Kindergarten: Now With More Flirting!

I witnessed my son hit on a girl today.

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I wasn’t imagining it, either. I watched, mouth agape, as he told a brown-haired, 5-year old vixen he loved her the best of all the other girls in the class and wanted to hug her.

She then marched up to me..the mom..and said “Mrs. Vest, Jack loves me the best and I’m riding in YOUR car today.”

My jaw was still on the floor so I didn’t respond.

WTF just happened? I mean, nevermind that *I* had the other girls pin down Brian H. on the Kindergarten playground when I was 5…you know, so I could kiss him. THIS WAS DIFFERENT.

My baby boy was WORKING IT with half the girls in the class. The tall blonde, the green-eyed brunette. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Let’s review my week. I arrive home to find my daughter has been flashing her underwear to the boys in town. I take my son on a field trip to find out he’s been playing the Kindergarten field.

I realized this day would come- the kids exploring and what not. But this is out of hand. I need a new plan. Perhaps they get locked in their rooms for all of eternity. Perhaps convents and military school.

Perhaps I am prescribed Valium and start making a nightly martini. Because this shit might kill me.

However I did see a ray of hope…or rather, I felt it. During today’s field trip, somewhere between learning about Bristol Farm’s deli counter and their cheese guy, MY little guy put his arms around me.

ME.

And in front of his whole class, all the girls and boys, he said, “Mom, I love you best, you know that, right?”

Damn right. And don’t think I didn’t eye each and everyone of those little miss things so they knew it, too.

Barbie Has Invited Me Over For A Party

My daughter and I are headed to Malibu next week to check out Barbie’s REAL DREAM HOUSE and celebrate her 50th Birthday.

OMG BARBIE HAS A REAL DREAM HOUSE IN MALIBU and I get to see her closet.

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Dress Watch: Day 4

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I have gotten her bathed and new, clean clothes on UNDER…however we’re now on Day 4 and counting of the Great Pink Party Dress WEARATHON of 2009.

Rush Is In Charge: The END of the GOP

crossposted at BlogHer.com

 

As a progressive it’s not hard for me to admit I’m enjoying the power struggle in the GOP. It seems it’s not very clear who is in charge. Some days it’s the newly elected chairman, Michale Steele, other days it’s a talk show host.

Over the weekend Steele called Rush Limbaugh’s rhetoric “incendiary” and “ugly” and insisted that he, not Limbaugh, is in charge of the GOP. Now CNN reports Steele is looking to kiss and make-up with the talk show host and has apologized saying “There are those out there who want to look at what he’s saying as incendiary and divisive and ugly. That’s what I was trying to say. It didn’t come out that way.”

It didn’t take Louisiana Governor (and current “chosen one” in the GOP) long to chime in:

Now believe me when I tell you it was not very long ago Democrats were in disarray and the Republicans were taking swipes at their “lack of clear message” and “disorganization.” But I’m not sure a talk show host was ever running the show. Keith Olbermann was not setting the Democratic agenda.

However it now appears Rush is not just setting the GOP agenda, but forcing it’s chairman and it’s biggest names to kiss his ring.

I’d like to just review some Rush Limbaugh classic moments, if you don’t mind.

“Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.”

“This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation…I’m talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of the need to blow some steam off?” –on the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal

“We’re not sexists, we’re chauvinists — we’re male chauvinist pigs, and we’re happy to be because we think that’s what men were destined to be. We think that’s what women want.”

“The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.”

“They oughtta change Black History Month to Black Progress Month and start measuring it.”

“Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”

“Sorry to say this, I don’t think he’s been that good from the get-go. I think what we’ve had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well.” –on Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, while working as a commentator on ESPN

And let’s not forget the very best of his racist remarks:

1. I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.

2. You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.

3. Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?

4. Right. So you go into Darfur and you go into South Africa, you get rid of the white government there. You put sanctions on them. You stand behind Nelson Mandela — who was bankrolled by communists for a time, had the support of certain communist leaders. You go to Ethiopia. You do the same thing.

5. Take that bone out of your nose and call me back(to an African American female caller).

Yes, GOP…this is your leader. Wow, you must be so very proud. So on top of being sexist and racist, Rush apparently has trouble with the constitution as well- you know, that document I’m fairly sure most conservatives live and die by. Firedoglake points out Rush’s gaffe:

See a pattern here?

Karen Hughes misattributed the phrase “One nation under God,” Sarah Palin didn’t know what the First Amendment is or what the Vice President does, and now this.

“We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. [Applause] Liberty, Freedom. [Applause] And the pursuit of happiness. [Applause] Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault. [Applause]”

Zzzzzt!

So sorry, El Rushbo, those words are not from the Preamble. They’re in the Declaration of Independence.

All this love wingnuts claim to have for the Constitution never seems to manifest itself in, like, actual knowledge of the Constitution.

Now Erin, perhaps Rush is just misunderstood, perhaps (you say) I just don’t understand his satire or his parody or his style…Emily Hummel tries to explain via twitter:

“The RNC catering to Rush Limbaugh is why we Republicans have a bad name. Honestly everyone is not that bad!”

I hope she’s right. However just the decorations at the recent CPAC conference makes me leery the party of the “Big Tent” does more than alienate everyone under it’s umbrella.

With that in mind I would like to propose a theory: the GOP is alienating itself from just about every segment of America one-by-one and isolating itself into irrelevance.

The party that started and came into it’s own with an entertainer, will now end with an entertainer.

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren’t! Read more of our coverage in
News & Politics. Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also writes at Queen of Spain Blog

Coming this birthday: The Nunnery

I just returned from a business trip to find that my soon-to-be 4-year old daughter was entertaining a large group of boys at McDonald’s Playland….by lifting her dress and showing them her underwear.

Do I have to wear a large Scarlett F on my shirt now? Parenting FAIL?

I’m now concerned she’ll grow up to be a stripper …or worse. She’ll grow up to be like her mother.

She says hi>

New BlogHer Backtalk- my favorite so far

My Hollywood Family- The Shocking Truth

I had a very stark reminder tonight about how different we all are.

As my husband and I celebrated the addition of another Academy Award to his resume, I remarked online how nice it was to hear so many of the acceptance speeches include thanks to wives and kids.

I’m a wife. I have kids. I notice these things.

Of course the internet being what it is, it didn’t take long before a very snarky comment was thrown my way by a conservative– “Yeah, they are such role models for family values.”

And I suddenly remembered what I had clearly blacked out since November 4th:

Many people in this country don’t believe my family has values. They can’t comprehend my family is “good” or “virtuous.” It’s incomprehensible to them that we are decent Americans.

We live in that scary place called California. My husband works for that really pornographic and satan-filled industry called “Hollywood” and OMG I have one hell of a mouth. Clearly we can’t be normal, good, decent human beings.

Nearly half of America still believes this way. They are shocked we raise children and teach them of love and kindness. They don’t know how to behave when I tell them I cooked dinner last night, and the kids cleared the dishes. That we attended a charity function. That we help our neighbors that we contribute to our community. That yes…we are actually GOOD people.

I suppose it serves me right to a degree to be stereotyped. It’s much easier for me to think of the right wing as some religious extremists idiots who believe in fairy tales instead of science. But alas, it’s not that simple is it? As much as I LOVE sweeping generalizations about the morons of the GOP and their equality hating ways, we all know they all don’t fit into that picture I try, myself, to paint.

Even in my anger, I have conceded time and time again that…ok, fine…not all Republicans are stupid. And not all religions teach hate. And don’t think it doesn’t pain me to have to concede this fact, time and time again.

So I think it’s time to shed some light on the other side of the coin. That now rather angry and defeated segment of America still stinging from their loss in November. Still trying so very hard to hate their President. Still hell bent on believing we’re all evil, indecent, NONfamily loving liberals out to destroy their churches and their way of life.

They quip that it’s laughable those accepting awards on a stage in California could possibly love or value their families enough to thank them. To mention them. To even remotely care about their loved ones.

Well tonight that quip went directly to a family involved with those on stage. Who know FULL WELL their kindness, their love for their families, and their humanity. Who sat with family to watch as our livelihood -you know that pesky economy thing you keep talking about- had an industry celebration.

Yes as the Right mocked the “self important Left” for fawning over “actors” …the Left is here, calling out many of the smug and self-righteous Right. Who seem to think their virtues are better, and more pure. Who seem to think they are more decent, and they are living the life of Saints as we wallow in sin.

I almost feel sad that you miss the humanness of a family- any family, not just those you think are good. That you assume we’re out cheating on our taxes, robbing banks, teaching our kids to fight and hurt others. You condemn GOOD families because they are different than yours. Because in your mind, they can’t possibly be anything but wrong, or evil. They can’t be anything but unnatural because they don’t work the same way YOUR family does.

Yes, I do feel sad. I feel sad because when I meet you- sure I have my own assumptions- but they never include that you don’t care for your loved ones as I do mine. I might question your motives and I might question your sanity, but I can’t possibly question your family. Sure, I find it odd. Sure I find it unnatural. Sure I’d never do it the way you do…but I’d never assume you weren’t capable of thinking of your family during a celebration.

That how foreign this concept of “liberals are good people” actually is to many in on the Right. They can’t even comprehend that we have families or values.

Newsflash: Conservatives don’t own the rights to good, decent, loving families.

Newsflash: Liberals love their wives and spouses and partners and children too.

Newsflash: Kindness and generosity are NOT conservative values, they are HUMAN values. Just like you don’t want the GLBT community owning the rights to the Rainbow…YOU don’t get to own the rights to FAMILY.

So how about we move forward from here. I’ll do my best to not assume you’re all uneducated, backwood, anti-science, anti-common sense, tank-loving, sexist, homophobes…and you do your best to not assume we’re all coke-sniffing, baby-killing, irresponsible whores….

Sound good?



I Wasn’t Lying