Hi, your friendly neighborhood Kaiser reporting on the Queen and her lack of body parts. Not only can I hold over her head the fact that I’ve been published in GQ and she hasn’t, I can also boast that I, in fact, have more vital organs than she does.
Here’s what was learned today:
Don’t say “Put it in her butt!” when the nurse has to check your wife’s temperature for a second time because the first try didn’t work.
Don’t say “This happens every time we try heroin.” to the nurse when she’s trying to find one of your wife’s veins to take blood.Don’t say “Except for when I pass out.” to the nurse when she deadpans “It must be fun and laughs AALLLLLLLL the time at your house.” to your wife.
Saying these things will actually make your wife LESS comfortable. Not more. But Less.
Here is what was NOT learned:
Kaiser = Idiot.
But enough about me.
The Queen is doing as well as one could expect for a person who’s thyroid is currently residing in a jar. She was in rough shape afterwards, but there were no complications, nothing unexpected. Not sure when she’s coming home, but it’ll probably be tomorrow evening. Nana said the kids were great all day. I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to report, so I’ll shut up now. Twelve hours too late…
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