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The State of My Union

January 25, 2011 By 7 Comments

As I am sure you have noticed, I’ve stayed away from blogging my usual political rhetoric as I battle Lupus. I’ve done this for a few reasons, not the least of which is I get very passionate about politics and it gets me worked up. It’s hard to rest and recover when you are screaming at your television screen.

But I’ve realize something as I’ve sat on the sidelines, that I have known all along…
…politics is personal, and there is no escaping it.

Tonight the President will give his State of the Union address, and I am jumping back into my punditry and commentary. Not because I want my Lupus to flare worse, and not because I feel compelled to give you my take on whatever tonight’s hot button issue will become…but because I have realized nearly everything hitting the news cycle directly affects my life.

Health care reform. Violent political rhetoric. These are issues literally banging down my front door. Jobs, benefits, and the President’s new priority: education. These are issues I am dealing with every single day as an American citizen, mother, patient, blogger, and victim.

People can talk all they want about it just being ‘DC’ or it just being all hot air and men in suits…but when those suits decide the fate of things like ‘pre-existing conditions,’ ‘mortgage overhaul,’ charter school status, and motivate mentally disturbed people to shoot a Congresswoman and threaten my family…well, the term ‘just politics’ no longer seems to apply.

It’s personal. It always has been. And it always will be.

You can follow my State of the Union commentary tonight on BlogHer Chatter and Twitter.

Filed Under: #SUCKITLupus, BlogHer, Feeling YaYa, Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

An Open Letter To MommyBloggers

June 28, 2008 By 81 Comments

Back in 2006, as the PR companies started circling and the world was just starting to catch on to this ‘Mommyblogging’ phenomenon, I very clumsily attempted to tell Heather Armstrong the A-listers were hurting my feelings.

Of course this was at BlogHer con, and I was tipsy, so it came out very awkward and bitchy. I had heard grumblings of the cool kids’ club. I had heard complaints that all these new Mombloggers were just copycats. I wanted to know if the community I shoved myself into was, in fact, real and supportive.

Heather was, of course, gracious and understanding. She didn’t feel that way at all, she loves this community, and so on and so forth.

I felt better.

Flash forward to 2008 and BlogHer con just around the corner. I’m watching some high profile names make some pretty hefty accusations and some new and eager bloggers scratch their heads, fight back, and even second guess this amazing community.

The good thing about us bloggers, is we talk. We comment, we discuss, we post. Communicate. Sometimes we over-communicate…but at least it’s out there.

With the rise of Mommyblogging has come growing pains, competition, traffic, ad money, the works. It’s exciting and it’s frustrating. There are no longer thousands of us, there are millions and we have influence and reach.

What we can not stand to lose, is the community.

It is what makes us. It is what drives us. It is the entire reason we are who we are. There will always be flamewars and snarking and back channel chatter about who did what to whom. Human nature. But what is new is the megaphone’s power.

I learned this the hard way. I am one of the megaphone’s biggest abusers.

Like it or not, you are now widely read and widely heard. Like it or not, it comes with responsibility. Trust me, I’m the last person to like the responsibility part of it all.

Not too long ago a few entrepreneurs I know bickered over some ventures. One thought the other was copying, the other thought he was making it his own. The analogy that came up: it was like McDonalds getting mad Burger King had come to town and set up shop across the street.

I think that is a fair analogy here. McDonalds is mad Burger King is making hamburgers. However, as we all know, no one has the monopoly on hamburgers.

No one has a monopoly on snarky parentblogging either. Or the name ‘Queen’ or even who gets to be loudest at any given moment. I may protect my ‘business’ but I certainly can’t hate that someone wants to be the Pepsi to my Coke.

What we DO have a monopoly on is community. We own this one, outright. All of us. Not one of us is more of a rockstar than the other, and we all take inspiration from each other. MORE importantly, we all RELY on each other. We all know why we are involved in this blogging/twitter/fill-in-the-blank-social-media-service-here: it’s the support, the advice, the friendship.

As I have watched other communities get into pissing matches, it strikes me how much we may be traveling down that road.

Fame and fortune bring trainwrecks I guess. I’d like to see us remain the ‘closest knit community online.’

Because in case you hadn’t noticed, the world is watching.

Filed Under: BlogHer, Feeling YaYa, Holding Court, TweetQueen Tagged With: , ,

Twitter Wake

June 25, 2008 By 39 Comments

I feel like I am kneeling at the deathbed of a loved one and whispering.

You were always so good to me

I love you

I’m sorry

Thanks for introducing me to all the jerks in Silicon Valley

Thanks for all the late nights fighting about politics

Thanks for being you

While I am hoping for a miracle cure, I am afraid they will soon send me the papers to have the plug pulled.

I’ve been using Friend Feed and Summize much more. I’ve been traveling to just SEE these people I know and love.

I don’t want to be calling everyone after your death and have them all be upset they didn’t get a chance to say good bye, or share their favorite memories. So I hope all my @friends leave their fond and fuzzy and funny Twitter moments here.

And really, if you do pull through- we’ll have a big party. A HUGE PARTY where we burn the Fail Whale and DM until dawn.

xoxoxoxoxo

@queenofspain

Filed Under: TweetQueen

Save the Skeet!*

May 15, 2008 By 11 Comments

I got a Wii for Mother’s Day. Not a spa day. Not flowers. I DID get chocolate.

Chocolate and a Wii.

Exactly what I wanted.

While we have been playing tennis and driving Mario around goofy worlds and generally having a blast as a family, one game stopped me in my tracks.

Skeet Shooting.

Stupid. I know.

I played duck hunt as a kid. I remember the “X”s over the dead duck’s eyes. I think there was a dog. He was cute.

But I have issues with my kids shooting and playing with guns for ‘fun.’

It’s one of the things my husband and I really don’t agree on. Well, we agree to a degree, but not entirely. He’s fine with  skeet shooting. Didn’t even blink when I said ‘should we let the 5-year old skeet shoot on Wii?’

Thoughts in my head included -is it only skeet? Will he then want to shoot everything? Do I have to talk (again) about shooting and guns and safety and danger…because I am tired and I really don’t know if I have the energy RIGHT NOW to do this simply because I’m letting him play on the Wii.

Let it be know, so you are not confused and can yell at my hippie, liberal, California ass properly : I hate guns.

I hate them.

I am not from a family that hunts. I am not from a family that had a gun at home. I am not a fan.

I have had a gun held to my head.

I. Hate. Guns.

However (and this is a big however) my husband is from a family that hunts. He has attempted to convince me that shooting out back with Grandpa is an entirely acceptable past-time when we take the kids to visit the in-laws.

As you can imagine, this makes me not want to take the kids to visit the in-laws. Ever.

Of course I am not insane (mostly) and will compromise on some basic things. I’ve grilled my father-in-law as to the location and security of every gun he owns or every gun that is anywhere within 1 mile of my children.

I’ve conceded that I can see the benefit of teaching the children (I say that on purpose, because only my son is ever discussed when ‘shooting’ comes up and I think both kids need to be included) gun safety.

I have agreed that when it is age appropriate that whole ‘grandpa can teach you about guns’ thing can occur.

Then I mutter under my breath about how wrong it all seems to give a kid a gun, even if I agree education is necessary.

I’ve never allowed toy guns at home. NOT because I’m some crazy lunatic who thinks my kids will grow up violent having played with a toy gun-but because I know full well my kids will figure out guns and what they do in their own time. I am not going to speed up this process and encourage the ‘let’s run around and pretend to kill eachother’ game.

My son already turns sticks into guns. My son already talks about guns and shooting bad guys. He got there entirely on his own having never had a toy gun at home. Why would I have voluntarily given him one at 2 or 3-years old to encourage or speed up the process?

Which brings me back to the Wii.

In the end, we shot some skeet with our controllers. And my son took way too much pride in ‘accidentally’ nailing a duck.

However, he got very upset when his sister ‘accidentally’ shot a photo of his Mii (or avatar) smiling on one of the discs.

“Mom,” he said. “If that was real I would be dead. And I don’t want to be dead. Let’s play something else.”

Victory. Maybe.

*post title by Lee Stranahan, after we discussed the Wii Skeet issue on Twitter.com 

Filed Under: Count Waffles, Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

Sunday Inquisition with Queen of Spain LIVE

May 4, 2008 By 16 Comments

Starting at 7pm PDT and going…Gawd knows how long..We’re going to try Ustream tonight, since we keep crashing Stickam and YahooLive won’t let us moderate like we want…

You can join the fun here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/queenofspain

Tonight’s Guests include Tara Anderson (@tarable) of Lijit, Baratunde Thurston* (@baratunde) of Jack and Jill Politics and Good Crime Think, and Zik Daniel (@ZIK). Which means we’ll be talking widgets and badges and CRAP for the blogs-and why Lijit might be the only one you really need. Tara can also move us into the political discussion nicely as her MOM IS IN JAIL after a protest. Baratunde and Zik will no doubt get into the entire Rev. Wright FIASCO and don’t be surprised if we see a few guest appearances from some loudmouth tweets!

Since I’ve been hearing a lot of whining lately, tonight’s giveaways will center around your ability to beg and whine. Leave a comment and tell me why you need a Creative Live! IM Pro webcam to register to win, and explain to me why you can’t pick up the phone to order flowers to win a Mother’s Day bouquet from 1800-Flowers.

All other readers get a 15% discount from @mindofandre from 1800-Flowers-comes in handy with Mother’s Day next week!

As always, Lucretia Pruitt (@geekmommy) and Maria Niles (@marianiles) will be rocking things behind the scenes and chiming in-and we just *might* have a special intro with music by R. Corey Oltman (@kingtiger) and the ‘voice of god’ Doug Welch (@dewelch) to kick off Sunday Inquisition!

*Baratunde and I recently hijacked 50cent’s Netvibe’s chat room. We’re sorry in advance if you get shot for hanging out with us tonight.

****discount code for 1800flowers discounts are:


FLOWERS: 15% off any purchase OR MOM8 : $10 off a purchase of $49.99 or more

Filed Under: Queen of Spain LIVE, Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

Balance: I have none

April 21, 2008 By 12 Comments

There is nothing like sitting in the pediatrician’s office covered in vomit to knock you back into the real world.

In case you were confused, the ‘real’ world is the one where you make peanut butter and jelly for a sick 3-year old who insists her belly feels great and won’t upchuck Jiff on your couch.

Of course she pukes it and of course this comes after having thrown up all over the doctor’s office, the minivan, and the driveway.

Of course I am stupid for having let her eat the PB&J, but that’s not the point. The point is messy motherhood is a reality.

Messy, pukey, “I can get nothing done because kids have not been in school and I have laundry stacked everywhere and don’t ask me what is for dinner and no I haven’t finished all the thank you notes but hey did you see I BATHED one of two kids AND emptied the dishwasher” kind of reality.

I can’t do it all. I want to do it all. I TRY to do it all. However, I can’t do it all.

And with that in mind (snort) I’m going to be speaking at New Communications Forum in Sonoma Wednesday and Thursday. Because one session isn’t enough.

The only reason I will have clean clothes for this event is because my husband did the laundry. The only reason I’m ready for my sessions is because she helped with slides.

I’ll hook up the webcam a few times and pull over some guests for you to harass. Any suggestions?

…and did I mention I will be covering the PA primary from a hotel room. SIGH. I do see light at the end of the tunnel though, and it’s just down the way a bit…I think…I’m squinting…it’s there…really

Filed Under: Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

TechCrunch’s Arrington Blocks Mommyblogger

April 18, 2008 By 58 Comments

That would be me.

I’m not kidding.

Remember all the stuff I was saying about how the women in tech are ignored? They are never asked to speak at conferences, entirely overlooked, blah blah blah blah blah? I think I also touched on how the big bad tech boys who are so-called ‘in charge’ of this whole blogging/social media space are frat boys?

Uh. Yeah.

Meet one Mr. J. Michael Arrington. Note that his Wikipedia says “Magazines such as Wired and Forbes have named Arrington one of the most powerful people on the internet.”

Today Arrington (for those who still don’t know, he’s the TechCrunch guy) blocked me on Twitter.

Why?

For this :

@techcrunch ummm @mashable just scooped you. Just sayin’. Sorry, old school Journalist in me notices these things

I had been watching Techcrunch (aka Arrington) twitter for the past hour about the possibility CNN.com had been blocked in China. At last check, he said he had two confirmations and I was monitoring to see if it was true, and how it would be reported.

What do you want from me? This is what I did for a living-I LOVE breaking news.

Not long after a twitter from Arrington about having two confirmations CNN was blocked, Pete Cashmore of Mashable (a competitor) tweeted a link to the story they had posted on CNN.

Having watched the entire thing unfold -OF COURSE I showed Arrington he got scooped.

He responded with a tweet that has since disappeared and was here. So this non-techy Mommyblogger (who can’t possibly ever read TechCrunch) went and pulled it off of TweetScan:

“TechCrunch : @QueenofSpain haha. scooped us on the story we’ve been talking about here on twitter for hours? we’re not covering that. oh yeah. blocked. 2008-04-18 02:50:40 Reply”

My response (still in twitter, not randomly gone) was ” ROFL @techcrunch is cute with the blocking. Apparently censorship isn’t a big deal for them. kudos to @mashable for posting it”

Now on to the important part of all this…

The term ‘citizen journalist’ is yammered about a lot these days. Web sites like TechCrunch are discussing politics, they are reporting breaking business and technology news. They are influencing readers-a few million a month- (wow, not even as big as Dooce or BlogHer…just learned something tonight) and pushing themselves as an ‘all things tech news’ related site. They get cited for ‘breaking news’ and for ‘being the first’ yet when you actually call them out on having posted a story SECOND, they get pissy.

So it occurs to me that maybe Arrington, and some other web site owners, need to understand the very basic principals of Journalism, having very obviously skipped over it while en route to conquer the internet. Afterall, this so-called ‘citizen journalism’ is taking over the main stream media dinosaur. It is influencing news cycles and fueling on-air pundits. Therefore it seems to me these sites could use a few quick pointers on how to be responsible citizen journalists.

Mr. Arrington,

Hi, I’m Erin. We haven’t met. I get the feeling we may not meet now, but hey-I’m around if you want to chat. I also have a decent background not just in citizen journalism but in traditional journalism. Let me give you a quick J-school 101, so maybe next time you don’t get too uppity and block a Mommyblogger on twitter. K?

In traditional media it’s common place to be scooped or to scoop your competitor. In fact, its what the game is about. Eventually EVERYONE is running the story-what sets you apart is either the ‘exclusive’ (which I can explain in another blog post if you like) or being the FIRST. You will absolutely promote a story you post before anyone else (because man, sometimes getting confirmation is a bitch) and you will yell at your staff with a red face when someone else runs the story before you. Such is the life of a newsroom. And make no mistake, TechCrunch is a newsroom.

A couple other hints-if you are working on a story but it’s still not ready to publish, you might not want to discuss it on Twitter. Because later, after you’ve been scooped and you claim you were never going to post it anyway, we silly readers aren’t sure if we believe you or not. You’re either saving face, or all that past discussion on confirming if China was getting CNN.com seems confusing and misleading. Hell, I don’t know…maybe you just were super curious for your own knowledge about China and it’s censorship of foreign news media. I know I am, so you’re not alone. Either way, sure looks like you were working on a story.

Also, when the entire world watches you discuss China, and sees a competitor posts the story, and points it out to you-you might not want to just silence them on the spot like some communist regime.

Oh, the irony.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve blocked a guy on twitter-but he actually physically threatened me and called me some very nasty names. If you go around blocking everyone who criticizes your cute little website, you may end up with a legion of yes-men (yes-tweets?) and lose touch with what’s happening around you.

In fact, you might even lose touch so very much that you have a party with a beauty blog, having really done nothing with the actual majority of women occupying this whole social media, blog, web 2.0 thing you keep reporting on.

In short, Mr. Arrington, it may serve you well to take a few cues from old school media. They might be an aging dinosaur, but they at least know how to handle getting scooped.

If anyone needs anything else, I’ll be reading Mashable. Pete is much more handsome anyway, and since it’s clear on the web all that matters are looks, I might as well subscribe over there.

*updated with a twitPic of Arrington’s Friend Feed from @snobcrunch

Filed Under: Royal Pain, Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

I Curse Jason Calacanis With 10 Daughters

April 5, 2008 By 28 Comments

My husband nearly fainted when we found out our second child was going to be a girl.

Dead silence on the other end of the phone.

Weeks earlier my OBGYN thought he saw a penis and the look of relief on my husband’s face told the true story. Everything is going to be ok, it’s a boy.

Then a checkup a few weeks later showed vulva, no penis, and terror struck. TERROR.

His fears included, but were not limited too: will she get knocked up at 16? Will I have to kill all the boys that like her? Will she be ugly, pretty, smart, stupid? To this day he’s hoping our striking daughter needs glasses, braces, and is covered in hair.

He thinks if she’s hairy, the boys won’t bother her. He would also prefer she be gay.

Why? Easy, he’ll tell you that he is a man. He knows men. He knows how he was at 13, 16, 19, 25, 35 and he wants his daughter to have nothing to do with any of it. Period. End of story.

What my husband fails to realize is he married ME. With any luck my strong, vagina-having, self will make sure my daughter is prepared for the boys, the body-issues, the confusion between what matters more: her mind or her looks.

Which leads me to yesterday, and the can of penis worms opened by one Mr. Jason Calacanis, and his search for a replacement for Veronica Belmont, host of Mahalo Daily.

I logged into Twitter to see several people had mentioned my name to Jason as a possible replacement. Hmmm, I thought. Must investigate more. I’m not exactly a Calacanis fan after his ‘make me the #1 twitter-er’ bribe, but had been willing to listen to all those who said he’s actually a decent guy.

So I checked it out-Veronica looks like she’s done some fun stuff with the videos, totally not techy (that I can tell) but entertaining. A few minutes into my snooping and Gary Vaynerchuk twittered that Jason was live on Ustream taking suggestions for a new host. I clicked on over. I’m not really sure I can accurately describe what I found, so let me just copy and paste my twitter stream:

QueenofSpain They are going over these girls based on looks-seriously. I don’t want ANYTHING to do with that crap. It would be an Erin SMACKDOWN

QueenofSpain and I love how they all just ASSUME any of these women are just DYING to get a call to work for @jasoncalacanis

QueenofSpain Am I wrong? Am I the only one who is watching this? Sad. Sad. Sad. And RIGHT THERE is the problem with women in tech. RIGHT THERE

QueenofSpain because the guys filling in, or the guy and @calacanis is such a HOTTIE? I mean, they must be, if they are on MAHALO VIDEO

QueenofSpain I love how that’s a requirement for the girls. @lons did you submit photos too?

QueenofSpain Ugh. I feel sick after watching that for too long. Olive branch totally taken back. I don’t give a crap what he’s done.

QueenofSpain @themacmommy hell no. Not a chance in HELL. I’ll stick with organizations that actually show a bit of respect.

QueenofSpain @GeekMommy don’t be. was a great education. seriously. I mean that. all that buzz about women in tech in the fashion section? yeah. i get it

Basically I tuned in to see Jason Calacanis and his ‘JasonNation’ look at photos, declare there shall be ‘no schlubs’ and discuss the hotness level of each candidate. Jason did stipulate the candidate must have brains (how nice) but needed to be easy on the eyes.

Let’s just review who I’m watching currently in and around the web, shall we?

Lon Harris is the current co-host of Mahalo Daily.

Robert Scoble

Jeff Pulver

Jason Calacanis

Shel Israel

Loren Feldman

Steve Garfield

Gary Vaynerchuk

Those are just off the top of my head, there are many more. Now let’s go ahead and guess how many of that group would have gotten to where they are if being ‘easy on the eyes’ were a requirement? Not all Brad Pitt up there on that list. Turns out, and it’s funny really-it is their CONTENT that matters.

I’m not sure if Jason Calacanis or anyone in that chat room (with the exception of Gary who is respectful and has proven himself as such) gets what they are doing when they make looks a requirement, when it’s clearly NOT a requirement for the men.

The only way I can possibly think of to make the CEO and ringleader understand is to curse him with 10 daughters.

5 super model daughters and 5 less than perfect daughters. I’d like him to see first hand the opportunities they are afforded, the heartbreak, and the double standards they face. I’d like him to feel the pain of his daughter as her brilliance in tech and web are overlooked for a less-intelligent woman with a better rack. I’d like him to watch as his beautiful daughter is paraded on a video blog to be masturbated to by 40year-olds in their mother’s basement. I’d like him to sit all 10 of them down on the Calacanis family couch and explain Daddy’s requirements for the next Mahalo Daily host.

Whomever you hire, Mr. Calacanis, I hope she’s qualified, brilliant, and kicks your ass.

Filed Under: Holding Court, Men and their duckcamps, Princess Peanut, Royal Rant, Royal Vagina, TweetQueen
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