2007

Party Girls

May 21, 2007 by Queen of Spain 6 Comments

There are days when some things smack you in the face. Times when everything is so very clear, you have to blink.

My 2-year old daughter is a party girl. Like her mother before her, she can bring down the house with a saunter and a hair flip. I’ve spent the past two years hoping she will be more of a a “class clown” or “ham”-even calling her these things to try and solidify her character.

No luck. As I drank martini’s with Karen this weekend, it became very, very, very clear exactly the personality emerging in my little mini-me-and Karen nailed it when she said, laughing, “she’ll be doing keg-stands.”

Instead of being afraid that she is her mother’s daughter-I think I’m going to just embrace her free spirit. I’m going to show her how to be the fun, yet in control party girl. The one who can make everyone in the room turn their heads to see, and make them all feel comfortable and at ease with just her smile.

In the meantime, she’ll wear doll skirts on her head and prance around like she’s Queen of the World.

I can’t imagine where she gets it.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Princess Peanut

Crotch Torture-DENIED

May 19, 2007 by Queen of Spain 10 Comments

Sigh. Sadly, Karen and I will not be going for her crotch torture extravaganza. As it turns out, we received inside information her crotch waxer was, shall we say, sub-par. We were advised to take her hairy cooter and RUN.

So we got pedicures instead.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Royal Vagina

Too Drunk To Blog

May 19, 2007 by Queen of Spain 8 Comments

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Royally Inebriated, Stepford Crazies

TrollBaby Lands on US SOIL

May 17, 2007 by Queen of Spain 10 Comments

The EAGLE has landed and she’s with my husband.

Wait…maybe eagle is wrong. Maybe I should say…the Goose has landed? You know, Canadian Geese and all???

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa

WILL PUT OUT FOR HOCKEY TICKETS

May 16, 2007 by Queen of Spain 22 Comments

My first playoff game EVER and we were late. LATE.

Not late like, “oh, we were just running a little late…” but late like “OH FUCK I CAN NOT HAVE ANOTHER BABY” late.

The shitty kind of late. The stuck in traffic for three hours kind of late that makes Queen and Kaiser lose all humor and nearly get divorced kind of late. The kind of late that can only be shown in photos:

Yes, I did nearly kill us twice as we made our way to Anaheim. At the time, it seemed worth it to get to my first Red Wing playoff game when the pucked dropped. Yes, we did get there in one piece and once we sat down enjoyed a fabulous game where my team beat the living SNOT out of those stupid ducks.

I heckled. I had decent beer. I made fun of all the goalies we pummeled. And I drove home without banging the steering wheel.

5-0 Wings. That helped.

Anyone want to buy me tickets for tomorrow nights game? I promise to get there on time. OR I can just be your date…whatever. I’ll totally put out.

Filed Under: Royal Pain, Royal Sillies

Caption Contest

May 15, 2007 by Queen of Spain 13 Comments

Let me get the ball rolling:

“Why Yes, Erin…I AM getting ass fucked by Satan RIGHT NOW!”

…sure, I wish his family my sympathies…but I hope if there is any justice in this world Jerry Falwell is rotting in hell. Right. This. Very. Second.

Filed Under: Royal Pain

The Rumors (or RUMOURS for those Canadians out there) Are True

May 15, 2007 by Queen of Spain 12 Comments

It’s not enough that we blog together and cause chaos all over Second Life…So Karen aka TrollBaby is getting on a plane (she hates those) with a passport and leaving her country and coming to mine.

The itinerary is as follows: Get silly, drink, get sillier, drink, get girly, get silly, drink, drink, drink.
I’ve lined up the babysitters, booked the spa, gotten out the patio furniture for drinks by the pool, and even shaved my pits. All for Karen. She deserves it.

Let this post serve as a warning to everyone in the blogging world and the second life realm: Queen and Duchess are on the loose in Los Angeles, someone will end up getting a drunk IM, or phone call, or subjected to reading our incoherent blog posts.

Karen is still accepting Dares over on her blog for a great cause, if you like…I’ll throw myself in to help get the $$. So go ahead and dare both of us to do something. Together. (yes, we do have a surprise joint post planned-it will involve something we go to together…but that’s not a dare)

In the meantime, I have hockey tickets…for those who know me well enough you understand I may throw up from the sheer excitement of it all. I’ll be the one in red and white in a sea of Ducks. We’ll be behind Hasek to the left for the 1st and 3rd. Look for the crazy, screaming girl yelling things like “HIT HIM YOU IDIOT!” and “GET IT OUT OF THE ZONE!” and I have no doubt security will come warn me at some point for threatening Snoop Dog. I mean really…Ducks…ooooh, scary….(note the sarcasm). Believe it or not, after 32 years of being a Red Wings fan this is my first playoff game. MY FIRST. I know you guys don’t care so I will shut up now…but understand I MIGHT PEE MYSELF I’m so excited.

So in review, dare Karen and I to do stuff for a good cause, and Go Wings. OH…any bloggers or SL’ers from the greater Los Angeles area are invited to contact us to join in our romp.

Must go empty bladder now.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa, Royally Inebriated

A thought for Mom’s Day

May 13, 2007 by Queen of Spain 5 Comments

I normally am not a Sunday morning comic girl (what? I like the food and local sections) but I happened upon Frazz this morning, and well…food for thought: