We didn’t even know your name.
You came into our lives, awkwardly dancing next to that long haired guy. You didn’t seem to sing. Or play an instrument. Or do anything but bounce a little.
Who were you? And where did you go?
Maybe Disney realized you looked pretty retarded just standing next to Ralph. Maybe the rest of the world was just as distracted as I was, not paying attention to Ralph’s songs and simply watching you randomly bounce on stage.
But it no longer matters. You are gone. Either taken out of every video digitally or simply removed from the entire filming process.
Are you sad? Are you sitting in some bar with Melanie from PBS Sprout, drinking scotch and damning the mothers of the world to hell?
Do you have some seedy past Disney just discovered? Or were you stricken with some strange disease, rendering you unable to jump and shake next to Ralph?
Should we send get well letters? Or petition Disney for your return?
Not that you did anything. I mean, you just stood next to Ralph. But whatever.
Come back. Ralph is far too boring and you were the comic relief I needed to get me through yet another viewing of “Lemonade.”
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