2008 February

Maybe My Mom Will Help Too

February 16, 2008 by Queen of Spain 6 Comments

Looks like I’m not entirely crazy. My favorite part of the article is how they reference “party elders” as though there is also a secret knock and hazing ritual.

I nominate my Mom to help. She’ll whip their butts into unity so fast it will make your head spin.

In fact, I nominate just about all the Moms I know. I mean really, we handle needy, self-centered, spoiled, ego-maniacs all day. We force them to share. We force them to play nice. We put them in time-outs for negative attacks.

Can you imagine Obama and Clinton in a room stomping their feet saying “but it’s MY nomination! MINE MINE MINE?”

Now sweetie, I know you have the Superdelegates, but Barack did get the people’s vote.

And yes honey, I know you won Iowa, but Hillary took Michigan and Florida. I know we told you they wouldn’t count, but Daddy changed his mind. Sometimes life isn’t fair.

So long as they get their act together, because I really don’t want to be saying…

I’m sorry honey, but you were too busy fighting with your sister, and that mean old McCain came and took your Presidency. Maybe next time you’ll learn to work as a team.

Filed Under: kill me now, Queen Mum

Giggle This Weekend

February 16, 2008 by Queen of Spain

Some Weekend Fun:

Back by popular demand (in light of recent events) I give you my daughter singing “I have a vagina.”

Filed Under: Princess Peanut

I Want My Bra Back, Bitch

February 15, 2008 by Queen of Spain 19 Comments

I’ve single handedly killed the women’s movement.

Sweet.

Mind you, it’s the women’s movement from the 60’s. The one that seems to assume anyone who doesn’t like a woman does not like her based on her vagina.

NEWSFLASH: People do not like Hillary Clinton for a variety of reasons-99.9% of them have nothing to do with her vagina.

It’s not some grand scheme by the patriarchy to make us think it’s not about her vagina. It is really, and truly, not about her vagina. And the current crop of females are really and truly not that easily fooled.

When you talk to the anti-Hillary crowd they say a number of things from “I hate her husband” or “I hate that she stayed with her cheating husband” or “I hate the way she voted on Iraq” or even “I hate the Clinton name” or “I hate the idea of Universal Health Care” OR they even say “I just really don’t like her at all.”

It is the last one that the old school feminist crowd is SURE means: “because she’s a tough broad and we hate tough broads.” Or they like to tell us it’s because we’ve been conditioned to think a strong woman is a bitch and should be hated.

I feel the need to list strong women that are generally loved by society right now, but I will resist the urge.

There are also women who are actually HATED because they are women.

Senator Clinton does not fall into either of those categories. She does not garner that “we hate hillary” happy fun time chant based on her gender. It would be so much easier if she did. Then we could all jump up and scream SEXIST! You men try and keep us down and you can suck it! …Or something.

Personally I am ok with Senator Clinton as a politician, she plays the game, she schemes, she gets shit done, she makes behind-closed-door-deals, she even launches negative ad campaigns and speaks in half-truths.

Senator Barack Obama plays this game as well. He does it as well or better than she does and THAT is why I’m voting for him. Despite his race (sarcasm) he seems to avoid the hate Senator Clinton does. Now, go ahead and fight over the race/gender issue but I really believe it’s all about personality.

The African-American candidate does not seem to be having issues winning over voters. The female candidate does.

A + B = sexism for the old school.

A + B =less than dynamic candidate for the new school.

If Senator Clinton could be a better public speaker maybe this wouldn’t be a problem. If Senator Clinton was named Senator Hillary Smith maybe this wouldn’t be a problem. But the default position that it’s all about her vagina is weak.

You see, we new school feminists don’t look too much at that gender thing unless forced. We’re over it because what is left of the patriarchy we tend to crush here and there when we feel like it or are bored with mommyblogging.

I refuse to vote for Senator Hillary Clinton simply because she has a vagina. And I refuse to be guilted into voting for her when there is an equally qualified and viable candidate, from my party, on the ticket.

I am not going to sit around and let people accuse ME of being a bad feminist. The problem is the majority of women under the delusion that my letter to Senator Clinton was for her to bow out due to pressures from the patriarchy are feminists still fighting the old fight. The one where women were not in the board room. The one where you were conditioned to stay-at-home with your offspring and have no life of your own.

I have choices. While I thank those same women for fighting to give me these choices, I loathe them for finding me ill educated enough to make a choice on my own and without their advice.

Is there still sexism? You bet. Are there still battles to be fought? Of course.

But speaking as the woman with two books by Senator Clinton on my nightstand, a signed letter by then First-Lady Clinton framed, and who genuinely thinks she has the ability to be President…this is not about gender. This is about the right person for the job.

Clinton divides. Obama unites.

The end.

I encourage all women to leave a link to their post on the subject. I know Mrs. Flinger already has her post rocking the Mom-o-sphere. Tell me, do you vote with your vagina? Do you make every decision in your life based on the patriarchy?

Also…I love bras-they keep the girls lifted. Burn mine and I’ll cut you.

*It’s been brought to my attention with the new design you can’t see the links very well, but if you click on the BRAs you’ll understand the sarcasm, or not. There are some links in the first sentence too. I know, hard to see. Working on it. Rome wasn’t built in a day here people.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Royal Decree

I Ain’t Got Nuthin’ But Love For Ya’*

February 14, 2008 by Queen of Spain 14 Comments

Much like when I wrote an open letter to Michelle Obama in December of 2006, I now find myself scratching my head at the response to my letter to Senator Hillary Clinton.

You people are crazy.

Alright, not all of you. In fact, I owe hugs and beers to many of you for your support. Even if you did not agree with my “whacky” idea that a candidate quit the race, you were respectful in your discussion. So thanks. And let’s face it, respectful in discussion is more than I usually am, so you get bonus points from me for keeping a level head.

The rest of you may just want to keep watching American Idol and worrying about Britney instead of coming back to this blog.

Some thoughts as I scan the hundreds of comments over at Huffington Post, at Digg, and here on Queen of Spain:

-candidates drop out of races all the damn time and states continue to vote in primaries that don’t matter. I live in California. My primary vote never mattered until this year. I’ve voted in PLENTY of elections in which it was already decided by the time my state got a chance. Guess what? You still get to vote in a general election. No really. I swear.

-If you don’t think Senator Clinton is divisive, read the comments in the last post.

-I don’t want anyone to give up on “fighting” for us or for themselves. Please. I realize the race is still neck and neck, I’m not a moron. What I was asking of the Senator was to sacrifice due to her inability to win over those Hillary-haters. She’s had time, it’s not working. That means if she wins (and mind you, if she does I am 100% behind her) we will be in a very similar situation as we are with George W. Sure, she’s on my team…but that does not change the hate. Yes, of course there are Senator Obama haters. OF COURSE. I just haven’t seen the same level of divisiveness with him. If anything, he’s winning many over.

-Superdelegates. Or as my son calls them, Super-sniff-my-butts, because he misheard me talking about them on the phone. But really, we might as well call them Super-sniff-my-butts. I’m really not liking these scenarios where Obama wins the popular vote and Clinton convinces more Superdelegates. Scary. And worthy of a revolution. As if the electoral college isn’t bad enough, now we’re faced with a frightening Superdelegate situation. Whoo hoo Democracy.

-What I was asking Senator Clinton do to was earth shattering and I realize that. I do not want a repeat of South Carolina. I do not want to see this party fight it out until the END of August and the convention leaving a bitter taste in all our mouths. The momentum of Obama’s campaign, coupled with the grassroots base and the divisiveness of Clinton does nothing but lead me to an early September of not just disenfranchised voters but near riots. I can’t be the only one who sees this coming.

-It’s Valentine’s Day. Let’s at least pretend to get along. I’m looking at the Wisconsin ads now and am quickly becoming disgusted at both campaigns when I see where this is heading. It is not pretty and it is most certainly politics as usual.

We can talk more about this tomorrow-live on ooVoo. Tell me why you hated, loved, wanted to rip to shreds my letter to Senator Clinton. Tell me if you have a better idea how to heal this country. Or are you over the idea of bringing everyone back together? Would you rather just win in November and oppress those right-wingers for a few decades?

In the meantime, I’m off to hug some Valentines…

*titled especially for the grammar nazi’s

Filed Under: Holding Court, kill me now, Queenie Backup, War in Iraq Sucks It

Dear Senator Hillary Clinton, Please Step Down

February 12, 2008 by Queen of Spain 254 Comments

This is a very hard letter for me to write, so please bear with me.

I’d like to ask you, with all due respect and humility, to step down as a Democratic Candidate for President of the United States.

Please understand this is not because I believe you can not or should not lead this nation. Please understand that I find you qualified, capable, and worthy. Please also understand I want nothing more than to see a female as the leader of the free world. I would be pleased and honored if you were that female.

However I am finding, right or wrong, many citizens of this country seem to react to you on an emotional level. Emotional, not practical. They can’t seem to see your record. They can’t seem to see your policy. They just hear or read “Hillary” and venom or praise spews.

I thought that with your candidacy, would come reason. I thought that you would be able to get a fair shake by main stream media, by voters, by sexists, and by soccer moms. I thought over time people would begin to see that you really are an effective politician.

I was wrong.

Tonight, I’m typing as I watch you speak in El Paso, Texas. I’m sad. There really is no other way to put it-I’m sad.

I truly believed you would be the best person for the job, and I had this nagging thought in the back of my mind that is now at the forefront. The thought that drove me on Super Tuesday to Vote for Senator Obama and the thought that is the driving force as I write tonight: Senator Hillary Clinton divides this country.

It’s not fair. It’s not right. And under just about ANY other circumstance I would go to the mat for you. However we are a wounded and deeply divided nation. We are a nation at war. We are a nation at odds with each-other. It’s ugly. I thought you could get people past it. I really did.

When I told myself it was gender that got people going, I refrained from asking and wanting you to step aside. Simply on principle, I wanted to see you run and win because they said it couldn’t be done. Because it was my belief, this was all about being a girl.

It’s not, and I was wrong.

I firmly believe while the gender issue has given you a handicap I hope we all one day overcome, it is NOT the reason people have a gut reaction to you or your campaign or your legacy.

Enter the Senator from Illinois, and what I think could be your true legacy. If you were to step aside now, shockingly early and shockingly un-Hilllary-like, you could galvanize an entire nation behind your party. If you were to throw your weight, and your tremendous political clout behind Senator Obama you could still change the world and make your mark in a way no one would expect and everyone would admire.

I don’t want to see you throw in the towel because the fight is too hard or the mountain too tall. I am asking you to throw it in because history is on the line. It is not the history either of us expected, however it is an equally important, momentous, earthshaking change in this country we sorely need.

Do something no one would ever expect. Do something extraordinary. Do something that changes politics as usual and changes history.

I could have never predicted having to chose between what my husband called “the lesser of two goods, not the lesser of two evils” when it came time to cast my vote.

It was agonizing.

But in the end, with no major policy difference and valid reasons on BOTH sides, I had to go with the candidate who I thought could best bring our nation back together. Who could cross party lines and gender lines and racial lines.

I wanted it to be you, but it’s not. For some reason you still get people very riled up, and not in the good way.

There is no way around it-it sucks. But after 7 years of nothing but fighting and head shaking and feeling like we’re living in two Americas, I can’t do it again. Not even if my team is in office.

I really hate asking you to do this, but I want you to please step down and let this nation heal.

We’ve been too angry for too long and your history and your name brings a suitcase of anger to the White House front door.

With the full weight of the Clinton name, behind the scenes, your true legacy could be written. With the full weight of the Clinton know-how you could help orchestrate the next chapter in American history where an African-American leads our nation.

It is this time in history your nation needs you.

As nation’s go, ours has never been one to do things the way we predict. Who could have seen when we finally get our first, legitimate, female front runner we’d see our first, legitimate front runner of color?

Our nation and it’s people need you to do what is best for this country. We need you to be true to what you say on the stump and bring us back together.

If you firmly believe that there is still time for you to change the hearts and minds of those rude and stubborn Americans who are voting with their gut when they see “Hillary” on the ballot-then please, prove me wrong. I’ll be at the Democratic National Convention come August and I’ll hold up my Hillary sign loud and proud and fall in line.

But I think you’ve tried. You tried with everything you had to overcome that Clinton-emotional reaction. Here we are, moving into Texas and Ohio and Pennsylvania-and it’s not you winning over hearts and minds, it’s the Senator from Illinois.

Let’s end the division in this country now. Right now. Let’s start with the Democratic Party early and provide a united front against the GOP months ahead of schedule.

Let’s take back this country for the people, with you playing a much different role than you envisioned.

Make history. Make us one. Step down now.

Sincerely,

Erin Kotecki Vest

voter, mother, woman, feminist, writer, dreamer, and Hillary fan

*edited on Valentine’s Day* want to yell at me in person over this letter? Sign up to webchat with me on ooVoo Friday, Feb. 15th from 930am PST to 1130am PST. Hell, I’ll even throw in more time just to take your call

http://www.myoovooday.com/signup.php

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa

Hillary and Erin: Pimps Forever ? !

February 11, 2008 by Queen of Spain 21 Comments

I need to stand up and take Senator Hillary Clinton’s side on this one.

There is no excuse for a network on-air personality to say Chelsea Clinton was “sort of being pimped out” by the Clinton campaign. And Barbara Walters is rather deluded if she thinks this issue really should be dropped by the Senator.

I’ve heard from numerous sources Chelsea Clinton is a fantastic and energizing public speaker and (gasp) fully supporting her mother (no way?) during this election. Let’s just go ahead and assume a daughter can and would want to support her mother if she ran for office.

Now that Chelsea has stepped a bit further into the limelight on her own, it stands to reason the media will discuss her role, her events, her candor, her demeanor. We are no longer in the situation of the 90’s where Chelsea was the daughter of a president, in the limelight due to her parent’s choices.

Reporter David Shuster has apologized for the “pimp” comment. Keith Olbermann has apologized. The head of NBC has apologized. Then Senator Clinton sent a letter, reiterating how inappropriate the comment really was, and Barbara Walters thinks she’s gone too far.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. You come after my daughter…my kids-make some stupid remark or say something inappropriate-do you think *I* would let up?

Exactly.

Hell no.

I want heads. And I want them to roll.

In fact, I want them rolling and then wrapped in a bow and then served on a golden platter while you kneel at my feet.

I think the Mom and Daughter get to decide when to drop it, not Barbara Walters.

I’d have to argue against the idea this is a campaign ploy to keep Hillary’s name in the news. I mean, really. It’s all we’re hearing about, so that’s not a problem. I don’t think it’s some ploy by the campaign for Clinton to play victim and have us all feeling sorry for them. I really think this is a matter of being tired of the bullshit.

How much Chris Matthews and David Shuster can you take before you finally write the head of NBC and say WTF??!!! Enough already you assholes.

Notice Senator Clinton didn’t make such a bru-ha-ha about all this when they were just going after her. Cross the line to the kids, regardless of their age or voluntary or involuntary involvement…

..and the gloves are off.

I got your back Senator Clinton. Let them brand us pimps and accuse us of exploiting our kids. We know better. And we’re certainly changing the world, aren’t we?

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Queenie Backup

Their Coats

February 8, 2008 by Queen of Spain 20 Comments

It was when I hung my children’s coats up in the closet it really hit me.

Their tiny 2T and 4T coats.

I took the hanger, slipped it into and through sleeves of no more than a handful of inches and suddenly was overcome by the passing of time.

I don’t notice it often. Life is usually going too fast and I can’t be interrupted with these emotional thoughts and fancies. There is money to be made. Bills to be paid. Appointments to keep. New technology and emerging ideas to conquer.

We all do it. We all get caught up in that thing called life. Routine.

Then I hang up a few coats and it all stops.

Those tiny coats.

They are not as tiny as they used to be. We’ve gone from one-piece, snapped, leg-less sack coats to small jean jackets and windbreakers hastily thrown on the floor next to tiny backpacks and worksheets.

Pneumonia has slowed me down, and while I spend another day on the couch I wonder why I was going so fast. It’s exciting to be involved with things that don’t involve Playdoh or Elmo. Trying to get in front of all the amazing things happening in the world today from historic elections to emerging technology.

Then my daughter crawls up on my chest and lays her head in the curve of my neck and nuzzles. Her long and lean legs now dangle so far…too far. My son asks to be carried to bed and I clumsily attempt to wrap his almost 5-year old legs around my waist and we struggle up the stairs.

I come back down to tidy up backpacks, and school notes, worksheets, paintings, toys, and coats.

Those tiny coats.

Shutting the closet door I sigh. Shutting the closet door my heart hurts. I won’t carry them soon. They won’t cuddle much soon.

Those coats will soon fall off those hangers from their weight and size. The ideas and thoughts and personalities will take the bodies that fill those tiny coats from dependent to independent and I will have done my job.

I open the closet door again to just touch those coats. Those tiny 2t and 4t coats.

I miss them already and ache.

I make point to lock, into my increasingly forgetful mind, the mental image of those tiny coats, one next to the other, draped and looking generally absurd on those adult hangers.

I breathe deeply and touch their sleeves and shut the door again.

Those tiny coats.

Next week, and the week after, and months and years after that, I’m going to remind myself of those coats over and over and over again.

Those tiny, tiny coats.

And slow down, breathe deep, and enjoy.

Filed Under: Count Waffles, Feeling YaYa, Princess Peanut, Stepford Crazies

I Have Pneumonia

February 6, 2008 by Queen of Spain 12 Comments

So I sent my daughter, who will be 3-years old on March 30th, to entertain you while I rest.

Filed Under: Princess Peanut, Queenie Backup, Royal Pain