I knew I needed to turn my head while I cooked dinner. Now I know why…
Too Much Fruit Salad
November 29, 2006 by 13 Comments
How long before the urban legends start?
From MSN:
The hugely popular children’s group The Wiggles is expected this week to announce the departure of its lead singer because of a serious illness, media reports said Wednesday.
The Australian supergroup has reportedly scheduled a press conference for Thursday in the western city of Perth to make a “major announcement relating to members of the group,” according to the Sydney Morning Herald, Australian Associated Press and the online edition of Sydney’s The Daily Telegraph newspaper.
The reports said the group was likely to announce the departure of the “Yellow Wiggle,” Greg Page, who has been frequently absent from touring since undergoing a double hernia operation in December.
The 34-year-old known for his bright yellow T-shirt has been undergoing medical treatment since June after experiencing fainting spells and lethargy, the reports said.
Down, but So Not Out
November 28, 2006 by 16 Comments
The skies have cleared. Thanks to all of you who sent your well wishes and caviar dreams. I’m in such a good mood that I HAVE to share the best post I have seen in ages, GGC and OPP.
Yes, that’s Girls Gone Child and her version of Naughty by Nature’s OPP. Classic. Classic I tell you.
Everyone please offer their congrats to my KICK ASS HUSBAND and his new employment at a very well known special effects house. As luck would have it, he will follow up his triumph on a certain Johnny Depp movie with yet another installment of that franchise. (seriously, don’t make me type it)
The Royal-ness of this Royal family will keep on keepin’ on. Whew.
Tollhouse Therapy
November 28, 2006 by 11 Comments
We’re getting by. Even if it means creating a large mess in the kitchen. Keep the virtual hugs coming. Please.
I’m making lemonade and I’m sure it will mean an ER trip
November 27, 2006 by 20 Comments
Pray. Rub a rabbit’s foot. Do a chant. Light a candle. Spin in a circle and spit three times.
Do what you have to do, but please, for the love of all that is holy…take the curse off my family.
I am convinced there are hidden cameras trailing us, capturing the current tragedy/comedy that is our lives. Only Hollywood could manufacture such a fantastic story:
In a world where SUV’s and Suburban Families rule…watch as one brood goes from having it all to living out of a cardboard box! You’ll laugh and you’ll cry while the world hands the Queen of Spain’s Family hilarious and madcap situations including: an unemployed husband, a brother-in-law going to war, an attempted robbery, raw sewage in the shower, and even toddler diarrhea! But just when you think this family can’t take anymore, you’ll roll with laughter as the matriarch coughs up blood and mucus and everyone gets stuck in LA’s worst traffic jam EVER! It’s non stop fun!
I give.
SUPERTITTIES! Delta Caves, MOMS Win
November 25, 2006 by 19 Comments
Did you hear about the big APOLOGY?
I think it’s safe to say over 20-thousand signatures, hundreds of nurse-ins across the nation, and countless emails and phone calls made Delta and Freedom Airlines pee their pants.
From Momsrising.org: Emails and calls from MomsRising members, as well as regular updates about the high number of petition signatures, pushed both Delta and Freedom Airlines to issue statements underscoring their commitment to allowing women to breastfeed onboard planes. Freedom Air also noted that the incident would serve as a training opportunity for all employees.
As for my flight home, I thought the 4 Delta flight attendants next to me, in front of me, behind me and walking by me went out of their way to make sure I was comfortable. HRH Princess Peanut nursed more than 5 times and even pulled my shirt up to show the attendants just what she was up too under there. No one batted an eyelash, except maybe the entire men’s soccer team behind us. And I think most of them were more concerned that Count Waffles entire orange juice landed on their flip flops. How a 3-year-old spills an entire airplane cup of juice into his seat, yet manages to NOT get himself wet is beyond me…but there is a very nice soccer team (who made it to the finals, I understand) with citrus smelling shoes in Los Angeles. Thanks boys.
Smooth Jazz with Meredith Vieira
November 23, 2006 by 7 Comments
I realize I am 3 hours behind on this whole Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade thing. But is Meredith on sedatives???? Did NBC inject her with some sort of tranquilizer before the show????
I’d like to start the “Bring Back Katie” chant now. We all know Katie is much better at parade coverage than hard news. Let’s just call it a “New” Coke incident and everyone goes back to what they were, and we all pretend like none of this ever happened.
Happy Turkey Day.
Country Roads
November 21, 2006 by 26 Comments
I never hate my inlaws more than when I am trudging through the crowds at LAX with too many carry ons and things like mittens and boots.
I’m pissed off from the time I start to pack Christmas presents in November, to when I get off the plane disheveled by two unexhaustable children and their frazzled father. You can pack all the goodies and tricks in the world, but nothing sucks the life out of you more than flying across the country with two small children.
I’m fairly certain you lose years off your life from these trips. Throw in an airline that may or may not want you to feed your child, and the happy fun time that is the first snow of the year and you’ve got yourself a toddler and pre-k meltdown madness par-tay. Whoot fucking whoot.
But then something happens. Something happens from the time you wearily say hello to family and drag your overloaded suitcases through a vaguely familiar house to when you wake up the next morning to children eager to play with their only cousins, in from another country.
Something happens when your son sprints to a barn, something only seen to him before in books or zoos, because he knows there is something so special inside, he’s been waiting for nearly half his life to catch a glimpse. His grandfather has told him time and time again he had an honest to goodness real tractor, but the tiny boy just refused to believe it until he saw it for himself.
Something happens when you watch your daughter pull a gooey marshmallow off a stick and then giggle with delight as the ooze runs down her chin.
Something happens when only cousins talk about their favorite princess vs. their favorite car. Did you know Belle was faster than Lightening McQueen?
Something happens when your daughter runs and screams and chases her older relatives, only to be stopped dead in her tracks by a row of trees and a snowy sunset.
That’s when you realize it was worth it. Despite your bitching and moaning and suckers stuck in your hair and the chasing down of matchbox cars and crayons through 4 airplane aisles…it was worth it.
So as I ready my body and my mind to make the trip back from this other world to Los Angeles, I’m wondering how long it will take me to forget that it was worth it and begin my bitching.
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