Queen of Spain Blog

…and then the valet brought the Minivan around

April 10, 2008 by Queen of Spain 23 Comments

I can talk a good game.

Hi, I’m Erin. Yes, I’m a blogger. Nice to meet you.

And then I drop words like ‘beta’ ‘tech’ ‘viral’ ‘widget’ ‘twitter’ ‘scalable’ and then drop names like ‘Arrington’ ‘Kawasaki’ and nod my head a lot.

It means I end up at places like the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood eating chocolate cake at 1am with a table full of PR and web types. All while I watch the clock on my blackberry, wondering if the kids got to bed ok and if Nana remembered to give them both their new allergy medicine.

(me and Pete Cashmore, CEO of Mashable.com. He’s a sweetie.)

Part of me wants to race home, the other part wants to buy everyone another round and head to a club. I’m loving the opportunity blogging and twitter have brought, but am confused at the same time. SOCIAL media is all about being SOCIAL.

Originally uploaded by
((CC) Brian Solis, bub.blicio.us, briansolis.com)

I’m really good at the SOCIAL. But how do I continue down this path and raise two small kids and make sure their laundry is done? How do I attend all these conferences and the PTA meeting?

I stood there last night talking shop with a gaggle of web types, ordered another drink, discussed flying to San Fransisco for a day to attend a meet up, planned parties and mixers, chatted about yet another party tonight and quickly had to say ‘no, no…I’m not coming, tonight is my night out.’

In the back of my mind I’m wondering if Nana can babysit again and if Friday night I can sneak out for a few drinks with the movers and shakers.

No. No. Balance. Balance is good.

I’m going to go fold some kid socks and put away HotWheels cars and maybe empty the dishwasher and remind myself the only reason they want me there is because I bring those of us carpooling to t-ball and tivo-ing Elmo to the table.

Make no mistake, we belong at the table.

I just wish they could put a kids table next to the adult table and make it lunch, not cocktails.

Filed Under: Stepford Crazies

John McCain Inspired My Husband to Blog

April 8, 2008 by Queen of Spain 10 Comments

*crossposted at MOMocrats.com

How did he do it? By allegedly calling his wife a cunt.

Please don’t be surprised that an ex-POW would be ‘mean’ to a woman or have some temper issues.

As for Cindy McCain…other than looking like the perfect Stepford wife while standing next to him on stage, I don’t know much about her. Maybe she likes being called a cunt? Maybe under all that hairspray and makeup she’s some sex freak who gets off on being berated in public? Maybe she’s secretly plotting to publicly call her husband an asshole during his next big speech? Either way, I’m going to guess husband and wife name-calling occurs on SOME level in the McCain household. Maybe it doesn’t. All I know is the whole story had my husband writing.

MOMocrats, meet DADocrat Aaron Vest:

There’s a new dust up on the campaign trail for the McCain camp. You’ve probably already heard about the new book by Cliff Schecter, “The Real McCain”. In the book Schecter writes:

“Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain’s intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain’s hair and said, “You’re getting a little thin up there.” McCain’s face reddened, and he responded, “At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” McCain’s excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.”

And the outrage ensues.

Feminists are outraged by the use of the word cunt. The Morally Correct simply don’t like curse words at all, especially words like cunt. And many other people are just scared that McCain could take his notorious temper into White House and start hammering away at the button with his fist, red faced jowels flapping around wildly in the wind, while screaming “Ahmadinejad is a cunt!” People believe this could happen. They do. They really really do. And they are outraged. As a side note, I think it’s rather ironic that people would be “outraged” by his temper. But anyway…

I, for one, think that we should take a step back and give McCain the benefit of the doubt on this one. We may know about his voting record. We may know about his policies. We do know all about his heroics as POW. But what we don’t know very much about is Cindy McCain. It’s quite possible that she really is a cunt. And a big one at that. Have you ever spent a really long hard day with a really big cunt? It’d piss you off too. Especially if the cunt started making fun of your male pattern baldness.

This raises a serious question, how could he have not known she was a cunt before committing to her? Did he just assume that heck, he can just easily make her stop being a cunt just because he married her? Was his best man telling him he’d be able to do it in less than a year at almost no cost? Did McCain know the history of her family? I bet he’d feel pretty silly to find out now that there is a long history of being a cunt in her family. After he discovered he couldn’t get her to stop being a cunt he probably wished he had an exit strategy for the marriage. Or at least a pre-nup. Maybe he just planned on being married to her for 100 more years, or however long it took. Who knows really?

So while I’m perfectly willing to accept John McCain’s assessment that he married a cunt, I think that says more about his judgment than anything else. Honestly, I think the last thing we need right now is another cunt in the White House.

…Oh stop it Hillary supporters, I wasn’t talking to you.

Erin Kotecki Vest writes at Queenofspainblog.com her husband usually doesn’t write anywhere

Filed Under: Kaiser, Queen MOMocrat

Can’t Be Any More Bizzare Than My Panty Drawer

April 7, 2008 by Queen of Spain 9 Comments

The chairman of Senator Hillary Clinton’s campaign, Terry McAuliffe was photographed in a rather odd way this weekend. I’m confused. And shaking my head. And wondering if he just didn’t NOTICE he was holding an Obama sign each time, or if he was being SUPER polite? This from the guy who is on my TV daily spouting vitriol. Weird.

Just as weird? A short vid I shot last week when my in-laws were here, given new life over at Utterz by either pervs or other Moms who’s panties are in the same, sad, shape. Why doesn’t Victoria’s Secret send me any PR e-mail?

Filed Under: Queen MOMocrat, Stepford Crazies

Save Women’s Lives

April 7, 2008 by Queen of Spain 1 Comment

As part of my ongoing work with BlogHer.com, I am VERY proud to announce BlogHer and Global Giving have teamed up to Save Women’s Lives.

Harness the Power of Women Online.

Blog. Act. Donate.

Filed Under: BlogHer, Feeling YaYa

I Curse Jason Calacanis With 10 Daughters

April 5, 2008 by Queen of Spain 28 Comments

My husband nearly fainted when we found out our second child was going to be a girl.

Dead silence on the other end of the phone.

Weeks earlier my OBGYN thought he saw a penis and the look of relief on my husband’s face told the true story. Everything is going to be ok, it’s a boy.

Then a checkup a few weeks later showed vulva, no penis, and terror struck. TERROR.

His fears included, but were not limited too: will she get knocked up at 16? Will I have to kill all the boys that like her? Will she be ugly, pretty, smart, stupid? To this day he’s hoping our striking daughter needs glasses, braces, and is covered in hair.

He thinks if she’s hairy, the boys won’t bother her. He would also prefer she be gay.

Why? Easy, he’ll tell you that he is a man. He knows men. He knows how he was at 13, 16, 19, 25, 35 and he wants his daughter to have nothing to do with any of it. Period. End of story.

What my husband fails to realize is he married ME. With any luck my strong, vagina-having, self will make sure my daughter is prepared for the boys, the body-issues, the confusion between what matters more: her mind or her looks.

Which leads me to yesterday, and the can of ~~penis~~ worms opened by one Mr. Jason Calacanis, and his search for a replacement for Veronica Belmont, host of Mahalo Daily.

I logged into Twitter to see several people had mentioned my name to Jason as a possible replacement. Hmmm, I thought. Must investigate more. I’m not exactly a Calacanis fan after his ‘make me the #1 twitter-er’ bribe, but had been willing to listen to all those who said he’s actually a decent guy.

So I checked it out-Veronica looks like she’s done some fun stuff with the videos, totally not techy (that I can tell) but entertaining. A few minutes into my snooping and Gary Vaynerchuk twittered that Jason was live on Ustream taking suggestions for a new host. I clicked on over. I’m not really sure I can accurately describe what I found, so let me just copy and paste my twitter stream:

QueenofSpain They are going over these girls based on looks-seriously. I don’t want ANYTHING to do with that crap. It would be an Erin SMACKDOWN

QueenofSpain and I love how they all just ASSUME any of these women are just DYING to get a call to work for @jasoncalacanis

QueenofSpain Am I wrong? Am I the only one who is watching this? Sad. Sad. Sad. And RIGHT THERE is the problem with women in tech. RIGHT THERE

QueenofSpain because the guys filling in, or the guy and @calacanis is such a HOTTIE? I mean, they must be, if they are on MAHALO VIDEO

QueenofSpain I love how that’s a requirement for the girls. @lons did you submit photos too?

QueenofSpain Ugh. I feel sick after watching that for too long. Olive branch totally taken back. I don’t give a crap what he’s done.

QueenofSpain @themacmommy hell no. Not a chance in HELL. I’ll stick with organizations that actually show a bit of respect.

QueenofSpain @GeekMommy don’t be. was a great education. seriously. I mean that. all that buzz about women in tech in the fashion section? yeah. i get it

Basically I tuned in to see Jason Calacanis and his ‘JasonNation’ look at photos, declare there shall be ‘no schlubs’ and discuss the hotness level of each candidate. Jason did stipulate the candidate must have brains (how nice) but needed to be easy on the eyes.

Let’s just review who I’m watching currently in and around the web, shall we?

Lon Harris is the current co-host of Mahalo Daily.

Those are just off the top of my head, there are many more. Now let’s go ahead and guess how many of that group would have gotten to where they are if being ‘easy on the eyes’ were a requirement? Not all Brad Pitt up there on that list. Turns out, and it’s funny really-it is their CONTENT that matters.

I’m not sure if Jason Calacanis or anyone in that chat room (with the exception of Gary who is respectful and has proven himself as such) gets what they are doing when they make looks a requirement, when it’s clearly NOT a requirement for the men.

The only way I can possibly think of to make the CEO and ringleader understand is to curse him with 10 daughters.

5 super model daughters and 5 less than perfect daughters. I’d like him to see first hand the opportunities they are afforded, the heartbreak, and the double standards they face. I’d like him to feel the pain of his daughter as her brilliance in tech and web are overlooked for a less-intelligent woman with a better rack. I’d like him to watch as his beautiful daughter is paraded on a video blog to be masturbated to by 40year-olds in their mother’s basement. I’d like him to sit all 10 of them down on the Calacanis family couch and explain Daddy’s requirements for the next Mahalo Daily host.

Whomever you hire, Mr. Calacanis, I hope she’s qualified, brilliant, and kicks your ass.

Filed Under: Holding Court, Men and their duckcamps, Princess Peanut, Royal Rant, Royal Vagina, TweetQueen

Camp Baby and BlogHer Biz Go-ers

April 3, 2008 by Queen of Spain 10 Comments

This one is for you. Plus I really just wanted to play with Viddler.

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa Tagged With: BlogHer Business, GPD08, Johnson and Johnson Camp Baby, QueenofSpain, Viddler

Girly Geek Guilt

April 2, 2008 by Queen of Spain 16 Comments

I’ve been in denial for a bit, but ok…fine: I’m a geek.

A total GEEK.

The blogging, the second life, the betas, the twitter.

It’s really NOT the core of who I am it is simply the tools I use to mouth off. So really, I’m just loud and using tech to be LOUDER.

By default that means I see and hear a lot of crap about that whole ‘girls don’t like science and tech’ bullshit that flies around our lives. I’ve seen the many, many, many examples of the very FEW number of women speaking at tech conferences. I’ve heard the arguments that we’re ignored and I’ve heard the arguments that we don’t pitch ourselves like the boys do.

I’ve found myself on BOTH sides of this debate wondering if it was maybe a little of both, a conspiracy by the patriarchy, and a lack of interest by women.

Nothing prepared me for reality.

Photos from the birthday party for my 5-year old and 3-year old this weekend.

Behold as this feminist geek gets to the bottom of what is really going on:

Galileo vs. Paris Hilton

I think that’s what the boys call-Epic Fail

It is not that I fault the gifts. They are exactly what my children wanted. It was that I realized how their preferences were splitting directly down those stereotyped gender lines.

It made me angry.

So let us all just put an end to what is going on in our tech/social media/web world when it comes to gender: It is all my fault.

Taking my pink laptop and going to bed.

Filed Under: Royally Screwed, Stepford Crazies, TweetQueen

Lessons Learned

April 1, 2008 by Queen of Spain 4 Comments

Today in my e-mail box:

Dear QueenofSpain:


Thanks for joining my fanclub!

The Jason Calacanis is a Golden God Fan Club has, quite literally,
 thousands of members all around the world who all enjoy the benefits that
 membership brings!

Those benefits include:
 # A free newsletter every month, direct to your inbox.
 # Email updates every day with club news and news about me.
 # A personally signed photograph.
 # Discount off all merchandise in the Jason Calacanis is a Golden God
 Fan Club on-line store.
 # Access to our on-line chat room (you never know, I may be in there
 myself thanks to UStream!)
 # The chance to win a MacBook Air once I have 'won' Twitter!
 # ...far to many other things to list here!

You membership is now in the database and your signed photo of me
 should arrive at your home address within the next week or so.

Your membership number is: 0018217

Once again, Mahalo!!
Jason!

----
This message was sent using MailFool.
Message id: "GMM3122327PJKB".
Visit http://www.MailFool.com for more info or
if you doubt the authenticity of the e-mail.

Which was followed up by this.

And then came this.

And then I had to watch this

You and you and you are very lucky I’m way too important to be phased by your silly little April 1st fun. Pffft. Sorry, I was channeling Calacanis* for second there. I will now crawl into a cave with no wifi and hide until it’s April 2nd, 2008.

*Jason Calacanis is allegedly important in this web world we live in and he’s trying to bribe people to follow him on Twitter by giving away a MacBook Air. He wants to be the #1 most followed person on Twitter. I got a bit mouthy about it (and the readers gasp in shock) and now it’s become a bit of a joke. I hear he’s not a horrible person, just a bit of an ego (ya’ think?) but since we’re all in this business of blogging, errr social media, we all have egos. But the fact I have to explain who Jason Calacanis is to half of my audience makes me think he has yet to conquer many corners of the web. Oh, and yeah, it makes me laugh pretty hard too. MWUAH and big fat smooches to you Jason, I hear you live near me. Have your people contact my people and we’ll do lunch. You’ll have to be as cool as SoCalMom, though. Because we did lunch yesterday and it rocked.

Filed Under: kill me now