.
1 shower.
1 washcloth wipe-down.
1 wet wipe scrub.
Johnson and Johnson Babywash. Dove soap. Shampoo. Mom’s uber-expensive face wash.
“Washable” markers. Crayola fuckers. Liars. Liars. Liars.
‘Cause they are liars
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Category Archives: Royal Pain
Fire is OUT
…for now anyway. They are predicting 115 degree weather this afternoon. Fun times. Fun times.
Thanks for everyone’s concern. The poor Kaiser had a two and a half hour ride home last night, detoured.
$100 later
The Royal Minivan’s airconditioning is fixed. The Count says “But Mommy, ALL my friends put stickers in their car air conditioners.” The nice men at the dealership are saving a “My Little Pony” sticker from the pile of 12 they retrieved.
Technical Difficulties
Ok, so there are a few little bumps here with the new blog. Hang in there with me, please.
In the meantime, ponder my latest theory:
Douching. Our mother’s generation douched. Our generation does not douche.
To all the men I’ve beaten down before
There is nothing like a snarky woman in your fantasy football league to spice things up.
Try three. The girls and I are officially part of the Blog Pound League some Daddybloggers and Draft Day Suit bloggers put together. And while Sarah and Gidge really know their football, my NFL knowledge is above par, yet still lacking. So I am resorting to Guerrilla Warfare.
The boys have already started talking smack. And if there is one thing I do really well (hey, hey…out of the gutter there boys-but you’d be right on that too) it’s speak to grown men like they are helpless children. I’ll start with the usual verbal assaults, but don’t think I’m above a long monologue about my period and tampons just to make you weep and beg for mercy.
You boys know that women never play fair. So expect me to cheat and catfight my way to the pot of gold in this league. I’ll have you quitting because your WIFE won’t let you play with that bitch anymore. Is that PORN on your computer again? Did it really come from that GIRL in your fantasy league??? Oh yeah, I will stoop that low.
So I figure with the boys out of the way, my only real competition is the gals. Sarah will put too many Bucs players on her team to be a real threat. I’m hoping Gidge gets overwhelmed with the whole “has a job� thing and misses some key transactions.
That just leaves me. And my ample breasts. Which I will use and abuse in order to win money. And fame. And glory.
Oh, and Sarah…I totally blame you for my new obsession with fantasy football. You’ve created a monster.
Shiney New Blog
The Queen requests you update your blogrolls to reflect the change. Yes, that’s www.queenofspainblog.com.
The Queen also admits she has no idea how to work this wordpress thingy. So she’s off to shave her royal poon instead.
As you can plainly see, she’s already f’d up the photo sizes. Not to mention the post that was here a few hours ago, plugging the UBER fabbbuuu BLOGME (oh, lookie there, we made a link) craziness that will occur on Monday.
IF we (that’s the Royal WE) can figure this out by then.
I will be at Blogher and DotMoms this weekend. Just for the hell of it, I may post at Draft Day Suit, too. Kick off the new homebase blog with a bang.