Memo to Senator McCain: Wife Beating Jokes Are Not Funny (Even If They Are Famous)

June 26, 2008 by 9 Comments

Apparently there is some old joke about being asked a loaded question:

“Are you still beating your wife?”

Of course I had never heard this used before, not in the context of lawyers or trials or even reporting.

Fine. Fair enough. I sure don’t know every pop-culture catch phrase out there (yes, I’m snickering).

So today when I came across remarks made by Senator John McCain to the Las Vegas Sun, I about fell out of my chair.

(On why he didn’t choose Gov. Jim Gibbons to chair his Nevada campaign?)

I appreciate his support. As you know, the lieutenant governor is our chairman.

(Why snub the governor?)

I didn’t mean to snub him,. I’ve known the lieutenant governor for 15 years and we’ve been good friends….I didn’t intend to snub him. There are other states where the governor is not the chairman.

(Maybe it’s the governor’s approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?)

(Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago….

Yes, Senator McCain laughed and made a joke about loaded questions and beating his wife, apparently riffing off some well turned phrase.

At best, this is just a poor, poor, poor, cliche’ to pick when you are courting Clinton voters. At worst, he’s perpetuating his image as “old school” and “sexism is funny.”

I informally polled some friends and family of various ages and only one had heard this phrase used before- my neighbor who is in his 70’s. I’m guessing the younger demo, widely voting for Senator Obama, looked at that Las Vegas Sun quote and did the same thing I did…”HE SAID WHAT???!!! AND HE THINKS THAT’S FUNNY???!!!”

I’m doing my best to keep a level head in this election (and now everyone else snickers) so I immediately e-mailed Liz Mair of the RNC. If and when she responds, I will post an update here.

In the meantime, what the hell is McCain thinking making a joke half of us don’t know is a joke???

Wonkette writes, “What does that Joke even mean? That John McCain trying to keep his distance from President Bush/Jim Gibbons is about as likely as him beating up his wife recently? Well for shame. We want a president who continues beating up his trollop wife IN THE WHITE HOUSE.”

Erica Saves the Day writes, “As my mom says, sarcasm always has an element of truth…”

I give McCain credit for making an attempt at humor, I really do. But could he have picked a WORSE joke? And yes, the candidates misspeak. We’ve been over this. McCain didn’t misspeak here though, he intentionally invoked a tasteless joke about beating wives.

I’ve heard a ton of well-known jokes that invoke racism too, should I bust one of those out next time I run for office?

Crossposted at BlogHer.com

Filed Under: #suckit, BlogHer

Twitter Wake

June 25, 2008 by 39 Comments

I feel like I am kneeling at the deathbed of a loved one and whispering.

You were always so good to me

I love you

I’m sorry

Thanks for introducing me to all the jerks in Silicon Valley

Thanks for all the late nights fighting about politics

Thanks for being you

While I am hoping for a miracle cure, I am afraid they will soon send me the papers to have the plug pulled.

I’ve been using Friend Feed and Summize much more. I’ve been traveling to just SEE these people I know and love.

I don’t want to be calling everyone after your death and have them all be upset they didn’t get a chance to say good bye, or share their favorite memories. So I hope all my @friends leave their fond and fuzzy and funny Twitter moments here.

And really, if you do pull through- we’ll have a big party. A HUGE PARTY where we burn the Fail Whale and DM until dawn.

xoxoxoxoxo

@queenofspain

Filed Under: TweetQueen

This Woman’s Work

June 25, 2008 by 10 Comments

Lucky.

My family and I are lucky.

I am a working mom.

A working woman.

A female voter.

As BlogHer Contributing Editor American Princess put it, part of the demographic that will have a “profound effect on the outcome of November’s election.”

Like many Americans I recently went from “stay-at-home-mom who could stand to make some extra cash on the side” to “I need a job and I need it now to make ends meet in this house.”

Like many Americans we recently got the notice from my husband’s work that spouses and dependents will no longer be covered by the company’s health insurance.

Like many Americans I began to investigate what it would cost to buy myself and our two children insurance.

Like many Americans I promptly fainted.

And that’s just the start.

I seriously considered going back to work full time in my previous profession, but quickly realized that even with my years of experience I would not make as much as my husband is currently making.

Thus my very REAL interest in Senator Barack Obama’s plan to support working women and families.

Going over the plan it addresses all of my concerns: minimum wage, childcare credits, extending the Family Medical Leave Act, a middle class tax credit that would affect 70 MILLION WORKING WOMEN, health care, mortgage relief and even help saving for retirement.

SAVING? What’s that?

Being the diligent voter (newsjunkie and Political Director at BlogHer.com helps) that I am, I didn’t have to wait long to see what Senator John McCain was offering me.

My first inkling was an email from Liz Mair, Online Communications Director of the RNC’s eCampaign Division:

“Women concerned about the economy and jobs, health care, rising gas prices and energy independence will have a choice between John McCain, a bold leader who has consistently delivered solutions for working women, and Obama, whose rhetoric consistently fails to match reality. Obama’s votes for higher taxes, plans to put more government between women and their doctors, and a do-nothing energy policy are not what women are looking for in this election—and that’s why so many of us are supporting John McCain.”

Now, there are several points here I am confused with like, well…all of it. I watched last week as MomsRising delivered 9-thousand resumes to Senator McCain’s office- why?

Ten DC-area moms sporting “Magnificently Overqualified Mother” banners, some of them accompanied by their kids, were up on Capitol Hill today to send a message to Senator John McCain about his opposition to the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. That message came in the form of some 9,000 resumes from mothers across the country underscoring women’s skills, training and education, and it was crystal clear: “women are well-trained, educated and qualified and should be paid the same as men for doing the same work.”

In late April, the U.S. Senate voted on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, legislation that would loosen the restrictions on the length of time in which workers could file pay discrimination claims against their employers. On the campaign trail at the time, Senator John McCain refused to return to Washington, DC to vote on the measure (unlike two other U.S. Senators who were also campaigning for President), commenting instead that he opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and that what women really needed was “more training and education.” Ultimately, a filibuster in the Senate prevented the bill from coming to a vote. The bill did pass in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Then came word from the McCain camp: “When you consider women are a major driving force behind small business start-ups in this country, Barack Obama’s proposals to raise taxes on millions of small businesses isn’t going to help women voters,”-campaign spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker.

Now here is what I know about Senator McCain: He opposed equal pay while talking down to my gender, he opposed the Children’s Health Insurance Program, he has an entire page devoted to his “positions” over at Planned Parenthood that scares the hell out of me, and he voted to “suspend the Family and Medical Leave Act unless the federal government certified that compliance would not increase business expenses or provide financial assistance to businesses to cover any related costs.”

Marjorie at m-pyre says, “I’m also getting a little tired of the notion that Democrat women won’t vote for Obama because he won the primary. They will vote for him, overwhelmingly. To suggest otherwise, to me, suggests that women as a group don’t make rational choices in their own best interests. To support Clinton out of gender solidarity is a fine thing, given the two fine choices in the end, but it doesn’t follow that McCain is better on women’s issues than the winner of that contest–Barack Obama. And women know it.”

Just this week I was listening to an Obama campaign conference call on energy policy while simultaneously making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my children and wiping up a milk spill. I honestly don’t have time for any candidate who isn’t clear on how they will help ME and MY family.

At the very least, Senator Obama is offering me specific details on how his plans will affect women. 70 million women in his tax cut alone. All I am seeing from Senator McCain is my need for “education and training.”


Crossposted at BlogHer

Filed Under: BlogHer

Fear

June 24, 2008 by 10 Comments

Filed Under: kill me now, Princess Peanut, Royally Screwed, Stepford Crazies

Damn You Harry Shearer!

June 23, 2008 by 10 Comments

It seems they were undergoing maintenance over at Huffington Post when I wrote this, so I’m re-posting here in order to give people a chance to comment-ekv

It’s funny how inspiration works.

I am on a flight from Denver to Los Angeles and I HAVE to bust out my HUGE laptop. Before I was even allowed to turn on this very hot pink Dell, I was scribbling notes in the margins of a book.

As many of you know I contribute to the Huffington Post and MOMOcrats. Arianna Huffington was gracious enough to send all of us MOMo’s a copy of her new book “Right Is Wrong. How the Lunatic Fringe Hijacked America, Shredded the Constitution, And Made Us All Less Safe (And What You Need To Know To End the Madness)“. While my mind is racing reading this fantastic book, it was not Arianna that had me fumbling for pen and paper in Seat 19F.

There is an ongoing joke in my house that fellow Huffington Post contributor Harry Shearer is out to get me. Of course Shearer has no idea who I am and is most likely not out to get me, but it just so happens that nearly every time I post over at HuffPo, Shearer posts just a short while after me, knocking me off the front page.

Thus I tend to mutter around the house saying things like “Damn That Harry Shearer!” and my husband laughs and says, “well you know he’s got it in for you…”

We are silly like that.

Here I am barreling through Arianna’s new book and I am muttering “Damn That Harry Shearer!” at 39,000 feet.

Page 54, second paragraph:

“But as Harry Shearer has pointed out in multiple posts on the Huffington Post, the media had given up on the search for accountability.”


…the media had given up on the search for accountability.

Angels sang, light bulbs glowed, bells, whistles, red flags, and even those little cartoon-dizzy-birds-that-fly-drunkenly-around-your-bonked-head tweeted.

I have never heard a truer statement in my life. And of course I had missed Shearer’s many references to this point because I was too busy cursing him for bumping me off the front page.

That one line by the guy who does the voice for Ned Flanders sums up my entire experience going from main-stream-media reporter to citizen journalist.

That’s it.

Right there.

One. Line.

…the media had given up on the search for accountability.

Ever determined to be “fair” and give “sides” as a main-stream reporter, I did NOTHING but offer you useless PR spin. I did NOTHING but make sure time and time again you heard from each party involved and you were given the tools to make up your own mind. On the surface that seems justifiable and makes total sense.

However, I always had suspicions about those “parties” I was quoting. Rarely was I able to dig any further, as the news cycle was short, the attention span of listeners shorter, and I had an average of 30 seconds to tell you everything you needed to know.

That is not journalism, that is marketing packaged as fast-food news and information.

On the few occasions I approached news directors and asked them for the time or leeway to dig a bit further, I found myself in that real journalism world where you are looking and striving to hold someone or something accountable. To find out what really happened, and make it public.

Sadly, I only had a few occasions in my entire main-stream-media career where I was let loose. Where I really and truly DID my job. Where government leaders were held accountable as I stood at an unlocked, hole-ridden gate supposedly keeping the bad guys out of LA’s largest water supply. Where city leaders vowed money and resources as I camped out next to cargo ship after cargo ship, main bridge supports, and highly flammable and toxic tankers just waiting and waiting and waiting for someone, anyone, to stop me- all while the national guard trucks rolled above, and around me and even right past me at one of the nation’s busiest ports. Where law enforcement policy and culture was challenged as I submitted my official account detailing the bruise left on my back by an LAPD baton as I screamed “PRESS! PRESS!” and attempted in vain to hold up my media badge during protests outside the Democratic National Convention in 2000.

That is journalism. I am sickened that in my 10-year long, main-stream-media career I can count on ONE hand the number of times I practiced my trade.

So why the discussion NOW, you say?

Because I’m in the middle of a media revolution and I am seeing signs of life. A media revolution with mothers, fathers, people with day jobs, union workers, ceo’s, advocates, teachers, whistle-blowers, and people just like you.

I just left Denver, where in a few weeks tens of thousands of media outlets and entities will converge to attempt to tell you a story, give you information, and some will attempt to sway your beliefs.

As I plan my trip back to Denver in August, for work in my “new-media” role as Political Director for BlogHer.com, I am pondering how to plan coverage for the Democratic National Convention that:

a) serves my community

b) informs my community

c) searches for accountability

I just added “c” back into my playbook, with an “*” to remind me of its importance.

I look forward to seeing my fellow MOMocrats in the Mile High City. I look forward to watching the blogosphere cover an event with a take the main-stream media will not broadcast.

I look forward to the search for accountability, the less covered information, and getting back to doing what makes a difference -be it for the nation, the world, or the largest online network of women bloggers.

I am sure I will also be muttering “Damn You Harry Shearer”…just a little.

Erin Kotecki Vest’s own site Queen of Spain blog would be more like a Lisa than a Marge, with a dash of Selma and pinch of Mrs. Krabappel. Ok maybe a little Otto too. Over there she is well aware of Mr. Shearer’s amazing resume, not just his voice-over talent.

Filed Under: #suckit

Politics As Usual in the ‘Change’ Campaign?

June 20, 2008 by 8 Comments

Cross-posted at BlogHer.com

Image control is nothing new in politics. Campaigns try and make candidates look more down to earth, more athletic, more like someone you’d have a beer with. They try and make them look less old, less harsh, even less intelligent.

This has been the way of political campaigns for as long as I’ve been voting and it’s been the way of the media to eat up each photo op and event and regurgitate it for the world to see.

Then came Senator Barack Obama and his constant theme of ‘change’ and ‘hope’ and the promise to do things differently.

I believe that message. I respect that message. I even buy that message coming from a politician. NOT an easy task for this former new reporter who’s instinct is to trust no one and question everything.

So maybe I am just buying into the spin. Maybe I am being used as a pawn in this image-conscience media game. Maybe I am naive and a sucker for blogging this…but my eyebrow raised once a few days ago and again this morning as some ‘image’ issues hit the news.

From Politico:

Two Muslim women at Barack Obama’s rally in Detroit on Monday were barred from sitting behind the podium by campaign volunteers seeking to prevent the women’s headscarves from appearing in photographs or on television with the candidate.

From ABC News:

“Michelle Obama makes her debut appearance on ABC’s “The View” Wednesday as her husband, presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama, fights for key women voters. Her appearance on a popular women’s daytime television program coincides with subtle attempts by the Obama campaign to soften her image and combat efforts by some conservatives and critics to paint her as an unpatriotic, angry, black woman.”

Two ‘image’ issues that would seem to directly conflict with the messages we hear from the Obama campaign, and arriving at my attention on the day the Senator announces he will forgo public financing for the the general election.

Taken one by one these issues come with explanations, as a voter, I totally understand. However put together, it made me raise my eyebrows and wonder if the image spins were occurring behind the scenes. If this was the scripted misstep and then inevitable backpeddling of politics as usual, with campaign strategists plotting how to get rid of the persistent rumors that the Senator is Muslim and the Fox News host discussing the image of ‘angry black women’ on television in relation to Michelle Obama.

On the ‘women wearing headscarves’ issue Sepia Mutiny writes, “I have no doubt that Obama is disappointed in his staffers over this but the buck has to stop at the top of the ticket. By forcefully refuting rumors that he is a ‘secret Muslim,’ I think he is beginning to overreact and hurt his reputation among the very people who believe in him to bring a change. I mean, how in the world do you expect to campaign in Detroit and NOT be associated with Muslim supporters?”

This discussion constantly drives me crazy for many reasons, not the least of which is “What the HECK is wrong with being MUSLIM???!” Of course we all know there is anti-Muslim sentiment in this country, particularly since 9-11. However most thinking people understand the difference between terrorism and organized religion of any faith.

Every time the Obama campaign has to denounce the rumor the Senator is secretly a Muslim, I always feel a twinge of sympathy pain for Muslim-Americans.

Rochelle Riley at the Detroit Free Press blog writes, “That his campaign apologized, as it should have, for the badly mishandled incident by campaign volunteers was not the bigger story.

The bigger story is that hateful extremists who used to exist on the fringe of society are now taking over and too much is being done to appease them instead of ignore them.

The Obama volunteers who didn’t want the women to provide fuel for rumors that Obama is a secret Muslim chose to let hate-mongers dictate their actions and hurt the women’s feelings. They made a mistake, as far as we know. (Of course, the Web would have you believe that they did it on purpose because they KNEW that these women were actually plants by Sen. John McCain’s campaign, an unlikely but possible scenario that seems all the more impossible when you read about their wonderful attitudes.)”

And in the broader picture, when putting all the incidents together, Shakespeare’s Sister writes, “To be quite honest, I don’t really have anything in particular to say about either of these items. They both strike me as completely predictable from a middle-of-the-road, mainstream, establishment Democrat, which is what Obama is (and always has been) and are therefore predictably sigh-inducing, at least from this non-partisan progressive.”

Again, even my eyebrow was raised seeing all these headlines at once-however just a *tiny* bit of reading into each made me quickly realize they were not the lack of change we expect. Moreover, they seemed to be the expectation of perfection, and the need to push a headline.

Should we expect the Obama campaign to be cautious about all things ‘image’ related whether it is legitimately a policy issue, like the public financing for the general election, or a trumped up spousal media circus? Of course.

As Michelle Obama said on the View, “You have to be really careful in what you say because everything you say is looked at and in many cases misconstrued.”

Filed Under: War in Iraq Sucks It

Seems To Go With My Mood

June 16, 2008 by 5 Comments

Filed Under: Feeling YaYa

Canary in the Social Media Coal Mine

June 16, 2008 by 26 Comments

Something very important in the online world took place recently- and this guy, and this guy, and this guy, and this guy, and even this guy all missed it.

It had nothing to do with the election (half of you just sighed and said ‘thank gawd’) and it had nothing to do with my kids (the other half just sighed and said ‘thank gawd’). It also had nothing to do with Google or Yahoo or anyone who may even come close to ever landing on ValleyWag.

So what is this all important event that should have the web world buzzing?

Sarah started plurking.

I know, doesn’t seem like a big deal at all-does it?

Let me explain- Sarah started plurking and *I* was not the one who showed her Plurk. More importantly, Sarah saw a bit of buzz and checked it out on her own.

If you are still confused, let me break it down for you:

Sarah is a mommyblogger who once said to me ‘What the hell is Twitter and what the Fuck is an Utterz?’

Sarah is a friend, a fellow community member, who got into this whole ball of social media and tech as a hobby.

A hobby.

As in- starting writing about her kids for fun and to meet other moms.

Sarah does not code, Sarah does not care about scalability. Sarah could give a shit who any of you tech people are-unless you also have twins or want to talk about football or beer.

Sarah blogs to talk with her friends and make a few extra dollars here and there. Sarah is also going to probably kill me for using her as an example, but I shall buy her many drinks at BlogHer and it will all be ok.

Sarah is now an early adopter.

Sarah is out-plurking me.

Sarah and I are officially geeks who know very little geek stuff.

I couldn’t even install a wordpress plugin today, and Sarah needed my help locating where the graphic for her header is housed (after much searching we found it on an old Photobucket account, in case you were wondering).

Sarah now says things like: “What did I ever do before iPhones and Twitter? Oh right. I used to read.” And: “@trollbaby I’m still waiting for someone to pitch me a Kindle.”

Please note how she said ‘pitch.’

Cough.

Over 36.2 million women are writing and reading blogs on a weekly basis. The latest spin is some “believe blogging is now officially mainstream among women.”

Which leads me back to Sarah, and the idea that if blogging is mainstream for her…what is off-the-beaten path? Women have already upped their video site usage. Isn’t video where everyone is wetting their pants currently?

Keep in mind Sarah is one of my ‘dragging-her-kicking-and-screaming-to-Twitter’ late-adopter community members.

I don’t know how else to say this but, batten down the hatches boys.

If the nontechy Mommybloggers and other women bloggers are early adopting the latest betas and talking Friend Feed over playdates, you might want to make room at the lunch tables.

You might also want to think twice about the booth babes for next year.

Oh, and just one more word of advice…and I know some of you have already gotten a taste from me…but please consider leaving the usual BS back in Silicon Valley as we join the party.

I might mix it up with you for fun in a nice twitter or blog fight- but these women won’t. They are much more stealth and a lot less ego-driven.

They will just organize and hit you where it hurts…no, not your nuts (that’s my job)…they go straight for the wallet. All those advertisers you love and court and get all monetize-erect over? Uh-huh, as I said batten down the hatches boys.

“Today, women make 83 percent of all consumer purchases – everything from breakfast cereal to big-ticket items like cars and personal computers – for themselves and for their families.”

Sarah is the canary in the coal mine.

Filed Under: #suckit, Feeling YaYa, Men and their duckcamps, Stepford Crazies
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