Living Under a Rock

patrickAlright, so I just found out about the cell phone thing. Considering it has been forever since I’ve gotten out of the house, I’m giving myself that one.

However, I’m not sure why it took my so very long to discover Pink’s Dear Mr. President.

Dear Mr. President lyrics
(feat. Indigo Girls)

Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let’s pretend we’re just two people and
You’re not better than me.
I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We’re not dumb and we’re not blind.
They’re all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter’s rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You’ve come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you ’bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don’t know nothing ’bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You’d never take a walk with me.
Would you?

YOUTUBE PAYBACK

So, the other day I posted a video clip of Mocha Momma, aka Kelly, reading at LA Angst. She was unhappy with me. She swore her revenge and said she would post me in an “unflattering” light and that I deserved it.

Ladies and gentlebloggers, Kelly’s revenge (CLICK TO SEE)

Yes, that was edited. But you’ve seen enough of my tits.

Spot the NON blogger

Kelly, Suebob, Mocha, HALA, Leahpeah

Dude, where’s my cone?

Citizen of My Heart

Dude, I just got called a Mata Hari – a blogher mata hari, none the less. I like it.

The rumors are true, I did throw Citizen of the Month (I refuse to call him Neil) against a diaper changing station in the back of an overpriced Mexican restraurant in a vain attempt to make him worship and promote all that is blogher.org and blogher.org in second life.

I’m not ashamed. Its all about sacrifice. Its for the greater good. Its all about the links.
…and I had accomplices. (accomplice-i?) I mean…what man could or would deny LeahPeah, Mocha Momma, Katronika, and ME?? He’d have to be dead or gay. So we worked our wiley women charms after the live and full of humiliation readings at LA Angst and he left dazed and muttering “Queen rules all..Queen rules all…Long live the Queen” or something-it was hard to hear with Kelly’s tongue down his throat. Did I mention she licks?

All kidding aside, I’m sorry it took me two days to get around to telling you about LA Angst but good god people, did you NOT see the major conference I’m hosting? My hands may not be as full as the fine ladies setting up the real deal in Chicago…but its possible even my avatar self is stressed out.

100 registrants for BlogHer ’07 in Second Life, and counting. Kick ass schedule. Kick ass speakers. Kick ass band. I’ll be in Chicago, and virtual in the SL conference. Which means you can drink with me two ways. But beware, Citizen of the Month may never be the same, and neither will you.

(he’s in the middle-wearing a shirt from DETROIT…yeah, don’t think I didn’t call him out on that one)

LA Angst

Be Jealous Bloggers!

I’m spending tonight with

LeahPeah

Mocha Momma (I hope she licks me)

Katronika

Redleather

West Coast Grrlie Blather

Heathervescent

All in the name of embarrassing the hell out of ourselves by reading from our old diaries. Yes. Those diaries. Where, if you were anything like me, you went off about how you felt “dirty” for giving a boy a backrub and then listed what would be the entire guest list to our wedding.

Talk about fun. It’s called LA Angst and you can find us tonight at Tangiers Restaurant
2138 Hillhurst Avenue
just south of Los feliz blvd.

$4 at the door…but well worth it to watch us feel all uncomfortable.

Los Angeles I’m Yours

That “old” feeling can creep over you, unexpectedly, in many ways.

One way is while you are enjoying a show at the historic Hollywood Bowl, and the performers call for everyone to hold up their cell phones.

Ummm…wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhat?????

Back in my day we held up lighters. Ok, so they have probably been banned or something…but we certainly did NOT hold up our cell phones and let them glow blue and green in the Hollywood night sky. We held up FIRE-and then we used the FIRE to light up a smoke or a joint. THAT’s how it was done, dammit.

My girlfriend’s 15-year old informed me this has been happening for many years now. Which made me feel sad I was so old, but even more sad because it had been that long since we’d been to a concert. In fact, this was our first show since we moved to Los Angeles (nearly 10 years ago)-you know, where GOOD bands come to play, as opposed to say Farmville, MI where maybe, just maybe, one BIG act comes once every two years.

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All of that cell phone nonsense aside, if you are ever in Los Angeles, I highly recommend the historic Hollywood Bowl. Go ahead and bash LA-but I dare you to find anything like this anywhere else in the US. And yes, we drove our Prius there and drank wine-so make fun of us all you want. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Except maybe a lighter and a joint.

MySpace Thinks Breastfeeding is OBSCENE

So I’m moving the tit brigade to MySpace, of course.

Just so I have this right, the online spot notorious for underage girls hooking up with pedophiles (with their clothing-barely there in their profile photos) has an obscenity issue with breastfeeding. 16-year old in string bikini-fine. Mom feeding baby-OBSCENE. Hellloooo backwards.
Isn’t that a lovely message to send. My tits, feeding my kid, are sexual and offensive.

Well, MySpace corporate muckity-mucks. Meet my tits. They are functional, nonsexual parts of my body that feed my child. As you sit around your little conference table and discuss how best to handle the gazillion lawsuits on your agenda-you know, the ones where you did nothing to stop all the innocent children from being targeted by predators, etc…know that there are millions of mothers who want you to ahem use your brains.

By deleting breastfeeding images from your site, you are telling your community there is something WRONG with a mother giving milk. By deleting breastfeeding images from your site, you are telling the world this innocent act of nature is offensive and sexual.

As you work to rid your online space from predators, I encourage you to spend your energy and money fighting the RIGHT battle. I encourage you to leave, intact, the photos of beautiful breastfeeding mothers I have left as a challenge to you on my profile.

We are not obscene, and we certainly are not going to sit around and let you tell the world what we do is offensive.

Change your policy. Now. If you want to continue to change your image as the smut site for teens where dirty men go to masturbate-I suggest you support the natural acts of a women’s body by NOT labeling it as obscene. Promote the healthy tit here, you idiots.

***** SIGN THE PETITION!

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***Yes, I saw this post today, and I KNOW I’m being baited-let me just swallow that hook, mmmk? Suck it, blogger. I’m not here to change your mind, I’m here to protect my rights and my child’s right to eat. I’m here to make sure I can feed my child whenever and wherever I see fit. I don’t really give a shit who is comfortable or uncomfortable, if it’s a public place, too damn bad. Maybe you don’t get out much in Kent, Ohio…but allowing bigotry is NOT how we roll here in sunny California. So consider our nurse-ins and actual ACTION (in case you are confused, that’s different than just words posted where no dialog is allowed or difference is made) just a taste of my Mommyblogging, righteous indignation. I got plenty more where that came from-you see I actually back up my blather with deed.

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