Roseanne Barr Can Suck It

Because I like to drop large bombs before I skip town, please enjoy this piece here, at MOMocrats, and at Huffington Post as I board a flight to SXSW in Austin, Texas.

In the grand tradition of having it out with my fellow Huffington Post contributors, I figured it was time I opened my mouth at the latest post by Roseanne Barr.

You see, I’ve actually been biting my tongue on her writing thus far. Her posts have been circulated amongst colleagues and friends with subject lines like “WTF?” and “Roseanne can suck it.

Since I am very pro ‘discussion’ and ‘let’s write about it and talk’ I figured it was only fair I took on the idea of ‘Bow to the Woman‘ here in a public forum where we can all get in on the act.

I get to go first, k?

Hi Rosanne,

I’m Erin.

Like you, I love me some mouthy women. Your gal the Senator, she’s got you snowed. It’s ok, she had me under her spell for a long time too. But understand, she’s not a mouthy woman like you and I are mouthy women. Nope. She’s a power hungry elitist happy to spoon feed you what you want to hear to get your vote. Pure-bred politician. Could that be a plus? Sure. She’s on our side, right? But like many in this country I’m not really into politics as usual anymore. I’ve had it. I’m done. I don’t want the woman who can play the game with the boys, I want the woman who refuses to play the game and blazes her own path.

Senator Clinton is not blazing her own path, she’s doing what all the good old boys have done before her.

Can I just say ‘meh.’

Now onto this business of ‘Bow to the Woman’ and what not. When I first read your post I assumed it was satire. It HAS TO BE SATIRE. Because Roseanne Barr would never write something as offensive as suggesting a black man bow to a white woman…right? She certainly wouldn’t be one of Clinton’s loudest and biggest supporters saying things like, “You can’t fight back dirtier than she can…”

You can’t really be suggesting that right now, as Samantha Power sits jobless…right?

In the event your are, in fact, serious I’d like to introduce you to a few people. Meet my friends.

Let’s start with CityMama and fellow MOMocrat Stefania Pomponi Butler,

“Dear Roseanne Barr,

Forgive me for not being convinced by your argument. I have a hard time taking anyone who picked Tom Arnold for a husband seriously. “Bow to the woman?” This isn’t some sado-masochistic bedroom fantasy we’re playing out here. This is the race for the presidency. It’s not about bowing to a woman, it’s about who is most qualified to lead our country. Who inspires people young and old to get out and vote in record numbers. Who inspires record-breaking donations and moving musical tributes. $55 million raised in February alone. You betchyerass none of those donors want Obama to “bow to the woman.” I am one of those donors and I as long as I haven’t reached my $2300 limit, Barack Obama ain’t going anywhere.

Let our country heal? Please. The person who should be blamed for not letting our country heal is Polarizing (not “Premiere”) Hillary Clinton. She does not represent “the soul of the Democratic party.” Not by a long shot. She represents status quo and entrenched corporate interests. Yes, she is a woman, but she doesn’t represent me. I resent your implication that women are sitting around in their playgroups and coffee klatsches shaking their heads and tsk-tsking over the fact that Barack Obama won’t bow to the woman.

As long as we’re talking voting records, I’d like to know why Hillary hasn’t apologized for her vote for the Iraq War. And as long as we’re talking about bowing down, I’d also like to know why she bowed to George W. Bush’s will and voted for a resolution declaring the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization. Boy, that Soul of the Democratic party sure likes war! When comparing voting records, I’d like to start there.

Somewhere, in a hotel room or on a plane, Clinton advisors are huddled together wondering how they can get Roseanne Barr to STFU. Lead us, Roseanne. Show us how cooperation works: stop painting all women with the same, tired “support Hillary or else” brush. Believe it or not there are women in this country who are capable of voting for the best-qualified candidate, regardless of genitalia. And some of us will have proudly voted for two men (in my case John Edwards and Barack Obama) by the time this race is finished.”

I’d also like you to meet White Trash Mom, Michelle,

“As a card carrying White Trash Mom, it pains me to disagree with you, Roseanne. You put WT Motherhood on the map.

You have a right to your opinion because this is America. But you presume too much by saying that Obama should give up because it’s a losing battle. Or because he can’t fight as dirty as Hillary Clinton. Your ” bow to the woman” is so focused on gender and negativity that it takes away from the remarkable progress that is being made this election year.

This year, a black man and a woman are the front runners because they are the best candidates…the best PEOPLE for the job. We are finally evolving as a country, moving forward to a place where character matters more than gender or race. Since your post mentioned Dr. King, I thought I would too:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Why not let America decide which candidate has the content of character to be President.

P.S. John McCain, far from being a Nazi, is a former prisoner of war and most liberals LOVE him.

Michael Kinsley’s recent TIME column, “Why Liberals Love McCain”.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1713490,00.html”

Just to mix it up a bit, here is Canadian Meg Fowler,

“I’m a Canadian — I can’t vote in the US election. And if you stop reading there, I don’t blame you.However, only the most geographically naive among us could miss that your country, Dear Americans, is right below mine. So what happens to you — politically, economically, culturally — definitely has an impact on what goes on up here. Sometimes more, sometimes less. In fact, a recent poll found that 15% of Canadians would give up their right to vote in Canadian elections to vote in the United States.

I’m one of them.

I believe that the choices you make in this upcoming election will have a profound impact on both the health and wellbeing of your own nation AND the world around you — including my own country. Full disclosure: I’m for Obama. Why? I believe he has the platform, vision, temperament, wisdom and leadership to bring your country to a far better place than the position you’re in now. I also believe Hilary could provide leadership — with a similar platform, to boot — but her ethical stances, the tenor of her campaign, and her divisive mentality don’t win me over at all.

That’s why I was so startled to read Rosanne Barr’s words on the Huffington Post about how she could bring ‘healing’ to the United States, and how Obama needs to ‘be a man’ and ‘take vice.’ There was so much irony undergirding her words that I actually thought the piece might be a joke. ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can’? ‘Your shrill attacks are alienating her voters’? ‘Live the dream of Dr. King’?

No, Roseanne. He WON’T fight back ‘dirty’ in her manner, because that’s a BAD thing. No, HER attacks are alienating her voters. Everything from your statements about demographics to your understanding of the political process was flawed, false, inflammatory… and increasingly in character with your hero’s campaign.

Any true feminist or believer in racial equality will tell you that the dream is to leave gender and race OUT of the vote, not to divide the party up along those lines, or to call people to act according to the colour of their skin or the parts in their panties. You are contributing to the problem, not the solution.. I support your right to support Hillary, but I hope you can come to do it on the basis of the issues and integrity.

Otherwise, you’d do well to join up with the Republicans… I hear they enjoy a good round of bad rhetoric when they’re not busy starting wars.”

How about a man’s perspective? Meet my friend Jeffrey,

“is it too much to ask Roseanne to make some of
these statements publicly (preferably while standing right next to
Clinton)? That should pretty much wrap up the nomination for
Obama. :-)”

Oh, get comfy Roseanne, I have more.

This is my friend Sue of RedStapler,

“After reading Roseanne’s opinion piece on Huffington Post, I have to assume one of two things is true. She is either

1) Stupid or
2) Evil.

Either she is so stupid that she did not realize that telling a black man to ‘bow down’ would be seen as racist and offensive, or she is so evil that she knows and does not care.”

Ammie from SleepingMommy wants to say ‘hi’ too,

“I just read Barr’s post at Huffington. Which one of Roseanne’s personalities wrote that thing anyway? What I want to know is where she gets that Clinton represents the heart of the Democratic party? I’ve spoken with too many Democrats (and Republicans and Independents) that have said they are terrified of what a Hillary Clinton presidency would do to this nation.

Not only will she divide this country because of the extreme vitriol the Republicans have directed against any and all things Clinton. (Oh how I remember the witch hunts perpetrated by the right against Bill. How will it be any different with Hillary, who served as just one of many reasons for the hatred against Bill during his term in office.) She will divide this country because people hate her. They hate her because of who her husband is, they hate her because of her overweening ambition, they hate her because she is disingenuous, they hate her because she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Ambition is good, when it is checked by reason. There doesn’t seem to be anything keeping her ambition in check, it’s driven by power hunger. And that is scary. I think that Larry David had it right in his post about the Red phone commercial.

Erin, I keep stewing on this. Couple of more things.

Barr said ‘Many of Clinton’s backers are turned off due to the shrillness of the attacks your campaign has let loose on your opponent.’

What? Shrill? With the exception of the staffer who resigned over calling Clinton a monster I can’t remember ANY shrill attacks.

Barr also says: ‘You can’t fight back dirtier than she can — it will bury your message of hope and change. It obscures the message of the people in this party!’

WHAT? HE can’t fight DIRTIER THAN SHE CAN? So. It’s okay for Clinton to fight dirty and it doesn’t obscure the message of the people in this party? And excuse me, but I think that the fact that he DOES NOT fight dirty and keeps the tone of his message positive is exactly what this party needs. It’s what makes him look good and Clinton look shrill.

One other thing: what the hell with the ‘Bow to the woman’ ?!?! Really? That’s the message supporters of Clinton want to put out there? It is exactly what will continue to turn people away from her. Militant feminazis are what give feminism and women’s equal rights a bad name.

That is all. Sorry just had to get that off my chest. I’m finished for reals now. I promise. :)”

One more, then I swear I’m done…meet Maria from PopConsumer,

“I’m done holding on to the idea that Hillary Clinton is someone I could vote for, that her election as president would represent positive change for women and that her campaign will do anything less that substantially weaken, if not destroy, the Democratic party. If this is what Clinton’s campaign for president represents then she does not speak for me, she is not winning for me (remember she said her win in Ohio was for everyone who keeps trying, not just those who voted for her) and I want no part of her campaign.”

So there you have it, Ms. Barr.

I could go on and on about your inaccuracies (insinuating Obama does not support energy independence, insinuating it was him that used the ‘monster’ term) but instead I’m going to just pretend this was ha ha funny satire.

You can’t possibly be that militant in gender issues that you’d overlook serious flaws in order to get a woman in the White House. You can’t possibly want to be that shocking to make a name for yourself and promote all that is Roseanne by entering the Election ’08 discussion.

I mean, PR for Roseanne’s brand of entertainment can’t possibly come at the expense of soldiers, uninsured Americans, or voters…could it???

I’m a MOMocrat

So I used my first post over there to ask them where in the hell their candidate disappeared to…

Crossposted over at MOMocrats

As many of you know, this site was founded to support John Edwards bid for President of the United States.

I watched from afar as the rock star MOMocrats lauded and defended their choice with wisdom, facts, and snark. They stuck to their guns and went down with the ship and now continue to voice their intelligent observations as this race drags on (and on and on and on).

I accosted Stefania late the other night as we watched the numbers come in from Ohio and Texas and flippantly added “…and I totally want to be a MOMocrat….I’m way too mouthy though. Elizabeth Edwards would scold me.”

Our CityMama laughed, and before I knew it I had a log-in to this kickass site. So I want to start by saying THANK YOU for allowing me yet another platform to rant the only way I know how.

With that said, and before you take my posting privileges away:

WHERE IN THE HELL IS JOHN EDWARDS???

I’m of the mindset that dragging the democratic nomination process out is one of the worst ideas in the history of man. Or woman. Or MOM. Whatever.

Anyway I firmly believe this is getting much uglier before it gets better and we are NOT going to all come together and hold hands and sing Kumbaya in Denver in August.

I’d like to see John Edwards endorse. And endorse NOW.

I realize he wants to be Vice President. I mean, he must. Why the hell else would he NOT say anything yet? Common sense would tell us if he goes out on a limb and endorses Clinton and Obama wins, he’s out of a job. If he endorses Obama and Clinton wins he’s out of a job and possibly sent to the American version of Siberia (what would that be exactly? Michigan’s Upper Peninsula?) for crossing the all powerful Clinton clan.

Having drank some of the MOMocrat Kool Aid and having been throughly impressed with Elizabeth Edwards at BlogHer ’07 in Chicago, I have to believe John Edwards has a spine. He surely would endorse the candidate he found most worthy of the job, not the one he thought could make or break his next position.

Naive Erin, I know. I get that a lot.

So now that we’re in a Thunderdome DeathMatch for the Nomination, where are the big name endorsements and why are they keeping their mouths shut? You mean to tell me an Edwards or Gore endorsement wouldn’t sway a few hundred thousand voters? You mean to tell me Edwards is really THAT torn over who he should throw his weight behind? I mean *I* was torn a few weeks ago, but this wagon train sure as hell has changed course over the past few weeks. I think most of us fence-sitters have picked a side by now.

With all due respect Mr. Edwards, It’s 3am. The country needs you to help end this insanity.

Please publicly endorse your choice for President. Nudge Al Gore and some others while you’re at it. Do what you can so we, the voters, don’t have to watch this party implode over the next 7 weeks and fail to unify in time to regain the White House.

The rhetoric is getting nastier. Lines are being drawn in the sand. I went from being TORN on who to vote for on Super Tuesday and happy with Clinton OR Obama-to literally wanting to fly to Ohio to be able to scream obscenities at Senator Clinton for her negative campaigning.

I am your party’s base, and I am disgusted and getting very, very, very worried we’re going to blow this whole thing.

I know I am not alone.

Do us all a favor and pick a side. Get your supporters behind the side, work a deal where you get a bunch of other big names to join you, and rip off this band aid FAST.

Please.

I’m off to drink more MOMocrat Kool-Aid. They make the best, you know. I hope to mix my own batch here often, anyone want a glass?

Because Charles Barkley is Always Right

I love Sir Charles. And I don’t mean I love him like I love my kids or I love him like I love red gummy Swedish fish. I mean…I LOVE CHARLES BARKLEY!

Yeah, it’s a scream-it-from-the-rooftops kind of love.

Back when I was young and spry (because I’m convinced I am now old and flabby- no really-you should see the stretch marks) I played basketball and adored Chuck. Between Rick Mahorn and Charles Barkley I really needed no other men in my life.

In fact, one of the greatest lessons I ever learned just might have been from Sir Charles.

In 1993, back when I was graduating High School and idolizing a then First Lady Rodham Clinton, Charles Barkley declared sports figures should not be considered role models. There was more, and there was a lot of discussion about turning celebrities or public figures into icons.

I made a mental note, and went about my life.

It’s now 2008 and I can unabashedly say Barkley was right about the role model thing. He’s been right about a few other things since then, but I am now CERTAIN that public figures as role models are a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD idea.

Where in the hell is Erin going with this…

I am now completely and totally disappointed, to the point of heartbreak, in Senator Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinem.

Disgusted, actually.

Two women who I spent many of my young years idolizing and championing have turned into establishment game-playing, fear mongering, surrogate talking-point spouting hacks.

They are so far into the system they can’t even see the rest of us, die hard feminist fans, out here gaping at them.

Mouth wide open when we watch this:


Mouth wide open when we read this.Gaping.Wondering where the women I knew have gone. Wondering if they will find their “voice” or their conscience. Wondering if they even realize what is happening to them. Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones I’m looking at you too.

However, in the end it is my fault. I held them up. I obviously turned them into something they are not, all those years.

Lesson learned.

Thanks Chuck.

***updated** apparently Clinton is now running FAKE NEWS to trick voters.


Just Call Me Erin Elizabeth Hussein Kotecki Vest

…because we are bitches and Bill Cunningham is 7-years old…



*hat tip Baratunde, my imaginary boyfriend

Swift Boat-Playground Style

Stranded again in an airport in these lovely United States I’m checking in on my kids, reading email, and catching up on the day’s headlines.

As a woman I’ve always had a pretty low threshold for bullshit. As a mother, I now have zero.

I have no time to squabble about crap. If the kids are fighting over a toy, I don’t conduct an investigation, I just take the toy away from them both. Bullshit level= zero.

So when I get an email this morning from BlogHer politics and news CE Morra Aarons giving a link to the Drudge article showing Senator Barack Obama wearing traditional Somali clothing while on a visit to Kenya, I shook my head.

Bullshit meter is beeping.

But it gets worse. What I thought would be shaken off as a non-story is turning into that Monday Media nonsense that is catching the breath of anchors and writers across the nation. I’m sitting in this airport next to 100 other people and Wolf Blitzer is bringing it up on the CNN tv’s at every gate.

The Clinton Camp is claiming it wasn’t their idea or plant and the Obama Camp is lashing back saying this is “the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering we’ve seen from either party in this election.”

Meanwhile Captain SwiftBoat is planning his big Obama party.

Except you see, we Moms…we have a very low tolerance for bullshit-I did mention that, right?

You see, I have kids. Now while that does not qualify me as a political expert, it does qualify me as a bullshit expert. I guess you can make your own jokes there, but let’s move forward.

My son and his friend tend to bicker a lot. Much like Hillary and Barack. It’s usually over nothing, but things can get pretty heated. My daughter, much like the GOP, just loves to insight these little tiffs. Then the two older kids both get in trouble and Mommy praises daughter for being so good and so unlike those two bad children in their time-out chairs.

That worked once.

I’m rather well versed in playground bullshit and I can easily detect her ruse and sit the 3-year old in the time-out chair before moving forward with the bickering 5-year olds.

I don’t tolerate this behavior from my children, and I’m certainly not going to tolerate it from any of those involved in the political process.

I’m not stupid. My 3-year old is not going to trick me.

Captain Swift Boat isn’t going to trick me either.

Day One of your little campaign to throw things at Senator Obama and we already see right through you. You push out the photo (which, btw we’re all pretty much over that whole “scare us with Muslims” thing) and hook it with Michelle Obama’s “pride” comments and talk of patriotism starts.

Bwwhahahahahahahaha. Seriously, is that all you have?

My 3-year old at least bats her eyelashes a bit.

Neener. Neener. Neener.

Feminists for Peace and Barack Obama

Sign the Petition. Visit the site to add your name.

“…Choosing to support Senator Obama was not an easy decision for us because electing a woman President would be a cause for celebration in itself and because we deplore the sexist attacks against Senator Clinton that have circulated in the media. However, we also recognize that the election of Barack Obama would be another historic achievement and that his support for gender equality has been unwavering.

In backing Senator Obama, we are mindful of the inconsistencies in his voting record and the limitations of his own plans for withdrawal. Yet it is noteworthy that at a time when this position was politically unpopular and when he was aiming for national office, Barack Obama opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq and has spoken out against the war ever since. This puts him in a far better position to articulate a clear challenge to a Republican opponent.

We are also moved by the positive tone of the Obama campaign, the tremendous energy it has released across the country, the dramatic engagement of young people and the impetus for change that his candidacy embodies.

We are speaking out now because we cannot afford to elect another President who will continue the aggressive, interventionist policies of the present. “

Hell yes. My name is #1085. What’s yours?

Talk the Talk

You can hear my appearance on Talk It Out with Patricia Smith on Blog Talk Radio.

Barack Obama in '08

I Ain’t Got Nuthin’ But Love For Ya’*

Much like when I wrote an open letter to Michelle Obama in December of 2006, I now find myself scratching my head at the response to my letter to Senator Hillary Clinton.

You people are crazy.

Alright, not all of you. In fact, I owe hugs and beers to many of you for your support. Even if you did not agree with my “whacky” idea that a candidate quit the race, you were respectful in your discussion. So thanks. And let’s face it, respectful in discussion is more than I usually am, so you get bonus points from me for keeping a level head.

The rest of you may just want to keep watching American Idol and worrying about Britney instead of coming back to this blog.

Some thoughts as I scan the hundreds of comments over at Huffington Post, at Digg, and here on Queen of Spain:

-candidates drop out of races all the damn time and states continue to vote in primaries that don’t matter. I live in California. My primary vote never mattered until this year. I’ve voted in PLENTY of elections in which it was already decided by the time my state got a chance. Guess what? You still get to vote in a general election. No really. I swear.

-If you don’t think Senator Clinton is divisive, read the comments in the last post.

-I don’t want anyone to give up on “fighting” for us or for themselves. Please. I realize the race is still neck and neck, I’m not a moron. What I was asking of the Senator was to sacrifice due to her inability to win over those Hillary-haters. She’s had time, it’s not working. That means if she wins (and mind you, if she does I am 100% behind her) we will be in a very similar situation as we are with George W. Sure, she’s on my team…but that does not change the hate. Yes, of course there are Senator Obama haters. OF COURSE. I just haven’t seen the same level of divisiveness with him. If anything, he’s winning many over.

-Superdelegates. Or as my son calls them, Super-sniff-my-butts, because he misheard me talking about them on the phone. But really, we might as well call them Super-sniff-my-butts. I’m really not liking these scenarios where Obama wins the popular vote and Clinton convinces more Superdelegates. Scary. And worthy of a revolution. As if the electoral college isn’t bad enough, now we’re faced with a frightening Superdelegate situation. Whoo hoo Democracy.

-What I was asking Senator Clinton do to was earth shattering and I realize that. I do not want a repeat of South Carolina. I do not want to see this party fight it out until the END of August and the convention leaving a bitter taste in all our mouths. The momentum of Obama’s campaign, coupled with the grassroots base and the divisiveness of Clinton does nothing but lead me to an early September of not just disenfranchised voters but near riots. I can’t be the only one who sees this coming.

-It’s Valentine’s Day. Let’s at least pretend to get along. I’m looking at the Wisconsin ads now and am quickly becoming disgusted at both campaigns when I see where this is heading. It is not pretty and it is most certainly politics as usual.

We can talk more about this tomorrow-live on ooVoo. Tell me why you hated, loved, wanted to rip to shreds my letter to Senator Clinton. Tell me if you have a better idea how to heal this country. Or are you over the idea of bringing everyone back together? Would you rather just win in November and oppress those right-wingers for a few decades?

In the meantime, I’m off to hug some Valentines…

*titled especially for the grammar nazi’s