So a Funny Thing Happened While I Was Watching the Health Care Summit

crossposted at BlogHer.com

There I was, knee-deep in my element. Answering work e-mails, editing posts, watching whitehouse.gov‘s live stream of the Health Care Summit at Blair House. I was screaming at my screen, tweet cheering the Dems and tweet jeering the GOP … sitting in my pjs, loving life.

Then the phone rang.

Mrs. Vest this is N, the school nurse. Your son is in my office with an abnormal bloody nose, can you come right away?

Jack's 1st, and hopefully last, concussion

The rest is kind of a blur. The kind of blur a parent gets when you get a call you don’t exactly understand but know your child needs you NOW.

My first reaction was to grab my wallet and keys and run, and then I realized I wasn’t dressed. I threw on clothes while thinking

bloody nose?

wait … why am I rushing to school for a bloody nose?

abnormal?

did she say clots?

Clothes on, I grabbed my wallet and keys, typed an incoherent message to my work colleagues (I think it said something like “school called bloody nose clots jack running”) and bolted out the door.

I called my husband on the way, said I would call when I knew more, and then maybe broke several laws driving from my street to my son’s school — which I have now deemed too far away.

I might have passed a California Highway Patrol cruiser along the way, and I might have been a)on the phone and b)driving like a bat out of hell and c)thinking “Fucking Chase Me Copper — I’ll pull into the school parking lot, and you can ticket me as I run to my kid.” I swear to you I made eye contact with the officer behind the wheel, and it was the “I’m a mom on a MISSION DO NOT MESS WITH ME IN THIS MINIVAN” look. It worked. I blew past him, and he stayed right there putzing along while the drivers around me were clearly doing the “OMG is that woman insane there is a COP RIGHT THERE” thing.

I parked at the school and then did the run/walk but don’t really run walky thing to the door thinking the entire time “calm down, she said bloody nose … but what nurse calls for a bloody nose???”

And there was my boy. Ice pack on face and blood everywhere.

He seemed OK. He was chatty as hell about his day. The nurse and teacher told me of the students finding him bleeding all over his sandwich at lunch, he didn’t say he hit his head. But there were clots and blood from both nostrils, from his mouth — it was so overwhelming.

Decisions were made and off we went to lay on the couch for the day. Thinking he had a bad bloody nose and wanting him to at least be cleaned up, it seemed sane to just bring him home.

Except a funny thing happened on the way to our house. Upon reliving his harrowing tale of bloody nose horror … my first grader’s speech began to slur.

Without even contemplating I put on my left blinker, darted across two lanes, and headed straight for the local ER. I kept talking to him. He kept drifting in and out of making sense. He was telling me now he did bump heads with someone. But his story kept changing. He was confused.

My heart racing, I drove the mile to our local hospital — it seemed like 20 — and my questions to the backseat were resulting in answers like “soffa hitta hwead.”

Left turn signal. Lane change. Park. Carry child into ER. Again the look in my eyes paid off and my quick explanation and fast signature had us back and in a bed in under five minutes. The doctor was there not two minutes later.

He's not slurring anymore & thinks cat scans rock. The bump? His stuffed turtle

Eyes OK. Nose OK. CAT scan shows no bleeding. No fracture. Diagnosis = concussion.

Now here’s where I finally exhale. Not entirely, mind you. But I exhale, and I look around. Now I am actually capable of looking around.

It turns out this place is filled with people and doctors and nurses and moaning and IVs and hustle and bustle. Things you don’t see until you exhale.

Two beds down I see two Sheriff’s deputies and someone obviously in custody. Across from us, a mother and two sons. Directly to our left I hear broken English and understand enough Spanish to know a dog bit a girl and she was crying telling her mother she shouldn’t have played with the puppy without asking their neighbor first.

Then came the woman with the clipboard. Like they always do. First to my son and me. I hand over our insurance information and card, explain that I am the primary card holder, not my husband (that annoys me every damn time), and she moves to the curtain next to us.

No tengo seguro médico.

Then the next.

Nah, this gangbanger doesn’t have insurance. I bet you he doesn’t even have a real job. Hahahahaha

Then the next.

Well, I think my ex-husband might still have the boys under his insurance but he lost his job, so I’m not sure. Can I just put down his name and number?

Then to the next.

Nah, I ain’t got no insurance. I lost that when I lost my benefits, and I’m still waiting on my VA paperwork. I ain’t got no VA paperwork yet but the lady down there said she’d get it to me soon.

There we sat in the “Fast Track” area of the typical American emergency room, and I was the only one with insurance coverage.

Not an hour or two before, I was actually enjoying and cheering and jeering the political theater in Washington. I sat at my desk from 7 a.m. until the phone call I got at lunch, engrossed in every word coming out of every politician’s mouth sitting at that summit.

How they would do it. How they want to do it. Which way they should do it. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who’s been wronged? All the talk of costs and deficits and government control. The talking and talking and talking that from one room in D.C. seemed entirely out of place in this California ER.

But at least for me, sitting in that ER, health care in America — and the battle over reform — was very clear. There were no questions. Criminals and children were being treated, and bills would come due. And there I was, on the edge of my son’s bed, the only one with insurance. THE ONLY ONE.

I missed the remainder of the health care summit to be with my son in that emergency room. I’m glad I missed whatever discussion was had. Because I was sitting there in the middle of the answer, in the middle of an ER, in the middle of a crisis that MUST be fixed.

As the only one WITH insurance today as those beds were strewn with dog bites and rashes and knife wounds and heart attacks, and yes, concussions … as the ONLY ONE with the privilege of having the means to have an insurance company pick up part of today’s bill — I said loudly and I said clearly for those in that room with me: Shut Up, Washington.

I am not any more privileged than the girl in the bed next to me or the family across from us or that alleged criminal two beds down. This isn’t a political game. This isn’t what I earned.

This is a right that any civilized society provides its people. ALL of its people, not just those with money and not just those lucky enough to have a job in this economy. ALL of its people.

The bill is due, Blair House participants. Either you can pay in political gains and losses or we can pay in our lives, our homes, and our dignity. As the president said today before I ran out of my house in a panic, “I hope we have the courage to make some of these changes,” and then he called out everyone in that summit for not having the guts to do it.

It’s gut-check time.

Get it done. And get it done now.

Actual Progressive Summit Coverage Can Be Found:

Momocrats.com

Odd Time Signatures

The Mahablog

Think Progress

AND FOR THE OTHER SIDE:

Althouse

Pajamas Media

Pundit & Pundette

Townhall

Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain Blog and is monitoring her son for the next 24-hours and hopes to NOT land back in that ER anytime soon.

Politics & News Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest

Haiti Love

Jack's Haiti Love
Xoxo,

Jack
6-years old

Ways you can help in Haiti:

Red Cross
Global Giving
UNICEF
YELE

Terrorism and 1st Graders

Ugh. This parenting thing really sucks sometimes.

I was in the living room today watching the President talk about the attempted Christmas Day terrorist attack. My 6-year old son was playing Legos and my 4-year old daughter Webkinz. Neither seemed to be paying much attention.

I should have known better.

CNN flashed images of terrorists training in some far off land, and my son said “Who are those guys? What are they doing?”

And instead of my usual parental evasion that I love so much, I just said it…flat out:

They are bad guys. They are training to hurt us. They are called terrorists.

Why are they bad? Why don’t they like us?

And a very touchy conversation took place in which I tried very hard to explain, in 6-year old terms, how Americans haven’t always been nice either, and that people spend years hating other people for things that could probably be solved with diplomacy. I explained that they didn’t like us very much. That they wanted to hurt us.

My darling little boy then asked me if the terrorist could come here. I could tell he was scared.

I wanted to say no. I wanted so badly to say no.

Honey they do try to come here a lot. But that’s why we have soldiers and police and the Army and Navy and Air Force and Marines and they all protect us.

His eyes were huge. And I wanted to lie to him.

Well Mom, if they came here I’d hide in our ottoman with the toys. And I know some karate.

Sigh. My 6-year old, thinking about how to evade a terrorist. What kind of world is this?

You won’t have to hide, sweetie. We have lots of people to protect us. Plus, our President is working on making it so that we all don’t hate each other anymore. And no one will want to hurt anyone.

Softening a bit, he came and sat next to me on the couch.

Mom, the next time you go see Barack Obama at that place…can you tell him to talk to them right away. Like, maybe, before I go back to school from my vacation?

I blinked a few times, put my arm around him…

I’ll try honey. I’m sure he’s very busy though. But I will try…

And with that he was off the couch and practicing his Tae Kwon Do moves on his sister’s new dinosaur.

I wanted to start the conversation over. I wanted to make sure I explained to him that war wasn’t the answer and that these terrorists had families of their own…probably a little boy and a girl, just like his family.

Instead I sat there dumbfounded, and worried and unsure how to explain to him culture clashes and wars that were as old as time. And hoping I didn’t say anything to ingrain in him the idea that Americans were entitled to everything and always right, and that he was superior to anyone- but also making sure he understood killing innocent people was never acceptable. And that we will always defend ourselves against attacks.

All I saw was him punching and kicking the dinosaur. And I wanted to cry.

I think I failed.

Happy Holidays…guess what MOM wants for Christmas?

and then he sang to me

He heard a beautiful song at school, during quiet time. And he thought of it while driving through the desert to Las Vegas, and he thought of it again tonight while laying in bed.

Mom I have to sing it for you, you have to know what it sounds like.

Alright honey, go ahead.

Ok but don’t look at me when I sing it.

That’s fine sweetie, I won’t look.

Ok, look away now and I will sing.

So I turned my head and my son began to hum.

Every note was perfect. Like he had been reciting the song in his head for weeks, practicing for this moment. There were no words, but his instrumental didn’t need any. Even his sister, fidgeting moments before, was entranced by the music coming from her brother.

I had to peak. I knew he would be furious and stop singing if he saw me look over, but I just had to see the look on his face while this gorgeous piece of music came out of his body.

Slowly I looked at my feet instead of the wall. Then back at the wall. Then back down at my feet. I glanced once more up and down and quickly flashed my eyes in his direction.

It didn’t matter that I had looked. His eyes were sealed shut. Tight. He was concentrating on the song, his song, and clearly lost in it’s sound.

I looked up again and just stared at him, dumbfounded. Eyes sealed shut and fingers moving in the air like he was conducting an orchestra, my son sang to me.

So that’s how it goes. Do you know that song, Mom?

No honey, I don’t think I do. But it was wonderful.

I really like it Mom, I think it might be the most beautiful song in the world.

I would have to agree my love. I would have to agree.

Watercolors

Watercolors by my 6-year old

Sometimes it’s not the change that throws you for a loop, it’s that you didn’t see it coming in the first place.

I can count the number of times in my life change has blindsided me. When a moment like that occurs, you are never the same and the world around shifts to find a new place.

What was black is white. What was up is down. And so on. And so on.

Most of these moments have for me been in relationships. Maybe because I have terrible intuition or because I don’t pay as close of attention as I should. Maybe because in a relationship, you can’t control the other person.

Maybe just because.

This morning my son’s teacher explained to my husband and I that our 6-year old really enjoys painting.

A rather mundane comment, right? A kid that likes to paint. Big deal.

But it was a big deal to me. Not only had I never seen my son take any interest what so ever in painting, coloring, drawing, even chalk, but whenever I asked him to do any of these tasks he would instinctively shrink away.

As it turns out, he spent a great deal of time on that painting above worrying over colors and fretting over blending. He was upset you can’t see the clouds he made. He was upset he couldn’t make the green MORE green. And he focused his attention on painting this childhood masterpiece so he could take it home to his mom.

And suddenly. Just like that. It all made sense.

This is the boy who, yes, builds robots and takes apart my DVD player and leaves strewn screws and nails all over my floor. But he’s also the boy who turned to me while we were flying across the country to show me how beautiful it was when the sunlight hit the clouds.

This is the boy that told me of how he nearly cried at school yesterday, because the music his teacher was playing was so sad and lovely.

This is the boy that holds my face and says ‘I just want to look at you, because there you are.’

And this is the boy that will now sit, focus, and paint because he has the soul of an artist. A soul I recognize in his father and only slightly in myself. But it’s there indeed, and it blindsided me.

Black is now white. Up is now down. And the world is in a new place.

6-year old Gets Some. Mom Mortified. News at 11

My 6-year old got his first piece of ass today.

Jack's first Gar burger

Yes, my baby boy thought it was appropriate to swim underwater right on over to Megan and pinch her butt.

That’s right, an adult he’s never met. A guest in my home. And my son thinks its just fine to grab her ass.

I blame his father.

Alright not really, but I do blame the casual …ummm…atmosphere at our home. My son thought it was totally fine to pinch Megan’s ass because he’s pinched mine. And his Dad has pinched mine. And when we’re swimming in the pool they are the ‘sharks’ and they come get Mom. They get me by going underwater and pinching my butt. I squeal, they laugh…and life goes on.

Never in my wildest dreams did it occur to me my little guy would think this was fine to do this to other people.

Imagine, if you will, being a guest in my home and swimming in my pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you feel a pinch on your ass and turn to find a 1st grader underwater by your butt.

Of course I’d like to say, as the Mom, I handled the situation well. But as it turns out just moments before said pinching, I had been stung by a bee and was far from able to give the situation the attention it deserved.

Megan was a gracious guest and laughed it off…but what else could she do? My son had just got himself some and giggled  about it. What sort of hedonistic home had she brought herself and her children to?

Mine.

Parenting fail.

But now he can say he’s grabbed Megan’s butt.

Raising a Geek Boy

My little geek in training

Sometimes I worry that my husband and I are a bit too geeky, and that’s leading to uberGeeky kids. Why worry, you ask? Because I know how this world operates. And how it treats the boy who prefers watching the Hawking Paradox over Monday Night Football.

How it treats the boy uninterested in signing up for t-ball but can’t wait for invention camp.

How it sees the sensitive male hell-bent on saving a tiny caterpillar over squishing it into the ground.

But I’m proud. I love the people my children are turning into. I just wish I could stop the worry.