Girly Geek Guilt

I’ve been in denial for a bit, but ok…fine: I’m a geek.

A total GEEK.

The blogging, the second life, the betas, the twitter.

It’s really NOT the core of who I am it is simply the tools I use to mouth off. So really, I’m just loud and using tech to be LOUDER.

By default that means I see and hear a lot of crap about that whole ‘girls don’t like science and tech’ bullshit that flies around our lives. I’ve seen the many, many, many examples of the very FEW number of women speaking at tech conferences. I’ve heard the arguments that we’re ignored and I’ve heard the arguments that we don’t pitch ourselves like the boys do.

I’ve found myself on BOTH sides of this debate wondering if it was maybe a little of both, a conspiracy by the patriarchy, and a lack of interest by women.

Nothing prepared me for reality.

Photos from the birthday party for my 5-year old and 3-year old this weekend.

Behold as this feminist geek gets to the bottom of what is really going on:


Galileo vs. Paris Hilton

I think that’s what the boys call-Epic Fail

It is not that I fault the gifts. They are exactly what my children wanted. It was that I realized how their preferences were splitting directly down those stereotyped gender lines.

It made me angry.

So let us all just put an end to what is going on in our tech/social media/web world when it comes to gender: It is all my fault.

Taking my pink laptop and going to bed.

Happy? Birthday

Today my first born son turned 5.

We did the cake. We did the presents. We did the hoopla.

He was beaming all day and I was making a huge deal out of his ability to have accomplished 5 years of living.

Inside I was dying.

I spent the day in fear. I spent the day in denial. I put on a happy face but inside I was in PAIN by his big boy bike. His wanting to shut the door when he went to the bathroom. His growing up.

I don’t care what my job is supposed to be and I don’t care what sort of label you want to throw at me-THIS SUCKS.

It hurts. I’m not a fan. And I’d like it to stop.

The entire time I was encouraging him to sit on the new bike and test it out, and he was protesting that it looked too big and was too wobbly, I was thinking ‘it’s ok baby boy, don’t be afraid, Mom is here, don’t do it if you don’t want too, just come sit on my lap and lay your head on my shoulder and cuddle with me.’

I suck.

I stood there thinking to myself ‘god if you can’t handle the wobbly big kid bike I can’t possibly let you out there into the world and let you see how horrible things are, how your heart will be broken, how people will be mean, how sometimes your stomach will be in knots, how life can be very shitty…’

I was sick. SICK.

My children make me feel very weak. The kind of weak that could turn me into some insane helicopter mom who homeschools and layers the walls with foam. The kind of weak that makes me throw every ounce of common sense out the window in favor of whatever will keep my children in ignorant bliss for eternity.

It hurts too much. IT HURTS TOO MUCH.

Of course I gently coaxed him on that bike and eventually he was riding around the culs-de-sac and life was just happy happy but I couldn’t shake the amount of fear that came with this birthday.

Real school is around the corner. Big kids who bully. Teachers who may or may not find his quirks endearing. Expectations. Disappointments. Triumphs.

I ache for every moment yet to come that causes him to pause. I yearn for every moment passed that seems now to have been so much easier. I want nothing more than to stop time and pretend as though none of this is happening.

I feel like a failure of a mother for entertaining these thoughts and trying to will them into reality. Like if I blink hard enough I can poof us all back to when my biggest fear was him hitting his head while learning to walk.

I’m not good at this. I’m just not. I spend most of my day trying to keep them busy so I can ignore them and the other half complaining as I deal with them. Then I have the gall the be upset at the passing of time and the reality of children becoming adults. These small creatures bring out every weakness I have and throw it on the table for all to see, dripping in emotion and exposing what is best, but mostly what is the worst, inside my soul.

Tonight I watched my 5-year old glow as he blew out 5 candles. I watched his little sister, eyes as big as saucers, ready and willing to take her turn at the cake in 6 days when she turns 3. As I discretely exhaled harder to aid the extinguishing of the flames I wished right along with my baby boy.

Keep him safe. Make this hurt less. Make me strong.

Happy Birthday.

Events Insist, says an exhausted Queen of Spain*

If you have a week in which your children get 103 degree fevers, you need to shop and pack for a trip, your new computer is shipped via slow boat to China, a Governor gets busted for whores, another female role model says something entirely offensive, you are molested by the Geico Caveman, you need to document every cow in Texas for your Bovine-loving son, watch stage dives, bowl with geeks, witness a minor shitstorm, stay up way past bedtime, return home to find rashes and snot, administer breathing treatments, attempt to read 2000 emails, set up a new computer, AND do the laundry…you might babble a bit too. Oh, and somewhere in there Mississippi voted and Guy Kawasaki tried to get me to like the idea of Hooters girls next door to BlogHer Con serving drinks to BlogHim Con goers.

I’m even too tired to linkbait all that up there. Maybe later.

Did I mention I also had to finish the dreaded Kindergarten Registration Packet of DOOM? Packet of doom, I say.

Which is all a very long winded way of introducing a video in which I get even more long winded about going to SXSW.

*titled for Micah, SEO Nutjob

Roseanne Barr Can Suck It

Because I like to drop large bombs before I skip town, please enjoy this piece here, at MOMocrats, and at Huffington Post as I board a flight to SXSW in Austin, Texas.

In the grand tradition of having it out with my fellow Huffington Post contributors, I figured it was time I opened my mouth at the latest post by Roseanne Barr.

You see, I’ve actually been biting my tongue on her writing thus far. Her posts have been circulated amongst colleagues and friends with subject lines like “WTF?” and “Roseanne can suck it.

Since I am very pro ‘discussion’ and ‘let’s write about it and talk’ I figured it was only fair I took on the idea of ‘Bow to the Woman‘ here in a public forum where we can all get in on the act.

I get to go first, k?

Hi Rosanne,

I’m Erin.

Like you, I love me some mouthy women. Your gal the Senator, she’s got you snowed. It’s ok, she had me under her spell for a long time too. But understand, she’s not a mouthy woman like you and I are mouthy women. Nope. She’s a power hungry elitist happy to spoon feed you what you want to hear to get your vote. Pure-bred politician. Could that be a plus? Sure. She’s on our side, right? But like many in this country I’m not really into politics as usual anymore. I’ve had it. I’m done. I don’t want the woman who can play the game with the boys, I want the woman who refuses to play the game and blazes her own path.

Senator Clinton is not blazing her own path, she’s doing what all the good old boys have done before her.

Can I just say ‘meh.’

Now onto this business of ‘Bow to the Woman’ and what not. When I first read your post I assumed it was satire. It HAS TO BE SATIRE. Because Roseanne Barr would never write something as offensive as suggesting a black man bow to a white woman…right? She certainly wouldn’t be one of Clinton’s loudest and biggest supporters saying things like, “You can’t fight back dirtier than she can…”

You can’t really be suggesting that right now, as Samantha Power sits jobless…right?

In the event your are, in fact, serious I’d like to introduce you to a few people. Meet my friends.

Let’s start with CityMama and fellow MOMocrat Stefania Pomponi Butler,

“Dear Roseanne Barr,

Forgive me for not being convinced by your argument. I have a hard time taking anyone who picked Tom Arnold for a husband seriously. “Bow to the woman?” This isn’t some sado-masochistic bedroom fantasy we’re playing out here. This is the race for the presidency. It’s not about bowing to a woman, it’s about who is most qualified to lead our country. Who inspires people young and old to get out and vote in record numbers. Who inspires record-breaking donations and moving musical tributes. $55 million raised in February alone. You betchyerass none of those donors want Obama to “bow to the woman.” I am one of those donors and I as long as I haven’t reached my $2300 limit, Barack Obama ain’t going anywhere.

Let our country heal? Please. The person who should be blamed for not letting our country heal is Polarizing (not “Premiere”) Hillary Clinton. She does not represent “the soul of the Democratic party.” Not by a long shot. She represents status quo and entrenched corporate interests. Yes, she is a woman, but she doesn’t represent me. I resent your implication that women are sitting around in their playgroups and coffee klatsches shaking their heads and tsk-tsking over the fact that Barack Obama won’t bow to the woman.

As long as we’re talking voting records, I’d like to know why Hillary hasn’t apologized for her vote for the Iraq War. And as long as we’re talking about bowing down, I’d also like to know why she bowed to George W. Bush’s will and voted for a resolution declaring the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization. Boy, that Soul of the Democratic party sure likes war! When comparing voting records, I’d like to start there.

Somewhere, in a hotel room or on a plane, Clinton advisors are huddled together wondering how they can get Roseanne Barr to STFU. Lead us, Roseanne. Show us how cooperation works: stop painting all women with the same, tired “support Hillary or else” brush. Believe it or not there are women in this country who are capable of voting for the best-qualified candidate, regardless of genitalia. And some of us will have proudly voted for two men (in my case John Edwards and Barack Obama) by the time this race is finished.”

I’d also like you to meet White Trash Mom, Michelle,

“As a card carrying White Trash Mom, it pains me to disagree with you, Roseanne. You put WT Motherhood on the map.

You have a right to your opinion because this is America. But you presume too much by saying that Obama should give up because it’s a losing battle. Or because he can’t fight as dirty as Hillary Clinton. Your ” bow to the woman” is so focused on gender and negativity that it takes away from the remarkable progress that is being made this election year.

This year, a black man and a woman are the front runners because they are the best candidates…the best PEOPLE for the job. We are finally evolving as a country, moving forward to a place where character matters more than gender or race. Since your post mentioned Dr. King, I thought I would too:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Why not let America decide which candidate has the content of character to be President.

P.S. John McCain, far from being a Nazi, is a former prisoner of war and most liberals LOVE him.

Michael Kinsley’s recent TIME column, “Why Liberals Love McCain”.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1713490,00.html”

Just to mix it up a bit, here is Canadian Meg Fowler,

“I’m a Canadian — I can’t vote in the US election. And if you stop reading there, I don’t blame you.However, only the most geographically naive among us could miss that your country, Dear Americans, is right below mine. So what happens to you — politically, economically, culturally — definitely has an impact on what goes on up here. Sometimes more, sometimes less. In fact, a recent poll found that 15% of Canadians would give up their right to vote in Canadian elections to vote in the United States.

I’m one of them.

I believe that the choices you make in this upcoming election will have a profound impact on both the health and wellbeing of your own nation AND the world around you — including my own country. Full disclosure: I’m for Obama. Why? I believe he has the platform, vision, temperament, wisdom and leadership to bring your country to a far better place than the position you’re in now. I also believe Hilary could provide leadership — with a similar platform, to boot — but her ethical stances, the tenor of her campaign, and her divisive mentality don’t win me over at all.

That’s why I was so startled to read Rosanne Barr’s words on the Huffington Post about how she could bring ‘healing’ to the United States, and how Obama needs to ‘be a man’ and ‘take vice.’ There was so much irony undergirding her words that I actually thought the piece might be a joke. ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can’? ‘Your shrill attacks are alienating her voters’? ‘Live the dream of Dr. King’?

No, Roseanne. He WON’T fight back ‘dirty’ in her manner, because that’s a BAD thing. No, HER attacks are alienating her voters. Everything from your statements about demographics to your understanding of the political process was flawed, false, inflammatory… and increasingly in character with your hero’s campaign.

Any true feminist or believer in racial equality will tell you that the dream is to leave gender and race OUT of the vote, not to divide the party up along those lines, or to call people to act according to the colour of their skin or the parts in their panties. You are contributing to the problem, not the solution.. I support your right to support Hillary, but I hope you can come to do it on the basis of the issues and integrity.

Otherwise, you’d do well to join up with the Republicans… I hear they enjoy a good round of bad rhetoric when they’re not busy starting wars.”

How about a man’s perspective? Meet my friend Jeffrey,

“is it too much to ask Roseanne to make some of
these statements publicly (preferably while standing right next to
Clinton)? That should pretty much wrap up the nomination for
Obama. :-)”

Oh, get comfy Roseanne, I have more.

This is my friend Sue of RedStapler,

“After reading Roseanne’s opinion piece on Huffington Post, I have to assume one of two things is true. She is either

1) Stupid or
2) Evil.

Either she is so stupid that she did not realize that telling a black man to ‘bow down’ would be seen as racist and offensive, or she is so evil that she knows and does not care.”

Ammie from SleepingMommy wants to say ‘hi’ too,

“I just read Barr’s post at Huffington. Which one of Roseanne’s personalities wrote that thing anyway? What I want to know is where she gets that Clinton represents the heart of the Democratic party? I’ve spoken with too many Democrats (and Republicans and Independents) that have said they are terrified of what a Hillary Clinton presidency would do to this nation.

Not only will she divide this country because of the extreme vitriol the Republicans have directed against any and all things Clinton. (Oh how I remember the witch hunts perpetrated by the right against Bill. How will it be any different with Hillary, who served as just one of many reasons for the hatred against Bill during his term in office.) She will divide this country because people hate her. They hate her because of who her husband is, they hate her because of her overweening ambition, they hate her because she is disingenuous, they hate her because she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Ambition is good, when it is checked by reason. There doesn’t seem to be anything keeping her ambition in check, it’s driven by power hunger. And that is scary. I think that Larry David had it right in his post about the Red phone commercial.

Erin, I keep stewing on this. Couple of more things.

Barr said ‘Many of Clinton’s backers are turned off due to the shrillness of the attacks your campaign has let loose on your opponent.’

What? Shrill? With the exception of the staffer who resigned over calling Clinton a monster I can’t remember ANY shrill attacks.

Barr also says: ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can — it will bury your message of hope and change. It obscures the message of the people in this party!’

WHAT? HE can’t fight DIRTIER THAN SHE CAN? So. It’s okay for Clinton to fight dirty and it doesn’t obscure the message of the people in this party? And excuse me, but I think that the fact that he DOES NOT fight dirty and keeps the tone of his message positive is exactly what this party needs. It’s what makes him look good and Clinton look shrill.

One other thing: what the hell with the ‘Bow to the woman’ ?!?! Really? That’s the message supporters of Clinton want to put out there? It is exactly what will continue to turn people away from her. Militant feminazis are what give feminism and women’s equal rights a bad name.

That is all. Sorry just had to get that off my chest. I’m finished for reals now. I promise. :)”

One more, then I swear I’m done…meet Maria from PopConsumer,

“I’m done holding on to the idea that Hillary Clinton is someone I could vote for, that her election as president would represent positive change for women and that her campaign will do anything less that substantially weaken, if not destroy, the Democratic party. If this is what Clinton’s campaign for president represents then she does not speak for me, she is not winning for me (remember she said her win in Ohio was for everyone who keeps trying, not just those who voted for her) and I want no part of her campaign.”

So there you have it, Ms. Barr.

I could go on and on about your inaccuracies (insinuating Obama does not support energy independence, insinuating it was him that used the ‘monster’ term) but instead I’m going to just pretend this was ha ha funny satire.

You can’t possibly be that militant in gender issues that you’d overlook serious flaws in order to get a woman in the White House. You can’t possibly want to be that shocking to make a name for yourself and promote all that is Roseanne by entering the Election ’08 discussion.

I mean, PR for Roseanne’s brand of entertainment can’t possibly come at the expense of soldiers, uninsured Americans, or voters…could it???

I’m a MOMocrat

So I used my first post over there to ask them where in the hell their candidate disappeared to…

Crossposted over at MOMocrats

As many of you know, this site was founded to support John Edwards bid for President of the United States.

I watched from afar as the rock star MOMocrats lauded and defended their choice with wisdom, facts, and snark. They stuck to their guns and went down with the ship and now continue to voice their intelligent observations as this race drags on (and on and on and on).

I accosted Stefania late the other night as we watched the numbers come in from Ohio and Texas and flippantly added “…and I totally want to be a MOMocrat….I’m way too mouthy though. Elizabeth Edwards would scold me.”

Our CityMama laughed, and before I knew it I had a log-in to this kickass site. So I want to start by saying THANK YOU for allowing me yet another platform to rant the only way I know how.

With that said, and before you take my posting privileges away:

WHERE IN THE HELL IS JOHN EDWARDS???

I’m of the mindset that dragging the democratic nomination process out is one of the worst ideas in the history of man. Or woman. Or MOM. Whatever.

Anyway I firmly believe this is getting much uglier before it gets better and we are NOT going to all come together and hold hands and sing Kumbaya in Denver in August.

I’d like to see John Edwards endorse. And endorse NOW.

I realize he wants to be Vice President. I mean, he must. Why the hell else would he NOT say anything yet? Common sense would tell us if he goes out on a limb and endorses Clinton and Obama wins, he’s out of a job. If he endorses Obama and Clinton wins he’s out of a job and possibly sent to the American version of Siberia (what would that be exactly? Michigan’s Upper Peninsula?) for crossing the all powerful Clinton clan.

Having drank some of the MOMocrat Kool Aid and having been throughly impressed with Elizabeth Edwards at BlogHer ’07 in Chicago, I have to believe John Edwards has a spine. He surely would endorse the candidate he found most worthy of the job, not the one he thought could make or break his next position.

Naive Erin, I know. I get that a lot.

So now that we’re in a Thunderdome DeathMatch for the Nomination, where are the big name endorsements and why are they keeping their mouths shut? You mean to tell me an Edwards or Gore endorsement wouldn’t sway a few hundred thousand voters? You mean to tell me Edwards is really THAT torn over who he should throw his weight behind? I mean *I* was torn a few weeks ago, but this wagon train sure as hell has changed course over the past few weeks. I think most of us fence-sitters have picked a side by now.

With all due respect Mr. Edwards, It’s 3am. The country needs you to help end this insanity.

Please publicly endorse your choice for President. Nudge Al Gore and some others while you’re at it. Do what you can so we, the voters, don’t have to watch this party implode over the next 7 weeks and fail to unify in time to regain the White House.

The rhetoric is getting nastier. Lines are being drawn in the sand. I went from being TORN on who to vote for on Super Tuesday and happy with Clinton OR Obama-to literally wanting to fly to Ohio to be able to scream obscenities at Senator Clinton for her negative campaigning.

I am your party’s base, and I am disgusted and getting very, very, very worried we’re going to blow this whole thing.

I know I am not alone.

Do us all a favor and pick a side. Get your supporters behind the side, work a deal where you get a bunch of other big names to join you, and rip off this band aid FAST.

Please.

I’m off to drink more MOMocrat Kool-Aid. They make the best, you know. I hope to mix my own batch here often, anyone want a glass?

Enjoy while I pack and take temperatures

My daughter is sick and I’m getting ready for SXSW, so today I give you fun links to enjoy:

First and foremost, my favorite educator via boob tube, PBS, has THE thing that will keep your preschooler busy while you blog, or watch election returns.

PBS Kids PLAY has had my 5yr old and 3yr old engrossed for a few weeks now. Yes, it’s a download. Yes, it’s in beta. But if you want them to LEARN not just play Vegas style games and buy new lamps for their stuffed Pony, DOWNLOAD NOW. You can set time limits, those wacky PBS characters make them take stretch breaks. We love it and it’s guilt free.

Speaking of Vegas Style games and new lamps for stuffed ponies…CRAZY GeekMommy, understanding my plight as a Mom who desperately wanted her own WebKinz, sent me QT Vest, the Terrier.

The kids promptly stole her

Oh but wait-it doesn’t end there. Another crazed mamma , who’s daughter my son is destined to woo and marry (yes, I said woo) is sending another Webkinz which I SWORE on my new PINK DELL notebook would be only for Mommy, not the kids. And DUH, of course she sent a poodle.

I’m proud to announce I’ve joined MOMocrats. Look for much more of my ranting soon.

I just noticed Sarah and I both were thinking of Better Off Dead recently. What happened to the chick in that movie? Anyone? Fraaunch bread…Frauunch fries…and of course…he put his testicles all over me…his what? his testicles!

I’ve finished the Other Boleyn Girl and do NOT want to see the movie. No one can be as hot as King Henry from the Tudors and there is no way Natalie Portman has the swagger to pull off Anne Boleyn. Even at her SNL thug best. I just can’t see it. I’m trying, I just can’t.

Baby girl isĀ  awake and back at 102.1 degrees. Go click away.

Because Charles Barkley is Always Right

I love Sir Charles. And I don’t mean I love him like I love my kids or I love him like I love red gummy Swedish fish. I mean…I LOVE CHARLES BARKLEY!

Yeah, it’s a scream-it-from-the-rooftops kind of love.

Back when I was young and spry (because I’m convinced I am now old and flabby- no really-you should see the stretch marks) I played basketball and adored Chuck. Between Rick Mahorn and Charles Barkley I really needed no other men in my life.

In fact, one of the greatest lessons I ever learned just might have been from Sir Charles.

In 1993, back when I was graduating High School and idolizing a then First Lady Rodham Clinton, Charles Barkley declared sports figures should not be considered role models. There was more, and there was a lot of discussion about turning celebrities or public figures into icons.

I made a mental note, and went about my life.

It’s now 2008 and I can unabashedly say Barkley was right about the role model thing. He’s been right about a few other things since then, but I am now CERTAIN that public figures as role models are a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD idea.

Where in the hell is Erin going with this…

I am now completely and totally disappointed, to the point of heartbreak, in Senator Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinem.

Disgusted, actually.

Two women who I spent many of my young years idolizing and championing have turned into establishment game-playing, fear mongering, surrogate talking-point spouting hacks.

They are so far into the system they can’t even see the rest of us, die hard feminist fans, out here gaping at them.

Mouth wide open when we watch this:


Mouth wide open when we read this.Gaping.Wondering where the women I knew have gone. Wondering if they will find their “voice” or their conscience. Wondering if they even realize what is happening to them. Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones I’m looking at you too.

However, in the end it is my fault. I held them up. I obviously turned them into something they are not, all those years.

Lesson learned.

Thanks Chuck.

***updated** apparently Clinton is now running FAKE NEWS to trick voters.


Just Call Me Erin Elizabeth Hussein Kotecki Vest

…because we are bitches and Bill Cunningham is 7-years old…



*hat tip Baratunde, my imaginary boyfriend