Queen of Spain Blog

AMERICAN AIRLINES BLOWS

May 25, 2007 by Queen of Spain 8 Comments

I am finally in San Fransisco, and due to a massive FUCK UP by AMERICAN AIRLINES I MISSED MY REALLY IMPORTANT MEETING with these lovely women.

I don’t want to talk about it…yet. let’s just say I was DENIED BOARDING NOT for mechanical reasons and NOT for weather reasons…but because THEY FUCKED UP.
So I’m tired and drunk and in this hotel room so somebody had best call me or skype me (queenofspainblog) or IM me or SOMETHING. SITTING on my ASS in San FRAN mad and bored. NOTHING good can come of this.
NOW PEOPLE.

I’m waiting.

And really pissed. So you can watch or talk to me LIVE and hear me RANT. EMAIL me if you want my cell # or skype me or whatever. And so help me if you are within 100 miles of San Fran COME GET ME and take me somewhere fun. NOW.

Queenofspainblog@yahoo.com

Filed Under: BlogHer.org, Royal Rant

Stepford Crazy-now with less Paxil

May 24, 2007 by Queen of Spain 18 Comments

I’m off to the doctor today to discuss the possibility of ditching my anti-depressant. Yes, many of you just shook your heads upon reading that and went “nooooooooooo!” I don’t blame you.

I’ve been on Paxil for about 17 months. I’m still crazy, but I no longer have anxiety attacks over imagined kidnappers. Here is the other thing-I’m fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. I’ve gained about 30lbs on the drug. I’m the biggest I have ever been NOT pregnant.

I want off. And I want off now.

So I’m going to do my best to not LIE and tell the doctor I’m FANTASTIC. I’m going to tell him I’m better, I’m happier, and I no longer will stare at strangers intently at the park wondering if they are sexual predators. I have the libido of a 16 year old boy and I’m eating well and exercising. Correction-I’m not eating too much shit and every so often I go to the gym.

I’ll be honest. I’m starting to have those ideas in my head that the medicating of women of child bearing age is overrated. I know it worked for me, so I have NO SANE reason why I feel that way, other than I am sick of hearing everyone I know is on something to make them less bitchy.

So yes, I am taking a chance by thinking I can go off the Paxil. If I start having heart thumps when my husband is late coming home and am convinced he’s dead on the side of the road, I will go back on the Paxil. Or some other drug that won’t make me as fat.

Because I don’t care what you think…the fat is almost as bad as the crazy.

Filed Under: Stepford Crazies

A Day In The Life

May 22, 2007 by Queen of Spain 11 Comments

I can’t ever seem to put into words what really goes on around here. The everyday, little things that make me shake my head, roll my eyes, and wonder why in the hell I ever, ever, ever had children. I could tell you they are nutty little creatures, but you wouldn’t really believe me.

So I shall SHOW you instead.

From telling my daughter today she was silly and her reply of “I don’t need all this,” to today’s impromptu naked DJ session in my living room, complete with a mix master and a naked cowgirl.

Filed Under: Count Waffles, Princess Peanut, Stepford Crazies

An Opportunity of A Lifetime (OR the stupidest night you’ve had in a long time)

May 22, 2007 by Queen of Spain 7 Comments

I have 24 hours in the San Jose/San Fransisco areas starting THIS Friday at 11am.

Make my schedule for me. I will fill in the hours as things get moving..but so far I have TWO engagements: a lunchtime meeting on Friday with the fabulous Blogher founders and a breakfast on Saturday with the wonderful family at Violet the Verbose.

Other than that..I have a car, a flight, and no kids or husband.

I need:

~~a hotel room~~ Staying at the Queen of Nob Hill, aka the Fairmont. Get it…Queen? on a NOB? Get it??? *snort* sorry
maybe some Giants tickets? I hear that big headed guy might break some silly record soon

fun people to come out and play with me

Your suggestions and YOU are welcome to join me!!! I mean…come on…I’m FUN! And if nothing else, I’m really loud and annoying when drunk. That’s worth the entertainment right there.

Filed Under: BlogHer.org

Party Girls

May 21, 2007 by Queen of Spain 6 Comments

There are days when some things smack you in the face. Times when everything is so very clear, you have to blink.

My 2-year old daughter is a party girl. Like her mother before her, she can bring down the house with a saunter and a hair flip. I’ve spent the past two years hoping she will be more of a a “class clown” or “ham”-even calling her these things to try and solidify her character.

No luck. As I drank martini’s with Karen this weekend, it became very, very, very clear exactly the personality emerging in my little mini-me-and Karen nailed it when she said, laughing, “she’ll be doing keg-stands.”

Instead of being afraid that she is her mother’s daughter-I think I’m going to just embrace her free spirit. I’m going to show her how to be the fun, yet in control party girl. The one who can make everyone in the room turn their heads to see, and make them all feel comfortable and at ease with just her smile.

In the meantime, she’ll wear doll skirts on her head and prance around like she’s Queen of the World.

I can’t imagine where she gets it.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Princess Peanut

Crotch Torture-DENIED

May 19, 2007 by Queen of Spain 10 Comments

Sigh. Sadly, Karen and I will not be going for her crotch torture extravaganza. As it turns out, we received inside information her crotch waxer was, shall we say, sub-par. We were advised to take her hairy cooter and RUN.

So we got pedicures instead.