“Dear Uncle C. Be careful and have a good time. Get all those guys that are bad. Helps your friends. I love you.” -Count Waffles the Terrible, age 4.
Going Gray
I found my first gray hair.
On my va jay-jay.
Not on my HEAD like a normal person. No, Queen goes gray down there. Fantastic.
Just call me grandma crotch.
Admittedly I noticed this awhile ago, but i thought it was a fluke. I thought one, odd hair sprouted up in between waxing sessions and it would never be seen again.
I’m due for a wax and I now have THREE gray crotch hairs. THREE. 1.2.3.
What if my vag goes gray and my hair stays normal? I mean, totally dying my hair on my head anyway…but NOT the point.
I’m really unsure how I feel about this. Getting a gray hair is supposed to be a little unsettling, sure. I’m 32. Gray hairs will occur.
I just wasn’t expecting it to be on my vagina.
Does this mean I have an old crotch? What does this say about me?
All I know is all three of those puppies are coming out on Friday and with any luck, and many, many waxing sessions, they will be never seen again. Ever. Ever. Never. Ever.
If I didn’t wax, what would I do? Grow OLD IN THE CROTCH gracefully?
Just going to get waxed and try not to think about it.
Or going to melt down and have a midlife crisis. Can you have a midlife crisis at 32?? Over a graying crotch?
Guess we’ll find out.
From The Blogosphere to Iraq, with xoxo
On September 11th, 2007 the kids and I will be at a local park. They won’t be on the slide and the won’t be digging in the sand. They will be in a tiny rec room coloring pictures for their uncle and other soldiers stationed in Iraq.
I want you to join us.
I’d like to show my brother-in-law how cool you and your kids are…and that we think of him, and his colleagues. He won’t be home for another year. That’s a long time to be away from your two little ones, your pregnant wife, and your friends.
Leave me a comment or send me an email (queenofspainblog@yahoo.com) and I will provide you with his address. If your kids are back in school, maybe just send the artwork they made on Tuesday. Have your older kids write a letter. You can use a regular stamp and you can drop it in the mail. Its really not much to ask.
Spend September 11th in a constructive way. Please.
Queen
Pouting
BlogHer ’08-VOTE
This is a tough one. Giggling really hard. It’s ok, most of you are confused by that. Just go vote already.
Lyrics for PreSchoolers
“Mommy why can’t he have a screw?”
Turning down A/C in car to hear the 4-year old…
“What honey?”
“Why can’t he get a screw, that guy?”
“What guy?”
“The guy on the song. He needs a screw. And he can’t find one.”
…thinking…thinking…listening closer to music on radio..day after day…I get angry…and I will say…OH.MY.GOD.
“So the guy singing the song???? You think he needs a screw???”
“Yeah. That’s what he said. I’m sure Daddy can get him a screw out of his tool box. Then we can give it to him and he will have a screw.”
“Suuuuurrre. We can do that…”
“OH WAIT! Its ok Mommy-he FOUND it!”
“Oh…did he?”
“Yes, he found the screw in his PANTS!”
“Good for him.”
“Why would he keep a screw in his pants? Now THAT is JUST HILARIOUS Mommy!”
Sigh
Space RobotBoy Invades Sam’s Club
The US Government Wants Your Kids to Be Sick
***Queen edit: Karen sent me the link to the ads, old and new, for you to see. What do you think-scare tactic or hard hitting?***
I’m absolutely through the ROOF on this one. The Washington Post is reporting today breastfeeding ads by federal health officials were CENSORED to blow smoke up the formula lobby’s ass. DESPITE THE FACT THIS DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF OUR CHILDREN.
The formula lobby HIRED the FORMER CHAIRMAN of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE to fight what was to be a really strong campaign to show women just what might happen to their kids if they chose NOT to breastfeed.
Heath and Human Services HIRED an ad agency who came up with the spots (showing inhalers and insulin syringes) and when FORCED to tone them down the ad agency warned the new ads would NOT be effective. And guess what???? “The milder campaign HHS eventually used had no discernible impact on the nation’s breast-feeding rate, which lags behind the rate in many European countries.”
As if that isn’t bad enough, some of the GOOD people at HHS tried to get the word out anyway when a new study appeared further confirming the dire need to raise US breastfeeding rates,
“A top HHS official said that at the time, Suzanne Haynes, an epidemiologist and senior science adviser for the department’s Office on Women’s Health, argued strongly in favor of promoting the new conclusions in the media and among medical professionals. But her office, which commissioned the report, was specifically instructed by political appointees not to disseminate a news release.”
The United States government PURPOSEFULLY and KNOWINGLY just tried to FUCK your kids.
I’m beyond full of rage. I am beyond upset. I am beyond writing a few letters. I’ll be contacting Rep. Henry Waxman of California, who is leading the committee looking into this, and I’m demanding -DEMANDING an apology from those in charge. I want assurances this never happens again and I want to know, from the f’ing President himself that they are actually trying to HELP my children, not harm them.
Politics just directly messed with my family. You can talk about education and politics and social services and politics-all very important. To me this really brings corruption in our government to a whole new level. This is HEALTH. THE HEALTH of the CHILDREN in this COUNTRY. The actual LIFE AND DEATH of millions of American kids.
I’m not being over dramatic. I’ve just HAD IT. I’m done sitting on the sidelines.
I won’t be painted as some crazy lactavist either. Now I’m a Mom who just watched Lobbiest SCREW families. ON PURPOSE. I’m not naive, I know this happens all the time up there in DC. But SWEET MOTHER OF GOD you just REPRESSED information that could SAVE children’s lives.
You’re going down. I’m going to make sure of it. The sick fucks in the formula industry and their Republican cronies are about to get a Queen style ass-whuppin.
This has nothing to do with “ability” to breastfeed or “what works for your family.” This is called PROPAGANDA from big business and I’m done tolerating it. Done.
queenofspainblog@yahoo.com is the email if you’d like to help plan.
I would like to see mothers of formula fed kids on here too. They snowed your asses as well and you should be pissed. This isn’t about breast vs. bottle. This is about the US government tricking you. Lying to you. And failing to serve you. Bowing to the almighty lobby and dollar at the COST OF YOUR CHILDRENS’ HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Don’t forget, they serve you. Make them do their fucking jobs.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS
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